Sooner or later, this happens to everyone. To everyone. You can live your life lonely, heavy as stone. Live your life learning and working alone (Love Comes Quickly - The Pet Boys)

Love comes quickly ......... well so say the Pet Shop Boys.  But I think it is like panning for gold.  I was having this conversation with a friend on Sunday.  She was telling me about her new online dating adventure .... sigh!  She has paid a subscription for this one, so she is expecting more.  But like I said to her you spend ages in that stream, looking for gold.  Then you think hey I have found one. Yet it turns out to be just fool's gold.  Story of my life I guess.  So much effort for such little reward.  But what can you do? If you don't put yourself out there, the gold ain't going to find you my friend. However, I shall draw on the lyrics of this song and remind myself: 'I know it sounds ridiculous but speaking from experience, it may seem romantic and that's no defence - love will always get to you'.  As always, enjoy!

Monday:  Terrible nights sleep.  There is something fundamentally wrong when you wake on a Monday morning and your first thought is 'I'm going straight to bed tonight when I get in!'.  I probably wont but it is not a good sign is it?

The Universe was challenging me today. I mean challenging me. By 16:15 I had enough. Various points throughout the day I could have just sat and sobbed. But what is the point? I rang the Doctors and was told someone would call me back.  I told my Boss I was going home. I left.

GP called and we discussed the options available and he has prescribed steroids. I hate taking them.  I had to take them about six years ago when I was so poorly and I cannot remember the side effects (I think it is fatigue and just feeling really off) but I remember it was not good.  Andy, bless him, waited at the chemist for the GP to mail of the script and he then come home.  I really do not know what I would do without that boy. OK I would get on with it, of course I would, but I hate this feeling of being totally unwell.  We ate our evening meal and I took my six tablets (yes six) and promptly went to bed at 20:00.  Andy thinks I should not go to work tomorrow; I don't want to go, but I will, because I have to.  I will take myself off somewhere else in my head, isolate myself from my environment and remind myself this time will pass.

Tuesday:  Terrible nights sleep resulting in me taking the remainder of my TOIL this afternoon to spend in bed, alone, asleep! However, I am starting to feel slightly better so fingers crossed. Nothing else to report really.  I spent the afternoon and evening in my room reading, catching up on emails and listening to some really lovely soothing music someone recommended to me.  All is well.

Wednesday:  You must be as bored reading this as I am typing it.  4 hours

sleep. Enough. I have been to chemist and got some antihistamine, the ones that make you drowsy.  Tonight I will sleep.  I have congratulated myself by not actually ripping anyone's head off at the 9.00-5.00 so far this week.  So not all is lost.  Also, had some great news later on this afternoon.  But more on that later next week.

So guess what? Weekend plans cancelled again! Dinner already for when Andy comes in and another night, probably in my room, chilling and feeling sorry for myself.  Yay! 

Thursday:  The drug induced sleep worked! No work however for me today. I am finally listening to Andy and myself.  I dragged myself in yesterday as I had two appointments with clients yesterday and those of you who know me know that I do not like letting people down; neither of my clients turned up! I think that was the final straw.  So here I am, in bed. I cannot take any more antihistamine at the moment as just took steroids, which now are making me so dizzy.  It is such a horrible feeling.  Ain't life just a ball!

Friday:  Sigh! Last of the steroids and still coughing.  I rang the GPs and they gave me an appointment for an hour later. I have to say it. I am very impressed with my surgery here.  Considering I am living in Central London, I always get an appointment.  I had a fantastic GP in Staffordshire and I was so sad to see him go, but I cannot complain here. OK I don't have the same relationship, but all and all the service is good.

A bag of drugs later ....... more steroids, antibiotics and an inhaler, back home in bed.  I fell asleep all afternoon.  You know what it is like.  You are watching some rubbish on the TV and you start to feel yourself drift and boom.  Two hours later have passed.  This tells me I am not well.  I never do this.  So fingers crossed I will have something more interesting to write about before long as I am beginning to think this blog is sounding like an episode from Holby City!

As always, with my love x