I don't know why, I don't know how I thought I loved you, but I'm not sure now (Domino Dancing - Pet Shop Boys)

So the last track from the Pet Shop Boys.  There were (as always) so many I could have had. But I chose this one.  No particular reason.  I just like it and like most Pet Shop Boys songs, it just makes me smile.  Not sure who to use next month, I have so many to choose from. All will be reviled come the weekend.  As always, enjoy.

Monday:  No sleep; well two hours! I was at the GP's (yet again) for 9.00am. Today I saw yet another Doctor and this one was so young.  I felt like Granny. He has obviously just graduated and was so eager. I was in there 30 minutes and he checked everything, and I mean everything.  Actually, I felt quite reassured by it if I am honest.  He listened, he wrote notes, he asked questions and he was eager and interested.  So I now have a new inhaler and one that the NHS have piloted.  So much so, that I had to sign something at the Chemist to say I am happy to use it and to give feed back.  I did say to Esther, the Chemist (I know here name now and she knows mine because of the amount of time I have spent in there) that I would sell my soul to the Devil at the moment if it worked, so sure bring on the prototype, I am happy to be a guinea pig. More steroids, double the dose this time and a week off work! He does not want me to go to work, he wants me to rest and recover and take some time out to build myself up again.  To be honest, that last one come as a bit of a shock, but he is right.  All I am doing is trying to carry on and it cannot continue.  

So since coming home from the Doctor's I have took my meds and laid on the sofa watching crap TV and sleeping.  Just dozing and relaxing.  I mean, it cannot do me any harm can it.  The inhaler is also having a positive result, but like I just said to my Auntie, I have been here before.  Anyway, the Doctor is calling me back on Thursday to discuss how things are going and to see what to do next.  So this week's blog will probably be a resume of how dumb down TV is creating a society of idiots.

Tuesday: Yes I slept.  OK I did wake up a couple of times and did cough, but I would have woken up anyway.  Andy is off to Manchester with work for the night so home alone.  It is strange isn't it when you are not feeling 100% how emotional you can feel. Olivier is in Cornwall and sent me video of the sea. It was so lovely as I just adore the sea. I watched the video and cried.  I know it is because I am not feeling well but I thought it was just so thoughtful of him. I have asked him to bring me back a jar of Cornish sea air as that may do me some good.  

So I haven't done much today as I really do not feel up to it. Just resting, reading and writing.  Received some news late in the afternoon about something I had been working on.  Unfortunately, it did not have the positive outcome I wanted. Don't know what to think about it really.  I have been a bit weepy today.  Good job Andy is out of town, he don't need that! I know it is because I am not feeling well - it will pass.  Shared my non-news with my friends, well those who I hear from these days.  I have also decided to make a small, but regular, donation to Shuktara.  You may recall, my friend Emma run for them on Sunday in the Marathon.

This small charity does such wonderful work for children in India.  I have been deeply moved and touched by their stories and in particular of one little girl called Guria who has the most amazing smile.  In August 2015 she was found at the side of the road (yes you did read that right) and her medical report stated that she was an 'unknown girl who is mentally ill'.  Shuktara are now caring for her and she is apparently bright as a button, who is eager to communicate even though she is non-verbal and has cerebral palsy.  She has recently had some casts made on her legs and they had to do this with her standing up as she thought she was going to die if she laid down.  Today, she has had her new splints fitted and this will enable her to walk independently. We have so much to be thankful for.  Even on days like this one for me, there is always hope and above all else, there is always love.  It feels my heart with so much love and joy to be able to make a small contribution to this wonderful charity.  Take a look at their website and if you can help, I know you will be making a huge difference to the lives of some very special children.  And thank you Guria, your smile today has stopped my tears.  http://shuktara.org/

I guess today was just one of those days when I could have done with one of Steve's hugs.

Wednesday:  Terrible night's sleep due to coughing (sigh). Spent time chatting and playing Words With Friends with my dear friend Jackie who lives in Wellington New Zealand.  Finally slept around 4.00am and woke at 8.30am. Here we go again.  Not good today.  Ended up calling Asthma UK for some advice and spoke to a lovely nurse called Micky who said that I had over the weekend an asthma attack and should have gone to A&E or called for help. The doctor said the same thing too. I guess I just don't do hospitals. Micky told me to call the Doctors back today and speak to them as the medication is not really making much difference (well OK a little but I have been here before as this is now week eight).  

Intended to venture out this afternoon for my re-scheduled, re-scheduled chiropodist appointment. I would normally walk down there, but not today as

once again I caught the bus. I had to go to Boots (there's a surprise I hear you cry) and had to giggle as the guy on the Clinique counter had more make up on than me.  We had a chat and he said 'oh you have the most gorgeous eyes you know'.  I said to Andy when I got home, 'why can't I get a straight guy to tell me that' and his response was 'why can't I get a gay guy to say that to me' ...... touche. When I got home from my little trip to get my claws clipped I was exhausted. I am just getting so tired, but at least I knew I would sleep.  Storm in London this evening.  Andy loves them; I do not.  It always say it is because I was
born in the middle of one.  Like I said to him, it is OK if you have someone to cuddle up with.  He made it quite clear that he was not offering and I made it quite clear that I was not asking.  All is well.  The picture is of Doug the Pug and the statement that goes with this photo is:  'When it's storming and you have no one to cuddle with'.  Kind of summed up the evening's events.  The stormed passed much to Andy's disappointment and to my delight. I was ready for my lovely bed tonight.  I had a lovely surprise this afternoon. Olivier had sent me a postcard from St Ives.  I said how much I liked to receive a postcard - he said I was so retro! However, he sent me a card and it brightened my day.

Thursday:  I slept well last night; I was exhausted.  Penultimate day of steroids, but things have not really changed.  The Doctor called back and they have extended the steroids (sigh) and no return to work until I have some tests.  Ain't life great.  I was tired this afternoon.  I really need to get my energy back.  Quiet night laughing with Andy.  He really is a tonic.  Nice little text chat with Olivier who is continuing his tour of the South Coast of England. Alight for some I say.  I have told  him that I will go bat shit crazy if I do not leave this flat.  So he will probably stay in Devon :)

Friday: I was not due at work today anyway.  I had booked the day off weeks ago as Andy and I had decided to give ourselves a complete Series 5 of Game of Thrones day.  A duvet day.  Well that plan went out of the window as I had to go and get more drugs.  I have not washed my hair since Monday so just scooped it up in a clip, but some of my new make up on (which I am so pleased with still) and braved the mean streets of South East London! I said to Andy I want to be able to look this good on a date, I could not believe it.  Just goes to show.  

Went to the Doctors then to see my dear new friends in Boots and rang my friend Jackie in Stoke who is 33 today!  So she is only a few years older than me now.  We had a chat and a laugh (as we always do) and then I made my way back to the flat.  And so the marathon began.  As I type this we are on episode 6 and it is great. I just love the intrigue, politics, back stabbing and costumes.  Once again in London today we have all types of weather: sun, wind, rain and storms. As I look out of the window now as I type this, the sky is bright blue and The Shard is shining as the sun reflects off it. Yet a few hours ago you could not see the top of it because of the clouds ........ crazy!

So Game of Thrones marathon done and dusted (and very good it was) and so time for bed.  Had a lovely chat with a 'friend' who I have never met. We 'met' about four years ago and you know me, I collect people! Tonight I am feeling very blessed.

As always, with my love x

  

Every time I see you something happens to me. Like a chain reaction between you and me (Heart - Pet Shop Boys)

Another one of those songs that just makes you smile and smile.  I can remember this track when it come out and just fell in love with it.  You just have to smile and sing along. Oh and the video is rather special too.  As always, enjoy.

Saturday: It is really cold in London today.  I guess we were given that false hope of sunshine and warmth the other day and then nature repays us with it turning cold.  Today I went to the Imperial War Museum to see the Lee Miller Exhibition.  Lee Miller was the ultimate muse.  Starting her career as a successful model, who looked absolutely flawless; then becoming a successful fashion and war photographer. To say she had an amazing life would be a slight understatement.  The photographs were stunning.  If I could take just one photo as good as that in my lifetime I would be more than happy.  Iconic black and white prints. She paved the way for women, yet her son did not know of her photographic career during the war until after she died when he found the photographs boxed up in the attic. An amazing story of a very pioneering woman.

Walked to Waterloo station to Wasabi and got some lovely Japanese food for dinner.  I was going to go to the Southbank to get a couple of cards but to be honest, I was so cold and I also found what I was looking for in Foyles and Scrible at the station.  So I thought stuff it I wont bother.  I did pop into Boots to have a chat with the woman in there.  I started to use my new Boots Foundation and once again, just like the concealer, I have a dry skin patch under my eye.  She said that I can take both products back and they will refund me.  I was amazed and delighted to hear this news. I then went to the Clinque counter and discussed the situation with the woman there and they gave me a generous sample of a new foundation to try.

Back to the flat and I was still cold. Spent the rest of the afternoon blogging, paperwork and downloading an app for tomorrow's London Marathon. In the evening I watched the BBC's tribute to 400 years of Shakespeare like - that still makes me giggle.  It was so good. It was funny, classical, memorising, modern and innovative.  Andy come home and plonked himself on the end of my bed and was like a child at Christmas.  He had treated himself to a new board game and insisted on telling me all about it ....... sigh! Still at least he is happy.  I rounded off the evening chatting to Olivier who is visiting family in Cornwall and looking at some stunning photos and a video of St Ives that he filmed.  A good day.

Sunday:  I think you can cope with most things in life if you have sleep.  Last night I did not sleep. I was just coughing, coughing and coughing.  I have diagnosed myself now with asthma and will be telling the GP this tomorrow morning at my next, sigh, appointment.  I am puffing away on my inhaler aka crack pipe as I like to call it, morning, noon and night and not a damn thing. I eventually slept around 4.00am and subsequently did not get up in time to go to Trews for mediation - damn cough.

Andy and I had breakfast and he did make me laugh.  I know he is restless at night; let's face it, I have 'slept' with him so many times and to date, he still is the youngest guy I have 'slept' with.  Anyway, he told me that he vaguely remembered in his sleep and then found out to be true when he woke up, that he had got out of bed and took down a picture from his wall! I mean, really. Oh I was laughing and laughing this morning.  The stupid idiot.

We sat and watched some of the London Marathon which always reminds me that the majority of people are kind and good; we only get to hear about the ones who are not.  Showered and dressed and I caught the bus (I would have normally walked) to Temple and cheered on the runners as they passed me by. Eventually, I saw my friend Hannah go by and a shouted and shouted and she heard me and turned and waved and waved.  I felt so proud. Then about 20 minutes later her sister Emma went by. Once again I shouted and Emma heard me and turned and waved and smiled and blew kisses.  I felt so, so proud of the pair of them.  It was amazing.  Then something totally inspiring happened. A young guy run past then stopped right by me.  I then noticed that he had a prosthetic limb. He sat on the kerb, took the limb off, then the bandages and rubbed his stump, redressed his leg, put the prosthetic limb back on and run off. I felt totally speechless.  People are amazing.  People are kind and people are good.  We need to be reminded of this at times.  The Marathon fills my heart with joy.  I used to watch it every year on the TV and still cannot believe I am able to go and watch it.  The atmosphere is brilliant. People are smiling and encouraging people; there is so much love.  If only every day could be a Marathon day ........... well OK apart from the running!

I caught the bus home (again I would have normally walked but so wheezy) and Andy had four friends over to play the said new board game, which for any of you who are slightly interested is Battle Star Galactica. Yep! I am saying nothing and are just grateful that he realises I have no interest whatsoever in learning to play it.  So here I am in my room, listening to music and writing cards and doing some online shopping.   Not a bad weekend, just wish I was feeling better.  I guess we shall see what the Doctor says tomorrow.

As always, with my love x

Ask me why I'll say it's most unusual. How can I even try to explain why today I feel like dancing singing like lovers sing, when I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing? (I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing - The Pet Shop Boys)

Well the girl has go to try to optimistic on a Monday morning.  Another Pet Shop Boys song that just make me want to sing and dance and let's face it, I need all the help I can get on a Monday morning.  As always, enjoy.

Monday:  Strange thing happened this morning.  There were parrots outside of my bedroom window.  Yes you did read that right and no, I have not been drinking (I wish I had it might get rid of this bloody virus).  I could hear a noise going on and I guess something must have sub-consciously told me to go and have a look and when I did, there were around six parrots squawking and singing in the tree.  I could not believe my eyes.  When I was in Australia you always saw them and I know there are parrots in the west of London but really, where I live.  Needless to say, it brightened up my day.  9.00-6.00 (yes you did read that right) done and back home and the evening went really quick.


Tuesday:  So feeling a bit smug today.  Two things. One I shall kind of share; the other I will not.  Something that happened last week that I thought would come to nothing has actually resulted in a kind of a success ......... well actually in hindsight that statement sort of fits the two things.  I shall park that there.  But feeling very happy.

Beautiful day in London.  Tonight I am off to the theatre and I am a bit anxious about it because of this damn cough.  It is my local little theatre (I do like it there) but I will go but sit by the doors and if I have a coughing fit I will just have to leave.  Fingers crossed.

The play was at my lovely Southwark Playhouse. I just love this theatre.  The play was called Darknet and it explored the relationship between individuals and the information they share on platforms just like this in return for a credit rating and currency.  However, you soon realise that not everyone is prepared to sacrifice their personal life by sharing information and like most things in life, there is always a dark side. It was so good. I loved the set which had a great deal of interaction with technology.  There was one line that really hit home and fortunately I have been able to find it.  So think about this one folks as you open your laptop, Ipad or phone and read this:

"You're not even a fully formed person yet.  Your face is still changing and your bones are still growing but already there's a detailed map of your personality out there and companies you've never heard of are getting rich off it."

On the way home I found an American family of four lost (as one does).  I got chatting to them and they are here for a few days from Colorado before travelling to Europe.  They were looking for a grocery store.  Straight away I thought of that blood grocery card ......... aka shopping trolley (read previous blog from last year to see what I am going on about).  They also wanted Chinese food so I suggested that they downloaded the Just Eat App to their phone and order some to be delivered to their hotel.  They were very pleasant and I do still like it when they call me Ma'am! 

Wednesday:  Beautiful morning and I was in work for 8.30 leaving at 5.30 (again). Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, my plans for the evening were cancelled.  It cannot be helped and these things happened. Met Andy at Tescos and we, well he had decided to cook dinner.  He created a lovely pasta based dish with veg for me and chicken and veg for him.  I used the evening to do some research on something I needed to know a bit more about and then watching Master Chef.  Why oh why do these people put themselves through it I ask myself.  I cannot believe either that Wednesday has almost been and gone.

Thursday:  Interesting day today.  However,  I am not at liberty to share at the moment.  But what I can say is that I have met some really interesting people the past week or so and it just restores my faith in human kindness.

The news that Prince had died (after yesterday's news of the death of Victoria Wood).  It was kind of ironic that Prince died on the Queen's 90th birthday, just after the death of the Duke (Bowie).  I liked what I liked of Prince's music. I thought he was a strange little man but immensely talented.  I think the thing that scared me was the fact that he was a couple of years older than me!  It really has been a terrible year for the loss of great and unique talent.

Last night I had a terrible night's sleep.  Cough, cough bloody cough.  I am now thinking this is asthmatic and will be ringing the Doctors (again) tomorrow morning at 8.00 to get an appointment to get run this past them. Andy was suppose to be out tonight but he was tired and cancelled. We just chilled (and coughed) and I took an anti histamine at 21:00 and was safe in the arms of Orpheus by 22:00.    

Friday:  Oh how I have that Friday feeling today.  Not that I am actually doing anything.  I was going to walk down the Southbank but it rained.  So it was a night in, sorting out finances and doing necessary paperwork. You know how it is. Still not feeling 100%, far from it but I will rally round this weekend as I am going to see my dear friends Emma and Hannah run in the London Marathon. Hannah is running for Lepra and Emma is running for Shuktara.  If you are able to make a donation to either of these worthwhile causes, I know the girls would be over the moon:

https://www.justgiving.com/Hannah-Kokoschka

https://www.justgiving.com/Emma-D-Arcey

As always, with my love x

When I look back upon my life it's always with a sense of shame I've always been the one to blame. For everything I long to do no matter when or where or who has one thing in common too. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin (It's A Sin - The Pet Shop Boys)

What can I say about this one! I guess the first line speaks volumes.  You just can't help but sing along (again).  So I have been in London a year and what a year it has been.  I know I have said it before, but I have not always made the best decisions in my life, but this one was the best.  I have had a blast. OK I still have my bad days and every day I miss my Meg even more, but I have a life and it is good.  So in the words of the Pet Shop Boys: Everything I've ever done, everything I ever do, every place I've ever been, everywhere I'm going to ...... It's a sin ......... Well hopefully! As always, enjoy!

Saturday:  What can I say? I was intending going to the Imperial War Museum today to see an exhibition I have been wanting to see since November and it finishes next week.  But once again, it was a grey and wet day in London. Housework done in the flat and I had to catch up on my blog and balance my bank account.

Decided eventually to stay in today.  The weather was not very good and I was cold; which let's face it makes a change from being hot.  Slept for part of the day, oh I read such an exciting life.  I had a lovely text chat and listened to some music and read my book. So all and all not a bad day.

Sunday:  Beautiful blue skied morning as I made my way to the bus stop.  I walked along the Regent Canal and there were so many people out so early.  As I was early I sat on the wall watching the joggers go round and round (name that song). I would have sworn that I heard someone call my name and look around and there was no one there.  This happened a couple of times and then I saw it was Andre who attends the meet up group. It was so funny, he got me a treat. We had a chat and made our way to the cafe.  The girls, as always, were so pleased to see me (as I have not been for a week) and the place soon filled up.  

Meditation at Trews just sets me up for the day, I love it there.  After mediation I caught up with Hannah and Emma who are running in the London Marathon next week.  Let me tell you a little bit about that. 


Hannah is running for Lepra and you can find her just giving page at: 

www.justgiving.com/Hannah-Kokosch





Emma is running for a charity called Shuktara and you can find her at:

www.justgiving.com/Emma-D-Arcey



Both Emma and Hannah have put in so much hard work for the marathon and both charities do some amazing work and help those in our world who often just get overlooked.  If you are able to sponsor them, no matter how small, please, please look at their just giving pages.  These two sisters are amazing and a true inspiration, so please take a look - thank you.  I had a good old girlie giggle with Emma and Hannah and left the cafe feeling good.

I was going to get the Overground but it was closed so I decided to get the replacement bus service.  I had plenty of time and the bus took me to some parts of London I have not been in years.  I felt like I was on a mystery tour, but I also saw some great buildings that I need to go back and take some photos of.

Shopping done and back to the flat and I was exhausted.  I cannot tell you how tired I was.  I really could have fallen asleep, but I did not.   However, I was snug in bed for 21:00 and really do not remember seeing 22:00 on the clock.  All rock and roll my friends, all rock and roll.

As always, with my love x

I could leave you, say goodbye. Or I could love you, if I try and I could. And left to my own devices, I probably would (Left To My Own Devices - The Pet Shop Boys)

I don't think I have chosen the Pet Shop Boys specifically for their lyrics, but also for their tunes.  You have to smile when you hear them.  Even when it is grey outside and you hear this song, you have to smile.  As always, enjoy!

Monday:  Still not feeling 100% and not feeling the love for the 9.00-5.00, however it's done now.  Went for a walk after work, I needed to check something out.  I wanted to be sure that I was going in the right direction and asked a lovely woman and ended up having a good old natter.  People, stereotypically think 'Southerners' are rude, but I do not see this.  OK, most people in London are in a rush, the city flows and moves continually.  But you get these little pockets of interaction.  I went to Superdrug on the way home and always I was told 'have a great evening'. I like it.

Quiet night, usual stuff.  We watched (as we always do, well I do, Andy has no choice) University Challenge and I got a big fat 6 and Andy 0.  Ironically, the first question I got was about a naked man ........ I am saying nothing. The question was about the Twickenham Streaker - the first time this happened. I remembered this picture.  However, I then felt rather old as Andy was not even a speck in the Universe. We decided that the contestants must be really boring and not the type to be holding up the Student Union Bar.

Tuesday:  Beautiful, warm day in London.  I have been spoilt.  Not that I have seen much of it.  Still not much longer and I will busy myself with a walk down to the Southbank after work.  Out the door at 5.00pm tonight and I wanted to cook.  So I prepared our salads for lunch tomorrow then cooked a rather nice (even if I say so myself) mushroom and pea risotto.  I treat.  Busy tonight getting things ready for tomorrow.  Not able to share with you my friends what this is but maybe later in the week.  

Wednesday:  Difficult day today for so many reasons.  I was having an I miss Meg day.  I cannot tell you how the grief just washes over me. I hate it. I hate the way it makes me feel and the fact that I have no control over it.  I went to bed at 6.30pm.  I am still not feeling well and that does not help.  Tomorrow will be better.

Thursday: Doctor's appointment, the third, booked for Friday at 9.00am.  9-5 was so challenging today (again) well it was more like the 8.30-5.30 but you know what I mean.  Lazy night tonight.  Both Andy and I are just zoning out. We just watched another episode of Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie. I laughed so much that ended up in a coughing fit.  Tomorrow is Friday and this weekend, even if it kills me, I am going to be doing something.  Not sure what as yet, but watch this space.

Friday:  GP's first thing and she was lovely.  I feel like I am getting to meet all the Doctors in the practice!  She has no idea what is wrong and that is quite worrying now.  Stronger antibiotics with horrendous side effects and a trip to the hospital.  Went to work and said I was taking the afternoon off to go to Guy's. It is strange as I feel really reassured when I go to Guy's.  I know it is because of the care and love they gave my Dad and I kind of feel that my Dad is with me there.  X-ray done and I popped in the Chapel to light a candle for my Dad and I had the afternoon free.  Now at any other time this would be great, but today in London to say it was raining would be an understatement.  

I caught the tube from London Bridge up to Bond Street.  I needed a new umbrella as mine had broken so that and a new lipstick later I decided to go and get a coffee.  I went to the Illy cafe near the BBC studios.  It really is lovely there.  I decided to have a flat white and was sitting there reading the Standard. I noticed a guy come in who was not dressed like others in the cafe and he was counting out lots of change on the counter.  My Dad used to say that I had as sign over my head that only 'special' people can see; this guy saw that sign. He asked if he could just sit at the table with me whilst the staff changed up his change for a £20 note. I said sure.  The staff looked and asked I was OK with this and I said sure.

His name was Daniel and he told me he was 34 and come from Essex.  He said he was homeless and comes up west to beg for change. I asked him if he would like a drink and he had a coke.  I said to the staff that I would pay for it. We sat and had such a lovely chat.  I did have to smile.  He told me that his mum was 'an unfit mother' and he had to go and live with his Nan when he was small. He then said that it didn't matter as his Mum was still his Mum.  I could physically feel my heart lurch.  We sat and chatted for about 20 minutes and I asked him if I could take his photo as I blog.  He gave the biggest smile ever and then he was gone.  It was so funny as you could see all the City type blokes in the cafe physically move away, but listening to our conversation. People are so strange.


The rain had not stopped and I walked down Regent Street to Shaftesbury Avenue.  Tonight I had a date, not with Daniel lol.  I was meeting someone that I shall call Olivier. We met at the Picturehouse Cafe.  I always inwardly smile when dating in London.  The venues are always brilliant and like I have said before, it is not like meeting under the clock in Hanley!

The cafe was amazing and I would like to go back again and take some photos. However, I have taken a photo off the internet for this blog.  I had a lovely evening and we were both chatting (well probably me more, but you know what I am like) for five hours!  He is really interesting person with plenty of fascinating stories as well as someone who travels. Time to go and we said our goodbyes at Piccadilly and I went to get my bus.  We both said that we would like to meet up again. So watch this space!

Back home and a quick catch up with Andy and then bed.  I could not sleep as I had so much caffeine but eventually, well around 2.00am, got to sleep.  Apart from this damn cough, all is well.

As always, with my love x

Maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I should. Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could. Little things I should've said and done, I never took the time. You were always on my mind. You were always on my mind (Always On My Mind - The Pet Shop Boys)

Some of you may think of Elvis when you hear this song; I guess I do as well. So as always, enjoy.

Saturday:  Did I sleep well? Yes. Do I feel better? No.

I chose this song for the weekend's blog as I know I am not going to have much to write about and as I have been alone for most of the week I have been doing that one thing that I really should not really do ........ think about the past. However, I have surprised myself this time.  Andy and I had that chat about 6-8 weeks ago and it has made me look at my previous situation in an entirely different light.  OK I am still processing it but I think, no I know, it has really helped.  All is well.

Timehop has a spooky way of reminding me about events that I really do not want to be remembered about, couple this with MTV random music videos and the Universe is talking to me.  Last night I was channel hopping the music channels (as one does) and I come across Eminem and I had to smile.  When my daughter was little and much to her father's annoyance, she proudly used to sing 'I'm Slim Shady, the real Slim Shady' word for word but she could not say the word onion as in 'working in Burger King, spitting on the onion rings' and she pronounced onion as ongniong.  It is funny how as song can just make you smile.  Yes, I did a good job as a parent and that is where she gets her love of music from.

Spring is on her way

Trip to the supermarket with Andy and back home.  We had a bet on the National. We lost. He was out today so I was home alone and I must not be well as I was not going stir crazy!  I found Broadchurch and that was it.  Zone out doing nothing, well apart from coughing and watching David Tenannt, who ironically took his name from Neil Tennant from the Pet Shop Boys.  Spooky little fact there. Yet another lazy day ..... sigh.

Sunday:  Well I awoke to a blue skied morning.  Albeit it photos sent from a friend from Washington of some of the beautiful trees and gardens there.  We really do live in such a small world now.  It still amazes me that with a click of a button we can share information around the world, instantaneously!  For what it is worth, they do not rate Washington (this is the one in the States by the way) at all.  They describe it is a soulless and just a machine.  I can understand that. A city that cannot be bothered to give their streets a name kind of says a lot.

No meditation for me this morning.  I did not sleep well and thought well if I wake up I will go.  I did not wake up in time.  It is a shame, as I love my Sunday mornings but sometimes you just have to do what is best.  So not much to report really.  Pottered around which is a good sign I am beginning to feel better as I did some cleaning and any of you who know me know how I have to clean.  I guess it is that Virgo thing!   

Tom and Lynda!

Andy and Karen lol ...... slight difference!

So another chilled out day. I am feeling better. I am feeling a lot better and this is good. I am really going to do so many things next weekend in celebration of feeling well.  There is an exhibition I need to see, a coffee date I am excited to keep and I need to see my friends at my mediation group.  Andy and I sat and watched an episode of Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie today.  It was so funny. Especially with Lynda La Hughes aka the amazing and so talented Kathy Burke screamed at Tom that she was only 28! As you know my friends, I am only 29! We laughed and laughed.  It was like seeing certain aspects of your life being played out on the TV.  It is true what they say, laughter is the best medicine.

As always, with my love X

Sooner or later, this happens to everyone. To everyone. You can live your life lonely, heavy as stone. Live your life learning and working alone (Love Comes Quickly - The Pet Boys)

Love comes quickly ......... well so say the Pet Shop Boys.  But I think it is like panning for gold.  I was having this conversation with a friend on Sunday.  She was telling me about her new online dating adventure .... sigh!  She has paid a subscription for this one, so she is expecting more.  But like I said to her you spend ages in that stream, looking for gold.  Then you think hey I have found one. Yet it turns out to be just fool's gold.  Story of my life I guess.  So much effort for such little reward.  But what can you do? If you don't put yourself out there, the gold ain't going to find you my friend. However, I shall draw on the lyrics of this song and remind myself: 'I know it sounds ridiculous but speaking from experience, it may seem romantic and that's no defence - love will always get to you'.  As always, enjoy!

Monday:  Terrible nights sleep.  There is something fundamentally wrong when you wake on a Monday morning and your first thought is 'I'm going straight to bed tonight when I get in!'.  I probably wont but it is not a good sign is it?

The Universe was challenging me today. I mean challenging me. By 16:15 I had enough. Various points throughout the day I could have just sat and sobbed. But what is the point? I rang the Doctors and was told someone would call me back.  I told my Boss I was going home. I left.

GP called and we discussed the options available and he has prescribed steroids. I hate taking them.  I had to take them about six years ago when I was so poorly and I cannot remember the side effects (I think it is fatigue and just feeling really off) but I remember it was not good.  Andy, bless him, waited at the chemist for the GP to mail of the script and he then come home.  I really do not know what I would do without that boy. OK I would get on with it, of course I would, but I hate this feeling of being totally unwell.  We ate our evening meal and I took my six tablets (yes six) and promptly went to bed at 20:00.  Andy thinks I should not go to work tomorrow; I don't want to go, but I will, because I have to.  I will take myself off somewhere else in my head, isolate myself from my environment and remind myself this time will pass.

Tuesday:  Terrible nights sleep resulting in me taking the remainder of my TOIL this afternoon to spend in bed, alone, asleep! However, I am starting to feel slightly better so fingers crossed. Nothing else to report really.  I spent the afternoon and evening in my room reading, catching up on emails and listening to some really lovely soothing music someone recommended to me.  All is well.

Wednesday:  You must be as bored reading this as I am typing it.  4 hours

sleep. Enough. I have been to chemist and got some antihistamine, the ones that make you drowsy.  Tonight I will sleep.  I have congratulated myself by not actually ripping anyone's head off at the 9.00-5.00 so far this week.  So not all is lost.  Also, had some great news later on this afternoon.  But more on that later next week.

So guess what? Weekend plans cancelled again! Dinner already for when Andy comes in and another night, probably in my room, chilling and feeling sorry for myself.  Yay! 

Thursday:  The drug induced sleep worked! No work however for me today. I am finally listening to Andy and myself.  I dragged myself in yesterday as I had two appointments with clients yesterday and those of you who know me know that I do not like letting people down; neither of my clients turned up! I think that was the final straw.  So here I am, in bed. I cannot take any more antihistamine at the moment as just took steroids, which now are making me so dizzy.  It is such a horrible feeling.  Ain't life just a ball!

Friday:  Sigh! Last of the steroids and still coughing.  I rang the GPs and they gave me an appointment for an hour later. I have to say it. I am very impressed with my surgery here.  Considering I am living in Central London, I always get an appointment.  I had a fantastic GP in Staffordshire and I was so sad to see him go, but I cannot complain here. OK I don't have the same relationship, but all and all the service is good.

A bag of drugs later ....... more steroids, antibiotics and an inhaler, back home in bed.  I fell asleep all afternoon.  You know what it is like.  You are watching some rubbish on the TV and you start to feel yourself drift and boom.  Two hours later have passed.  This tells me I am not well.  I never do this.  So fingers crossed I will have something more interesting to write about before long as I am beginning to think this blog is sounding like an episode from Holby City!

As always, with my love x

What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this? Since you went away, I have been hanging around, I have been wondering why I'm feeling down (What Have I done To Deserve This? - The Pet Shop Boys)

How many of you actually sung this? I bet you got half way though the title and started to sing.  You have to love the Pet Shop boys. Mind you, it has been 30 years, yes 30 years since their released their first album.  How old do I feel now? They have had some cracking songs and still continue to bash out a good tune.  So we shall start April with this one.  I always smile when I hear the Pet Shop Boys.  When my daughter was born she never slept. I used to stand, most afternoons, by the window in our lounge, Megan in my arms listening to the Pet Shop Boy's CD Very.  I knew, that if she was not asleep by the end of the third track I would be putting her in her pram and we would be out, then she would sleep. As always, enjoy!

Saturday:  Beautiful Spring morning in London. I had a lazy start as I still do not feel well .... grrrrr! I am so tired of typing that line.  Did my ironing and put the vacuum round, boiled my head. Well put my head over a bowl of hot water! Then got a grip and decided I am going out!

Why didn't someone remind me it was half term! I made my way to Marble Arch as I needed to take some shoes back and do some stuff.  Marble Arch is like being in Doha Airport.  I swear there are more Arabs in Marble Arch than there are at the Airport.  Treated myself to a new blouse and took a pair of shoes back (again). Mooched around, got some Wasabi for my dinner and back home, rather tired, on the bus.  That is the trouble when you are not feeling 100% you just get so tired.

Lazy evening.  Like I said, I should have been at the theatre but there was no point going if all I was going to do was cough and splutter.  So a quiet night in (again), catching up on paperwork and generally kicking back.  However, I am feeling slightly better ................ fingers crossed.

Sunday:  Well as you know I am a 'young', single woman living in London and I thought you would like to see what action my bedroom sees these days! So

brace yourself.  This is how Andy found me this morning. We were talking through the door (as we do) and I said that he could come in as I was decent. Little did I know that he took this photo! Such a wild and exciting life I lead in London.

Beautiful, blue skied, sunny morning as I made way up to Trew Era.  I had to smile as my bus had to take a different route and we ended up going pass the local GU clinic (as you do). This clinic is open on a Sunday morning (as it does) and I could not believe how many people there were, queuing up at 9.30 in the morning, waiting for it to open.  I guess it is a positive thing as at least people are taking their sexual health seriously.  But there are many Churches who would like that number walking through their doors on a Sunday.

I walked along the Regent's canal to the cafe and received a lovely, warm welcome from the staff.  Georgia greeted me with a pot of my tea and I sat and

Hannah, Paul and Emma

waited for the others to arrive. Medication was, as always, wonderful, then I had the wonderful Greek salad as prepared by Michelle and Gary was there to lend a hand serving the food.  I so love this little oasis I have found.  After meditation I decided, as it was such a lovely day, to go to Brick Lane and have a look around. So we said our goodbyes to Paul and I walked down through Shoreditch with Hannah and Emma.  We were chatting away and enjoying the sunshine and I just love Hannah's glasses.  How cool are they.  I did tell her not to leave them lying around.

We said our goodbyes at Liverpool Street and I had a look around Spitalfield's Market then made my way along Brick Lane.  London was so alive today; it was

buzzing.  I know I have said it before, but my Sundays in London are completely different to how they were in Stoke.  I never used to see a soul and now I am out and about and just taking in the vibe.  I passed the old Truman Brewery, which is no longer a brewery but a creative hub and a place that houses a market on a Sunday.  It was full of hipsters, boys with beards, boys with bikes, boys with bobbles. Oh I do like London.  Took myself off for a coffee and did my favourite thing of watching the world go by, then Andy rang me to say he had finished his lunch date (no pudding and no further date but a friend).  So I walked back up to Shoreditch High Street and caught a bus towards home.

On the bus home I noticed this wonderful piece of metal work that was at a local school.  I thought it was pretty amazing.  So this afternoon was food shopping. We had to go.  On my shelf in the fridge there was a jar with a few olives in it and half a bag of fresh spaghetti. Now I can be creative in the kitchen but there is very little I can do with that.  Neither of us felt the love for the supermarket shop, but needs must.  Back home, shopping put away it was coughing and chill out time again.  We took advantage of our new Sky package (and our lovely new TV) to watch a few episodes of Game of Thrones.  I had seen this series but wanted to watch a couple of the last episodes just to bring me back up to scratch with what was going on.  Which was easy really as it consisted of death, death and more death. 

Finished the evening watching MTV 80s Karaoke Night - what a scream!  I learnt that the Proclaimers were twins. OK I knew they were brothers but not twins. But I thought the same of Bros lol so nothing new there.  I can be so dense at times.  Then we had a bit of Salt and Pepper - Push It.  Oh those lovely sunny days in Newquay with the Girlie Glees.  Now I am croaking out Don't Leave Me This Way.  The 80s were so good (in my opinion) even though Andy wasn't born for half of it, I mean really! Looked what he missed. I have told Andy that we need to be going dancing next week.  I don't mind dancing with the gays, they have good music and the last time I went to a gay night club (GAY in Soho) I coped a snog lol.  Only I could pull in a gay night club with a man I hasten to add.  I have told him we need to get incredibly drunk, dance like we don't care (well we don't any way), then stagger home with some chips lol.  How old lol!

As always, with my love x

And all of my life no one gave me anything, no one have ever given me anything, my love is as sharp as a needle in your eye, you must be such a fool to pass me by (Seasick, Yet Still Docked - Morrissey)

So another week commences; but only a four day week!  This song is not one of Morrissey's well known.  That aside, Andy had never even heard Every Day Seems Like Sunday! I did say I would have to have a word with his mother and see what upbringing he really did have.  I like the lyrics for this one (there's a surprise).  So this is the last track from The Smiths/Morrissey.  Next month we shall be having something completely different ............ I bet you can't wait.  As always, enjoy!

Tuesday:  Here we are again back on the hamster's wheel.  However, my day took a turn for the better where, out of the blue, I received a text message from my friend McBeal.  You may recall him back in January.  He is now working and living back in China and just dropped me a line to say hello and how was I.  How lovely.  I was not expecting it, but we said we would keep in touch.  It is strange as the past few days I have travelled the world: Daniel - Cambodia, Sarah - Chile and McBeal - China.  The three Cs. How mad is that.

Back home and Andy has been off all day as we were having Sky installed. There had been a few hiccups around keys to the back door and stuff, but by the time I got home there was a happy Andy and there he was downloading the box sets of Game of Thrones we had not seen.  We are going to book a day off work (I have loads of annual leave) and watch the whole of Series 5, because we can.  Lovely dinner cooked by Andy of salmon in a sesame seed sauce with vegetables and stir fry.  

Not my nose, but a similar stud

I had ordered some new nose studs off eBay.  So armed with yet another You Tube video and Andy, who is left handed and did not have a clue, I endeavoured to remove original stud and to put in a lovely new one with a star on it.  Oh my. What a drama.  However, with a bit of team work and not much blood, the new stud is duly fitted and looks rather nice.  I hate to tell him I have ordered loads and intend changing them quite often. On a positive note, at least this time my nose is not resembling Sir Alex Ferguson's nose.  It has been a good day.

Death by consumption

Wednesday: I told Andy that I think I have consumption! He reminded me that Satine, the main character in Moulin Rouge died from consumption, but before she did, she managed to do a whole show at the Moulin Rouge. Sigh. Quiet night tonight as I have the flat all to myself so I am looking on Sky and still deciding that there is still nothing of interest to watch! But the whole package is costing us absolutely nothing for a year so meh who cares.

Thursday:  Not the best of days with the 9.00-5.00; but not the worse either. Home early tonight as our Landlady was coming over to renewal our lease. Yes, I will be staying in London. She had a look around our flat and was so pleased with how we have it. I was pleased she was pleased.  Andy was feeling a bit flat too so we caved in (it never took much) and ordered pizza and zoned out watching Game of Thrones.  Sometimes you just have to let it all go.  

Friday:  You know when there is something not quite right when you are showered and in bed (alone!) by 6.00pm.  I just cannot shrug off this virus.  I feel awful and I am sick and tired of having boring weekends.  I should be at the theatre tomorrow night, but once again, I have had to cancel it. All I have done all day (and night) is cough, cough, cough. In the end, it really gets you down. I am trying not to let it but this has been almost four weeks now.  Still, this time will pass. I just wish it would hurry up!

As always, with my love x