Be good to yourself Because nobody else Has the power to make you happy (Heal The Pain - George Michael)

So the last post of the year my friends.  I am not sure what happened.  It was January and the death of David Bowie and now it is December and the death of George Michael.  I thought the lyrics from this song were a great way to end the year.  For me, personally, it has been a year of moving on with my life. This year I have achieved so many things that I never ever thought I would be in a position to do or have to do.  So, for now, as always, enjoy the song.

Saturday:  Yet another PJ, lazy morning.  This will have to cease. Finally, once again, drugged my sorry carcass out of my bed and went to the shops to buy a new toilet seat!  As you can see, it is still all rock and roll.  I never thought buying toilet seat would be so complicated.  I mean aren't they all the same? Well apparently not!  I stood in B&Q look at the various models on display and finally thought that there are far more important things in life than wasting valuable time looking at toilet seats.

To further torture myself I then went to Asda to buy Andy some 'nibbles' for this evening, as I had other plans and would not be staying in with him.  I call this guilt food. At the same time I found a toilet seat and thought it would do.  The days of walking around supermarkets are now long gone and I was soon home.

Andy put the seat on whilst I gave 'direction' and then it was soon time for me to be off.  Made my way over the East as tonight I was off to see Grayson. One bus ride and overground train later I was at his and me being me, rolled up the same time as his neighbours (who he does not get on with), so I waited for them to go into the flat then rang him for him to come down and open the door.

We had a lovely evening laughing (as always), talking (as always) and drinking (yep, as always).  He was drinking his Christmas drink of Jack Daniels so I had a few; don't as me why, it seemed a good idea.  He had purchased a lovely real 
Christmas tree and it really did look so lovely.  We sat on the bean bag watching Jools Holland and I did find myself, just for a few moments, thinking who would have thought this.  The last time I watched Jools Holland with someone was many, many years ago and here I am now, in a flat in Hackney, with Grayson who I thought I would never ever get a date with in the first place, seeing in the New Year.  It was really lovely

Sunday:  Lovely breakfast of croissants and Bucks Fizz.  Well I say breakfast, I guess it was more like Afternoon Tea but you get the point.  Grayson was asking me about my blog today.  I assured him that I give people a pseudonym and told him what his was and how I do not really l like it.  He told me that he now wants to be known as Jack the Lad, the artist previously known as Grayson.  He will now be known as Jack (as in Daniels). So this morning we spent three hours, yes three hours, talking about the situation in the Middle East, the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, the Old and New Testament and King David.  I shall leave that there!  However, it was very interesting and great fun.

It was agreed that I would stay at Jack's and go home first thing on Monday morning when he had to be up and out do to personal commitments. I did smile as he had been to Marks and Spencer and purchased a vegetarian curry for me, some lovely salad side dishes - remembering I was vegetarian.  He cooked the curry with some rice and we sat at the table eating, talking and laughing.  Same old good patterns, sharing our life stories with each other.

We then sat in the lounge on the bean bag.  He has huge bean back which when he got up to get a drink, moved and I ended up getting stranded on.  I could not move.  I was saying to him 'Jack I am stuck'. I could not move for laughing and I guess I resembled something between Free Willy and a grub from Bug's Life. We watched the weekly ritual of Match of the Day (Arsenal won he was happy, Tottenham won he was not so happy) then channel hoped various films.  It was so relaxing, snugged up on the bean bag looking at the Christmas Tree, counting my blessings.

Monday:   Alarm clock set for 7.30 (yes you did read that right) neither of us wanted to get up by Jack has commitments and that is fine, that is how it is.  He made some coffee and we both washed and left his home (after me saying good by to the Christmas Tree again) at 8.30.  He walked down to the Overground with me and we said our goodbyes and he went to catch a bus.

Liverpool Street was so quiet and I popped into Tesco to get some orange juice and croissants and on the bus and home.  Sat with Andy catching up on our news and then it was Operation Get The Christmas Stuff Put Away. I kept telling myself I would feel better when it was done.  I then had a lovely shower, put my PJs on and was feeling very tired as I snugged up on the sofa.  I have had such a lovely Christmas and New Year.  I never thought I would ever get this time back or that I would allow myself to have this time. So it has taken six long, painful, emotional years. But I guess I have finally reclaimed my Christmas. When I was at Jack's I was looking at his Christmas Tree and thinking how lovely it was.  Just a simple tree with lights and red and silver baubles, but that tree was so significant for me.  I am feeling very blessed and it is a great feeling to start the New Year.

As always, with my love x