Do you Do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful? 'Cause there's a hole where your soul should be You're losing control of it and it's really distasteful (Fuck You - Lily Allen)

This song makes me giggle.  I think it is because it basically says ... Fuck You!  I have said that quite about the past week so this song really had to be used somewhere before the month come to an end.  If you offended, get over it!  As always, enjoy!

Saturday:  When I woke up this morning I was cold.  Winter is here.  Today I was going to visit my one family member who I have any contact with.  My Auntie; my Dad's sister.  Of course there were no trains this weekend due to engineering. Which meant my journey consisted of three buses which took around two hours to get there.  I was so cold when I arrived, but her home was lovely and snug.

It was good to see her and she is so happy when I visit. I will try harder next year to go more often. We had a lovely lunch and a chat and then it was time for me to make tracks home. My Auntie walked me to the bus stop, even though I was insisting that I would find it and we said our goodbyes.  I always get so sad at these occasions. I have no family as such.  A couple of cousins, a brother who is well, who is America and I have not seen for many years and my Aunt. Sometimes it feels that I am so alone in this big wide world and if I were to disappear, who would actually miss me.

Back home, heating on and pizza ordered.  This is not a good time of year for me, for so many reasons.  I love Christmas, the magic of it; yet it brings home to me too many sad memories.  I decided that I would have pizza and Netflix and be dammed.  And dammed I was; I fell asleep and woke myself up numerous time snoring like a great big fat pig.



Sunday:  Meditation this morning and not good news.  The cafe is no longer under the care of Russel Brand and will no longer be serving just vegan and vegetarian food. This is not good. Only four of us at mediation too.  Not feeling the love.  However, what I do like about East London is how arty it is. I come across this canvas, just nailed to the wall and it made me smile.  There are lots of these little gems around; you just need to keep your eyes open. I thought this one was quite apt to be honest.  I walked along the canal towards Angel and decided that I would do a bit of Christmas shopping.  There, I have said it.  Purchased my cards and some chocolates from Paul A Young, my favourites, to give to the person who gave us our free tickets to The Shard on Friday.  A few more bits and bobs and I was too cold, so made my way home again.

Andy has three of his friends over this afternoon to play a board game. His friends are so, so lovely and they always say hello and make a fuss over me. One of them made the most delicious banana bread.  I felt a small victory had been won as I got the 'knob' end of the cake and said that I got the 'knob' and not four gay men!  They really are a lovely group of people and I love them to bits. I stayed in my room, updating my blog and catching up on other things.  Bath Tub gin (my favourite) duly ordered along with amending the Tesco order to add Fever Tree tonic water.  It is getting a bit like Christmas.  I will go back to Paul A Young chocolates at Camden Passage in a fortnight and get a box of his delicious chocolates.  However, I will have to find a new Netflix box set to watch as I am two thirds through The Crown already.   

I forgot to mention that we have some new art work across the road from our flat. It highlights how long it takes on a Boris bike to get to different parts of London.  I don't know who did the timings but according to the statues, it takes 15 minutes to cycle to Shoreditch.  I think Lance Armstrong would be hard pushed to do that in 15 minutes! Especially, as they say it takes 10 minutes to get to Waterloo! However, good to see something new in the neighbourhood.

So another weekend comes to an end.  Now it is all downhill to those 24 hours a year that really test me. But in the immortal words of good old Gloria ...... I will survive!

As always, with my love x 

And all the things you never said Or didn’t have the strength to say And everything you ever did That time won’t ever wash away Fears that you’ve been livin’ with Have gone and left their trace Tears that you’ve been livin’ with Come runnin’ down your face Runnin’ down your face When the hurtin’ time begins…(The Hurting Time - Annie Lennox)

The good thing about Bridget is she has been there, done it and has the soundtrack to reflect it.  This song is so appropriate at the moment. It is such a beautiful song with wonderful, meaningful words.  As always, enjoy ...... oh and thank you Bridget x

Monday: New dawn, new day and all that!  It is strange, well not really, that when I am feeling sensitive I always have nightmares about living in that house. Last night was no exception. The detail was so accurate, even down his mother's bloody dining room table. The Universe is, once again, testing me. I am tired of it all now.  This morning, this appeared on my Timehop.  Of course it did, why are you even surprised. I guess at least my life gives all you lot a good laugh if nothing else.  

Tuesday:  Today it happened! I was standing in Costa Coffee when I heard it.  George Michael singing Last Christmas! It is November. My eyes rolled.  This evening I took a walk down memory lane.  I was invited to the Alley Cat Cub in Denmark Street in Soho.  Denmark Street has always been home to musicians but, like many places in London, it is now being redeveloped (properly into more flats that no one can afford). So why was I there? When I was 15-19 I used to babysit for the child of someone who my Dad worked with.  I used to look after him every Thursday night whilst his Mum and Dad went out and occasionally on a Saturday. Me, being me, always took him  Mr Man book and I think eventually he had the whole set.  Tonight I was going to see him again for the first time! It was so lovely to see Paul who is a musician, after all these years. I did feel a tad old to say the least.

It was a great evening and the music was brilliant. I sat with some of his friends and they made me feel so welcome. It was really lovely.  As Paul was promoting the evening, we did not really have time to chat, but we have said that we will

meet up again soon. It got me thinking about my life and how quickly the time goes.  Paul's parents and some of his friends still live in my home town and I thought it was like: Where I was from; where I have been and where I am now. I have more revamps than Madonna! It got me thinking how different my life could have been.  Funny old world.

Wednesday:  I did not want to get up this morning; in fact the alarm clock woke me up. Training all day today at the Oval Cricket ground.  It really is a beautiful venue.  I had to give in and buy a Christmas card today (sigh) which will become apparent over the weekend.  Straight home, PJs on, washing done and a quiet evening.  I did say to Andy could we not just put in a huge order to Tesco and shut the door and not venture out for the next five weeks until it is all over and done with!

Thursday:  Very busy day with the 8.30 to 5.30 (no more 9.00 - 5.00) but it was good to have lunch with a colleague.  Back home and payday accounts duly done.  I was wish for a while then paid everything and are now poor ....... sigh. So tonight it was the monthly Tesco order. We have started to do this for a couple of quid as it is easier to have some of the heavier stuff delivered and also the time it takes up actually going to said supermarket.  It is a pain, but when it is done it is another thing off the radar.  So the weekly bitch fest of The Apprentice now.  I lead such an interesting life!

Friday:  Work done and dusted and tonight I was out. However, before we go there, I will have to share a story with you.  During the afternoon I was working and put some TV on in the background.  It was Who Do You Think You Are with Danny Dyer.  So he rocks off to a pub in the East End, by the Mile End Road and it was the same pub that Bart and I went in back in the summer. The landlord serving Danny Dyer was the same one who Bart ended up arguing with.  I sat and just stared at the TV. You really could not KEEP making up could you?  What are the chances of that and how many pubs are there actually in London?  

So tonight Andy and I had 'acquired' two tickets to go up The Shard.  I cannot say how we got them, but a friend of his knew I wanted to go  and had some spare tickets and gave them to me. Me being me, got dressed up and wobbled down to London Bridge.  The views were stunning, even thought I thought the building was moving all the time.  London is truly a beautiful city; one that has stole my heart. We had a free glass of bubbly and swanned around The Shard taking photos and looking for our flat.  We found it eventually.  I remember when The Shard was being built and that awful summer of 2011 when I found myself alone in London.  I went to the chapel at Guy's and stood in the courtyard looking at this amazing building.  Now I can see it form my lounge and my bedroom window. It will always be so dear to my heart for so many reasons.  

My next aim is to go to the Hotel for afternoon tea.  However, I will have to save up for that one. But it was a lovely evening and I still cannot believe that this wonderful City is my home.

As always, with my love x

When a moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie That's amore When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine That's amore (That's Amore - Dean Martin)

Dean Martin.  What a smoothie he was. Tall, dark, handsome.  Ticks a lot of my boxes, but alas dead. Which let's face it makes a change from being gay. Love this song as it reminds me of my childhood too.  As always enjoy!

Saturday and Sunday:  Lazy morning as it was so cold. So made some tea and porridge and went back to bed and watched Peter York's Hipster Handbook on Channel 4. Oh I loved this programme.  I knew exactly where the majority of it was filmed and as you know, I am rather partial to a hipster.  There was one point where I could just see Andy's roll when it showed the Mast Brother's chocolate making empire. I will not ruin it for you, watch it on More 4 and enjoy the moment.  You can take the boy out of the North; but you cannot take the north out of the boy!

So tonight is date night. Grayson has reached Level 5. Well done him, which is is remarkable really isn't it.  We are off to Stoke.  Newington. Stoke Newington. I have just had the Gok Wan show with George Michael singing as I parade numerous outfits in front of Andy for us to decide what to wear.

So date night didn't really pan out how it should have done. I think I am cursed with anything with the word Stoke in it! Not all lost. Lovely Thai meal and the restaurant had photos of all my beautiful Bangkok temples on the wall. I had my favourite: tofu Massaman curry and rice. It was really a simple little cafe really but the food was wonderful.

The rest of the weekend was challenging and I am not prepared to go into details here, but needless to say it is decision time.  It did not help when at the very small Overground Station I saw a ghost, and I mean literally the name of a ghost,  from Christmas pass waiting for

the same train as me.  There are 7.5 million people in London and there they were, waiting for the train.  You really could not make it up could you? When that flight of fight feeling sets in and all you want to do is get home as quick as you can, the Universe decides that sure OK you can do that but we will just make it as painful, emotional and difficult as we can for you.  I did hesitate and wondered whether to wait by the stairs and then thought 'sod it' and just walked passed them.  Like most people, they had their head in their phone and did not see me. They went into the first carriage; I into the second. 

Finally home and a quick debrief with Andy before he went out then I just had a shower and went to bed.  It was 17:00.

It has been the best of times; but the worse of times.

As always, with my love x

If you see me walking down the street And I start to cry each time we meet Walk on by, walk on by Make believe That you don't see the tears Just let me grieve (Walk on By - Dionne Warwick)

Such a beautiful song. I have always loved this song, the words, her voice full of emotion.  How can you not be moved by this song.  As always, enjoy.

Monday:  Not feeling the love at the moment my friends. I am blaming the moon. She cannot help it, she is a super moon.  Working from home today, which doesn't help as totally on my own, so time to think (or not think as so busy because I have been away).  I guess I am just wishing someone would put their arms around me, give me a hug and say it is all going to be OK - whatever that means.

Really busy day, coupled with the disappointment of Grayson not being able to organise himself by asking me if I wanted to attended a photography exhibition opening on Wednesday evening.  Of course I would love too; but I am working Wednesday night and it is too short notice to reschedule! It really is getting hard work.

I decided to catch a bus and subject myself to Tesco which really should now be called Winter Wonderland as it is obviously now Christmas ........ sigh! I wanted to feel like Begbie in Trainspotting. Now any of you who know the film will know that this character was played by Robert Carlyle. Begbie went looking for trouble and if he could not find any; he would create it!.  I felt as I feel so angry, upset, annoyed, flat, irritated (you get the picture) I may as well subject myself to a situation that I would normally avoid aka Tesco in November! So you will be pleased to hear that I did not glass anyone (like Begbie did in Trainspotting) and I survived!

Tuesday:  Up and out early and called into Guy's Chapel to have ten minutes with my Dad. He must really get fed up with me going on about the same old thing, over and over again.  Found a new little coffee cart positioned by The Shard and had a lovely chat with the guy running it. Long day over and it was time to kick back. So gender role reversal again this evening. I am watching football (more England disappointment) and Andy shaved his legs (no he didn't) but you you get my point.  

We now have the Bell of Hell. It used to be the Bell of Disappointing Dates. But for the festive period we have renamed it. Every time there is a reminder that Christmas is in December, not November, we ring the Bell of Hell.  Sigh.

Wednesday:  Awake at 5.00am and finished work at 10.00pm; it has been a long day.  Received a text message from PPLP my little French friend who wondered if I was around this weekend and if so, would I like to grab a cheap flight and go to somewhere like Glasgow with him! Really! I would love to go to Glasgow and told him this but unfortunately (well fortunately) I have plans for this weekend but we agreed that we should do it some other weekend.  Only in London my friends.

Thursday:  There is a lot of fish in South East London. Some days it just like being by the sea!  The demographics of this area are mainly African and the Africans eat a lot of fish and do a lot of God! On my bus journey home this afternoon it was like being on a trawler out at sea.  I was always told that if you can smell fish then it has gone off!  So much for that advice. I got chatted up by a two year old on the bus today. He was in his pushchair and kept winking at me and blowing kisses, it was so sweet. Later on I went for coffee in M&S and there was a six month old little boy in his pram who was smiling and laughing at me.  His mother said he never smiles and she was amazed how much he was taken by me.  My Dad always said I had a sign over my head that only some people could see.  Let's face it, we know where that has landed me in the past.  But I thought it was kind of sweet. Sat with Andy to watch The Apprentice we are so funny, Gogglebox are really missing a trick with us I tell you.  

Friday:  Long day training others today and I REALLY needed a drink after work. Got home, poured myself a huge glass of Malbec, drunk it, laid on my bed and fell asleep.  Come to London they said. It will be wild they said! However, I did feel better when I woke up as I have had a on off headache all day.  So a quite night as I have a busy, and hopefully enjoyable weekend.  But more about that next time folks!

As always, with my love x

God bless Mother Nature She's a single woman too She took over heaven And she did what she had to do She taught every angel To rearrange the sky So that each and every woman Could find the perfect guy (It's Raining Men - The Weather Girls)

Oh I love this song; it is raining today but alas not men. As always, enjoy.

Saturday:  A grey and wet morning in London. Not feeling the love. Of to the dentist to see the hygienist, joy oh joy. Quick trip to the supermarket and then back home to make some carrot and coriander soup.  See I am a domestic goddess and let's face it, would make a lovely wife ......... not!

Quite day catching up on the blog and paperwork and relaxing and that was very much for the evening too.  Not feeling the love at the moment to be honest. This time will pass.

Sunday:  Terrible nights sleep. I had awful, and I mean awful, dreams and was awake on and off most of the night. I eventually got some sleep around 7.00am until 9.30am which resulted in me not going to meditation. I made some porridge and went back to bed. I could have stayed there to be honest, but got a grip and dragged myself up and in the shower.  Did what I always do when feeling meh, housework and ironing and then sat in the lounge speaking to my dear friend Jackie in NZ. They have had a terrible earthquake and I was making sure she was OK and sending her news links about the situation.  It is funny isn't it that we live in such a small world where I can bounce messages to and from NZ after an earthquake where as the ability for some people to communicate in the UK is a non-starter.  Speaks volumes!

Met with my friend Emma tonight to go swimming. We met in Pret and had a drink and a good old catch up. Both of us are not feeling the love at the moment and whilst we may have not put the word right, we did our best.  My neighbourhood has a new swimming pool which gives residents of the Borough free swimming on a Friday, Saturday, Sunday.  Now I know I have said it before, but living in London has it's advantages as once again, I was not the fattest in the pool.  I took it steady and only did 14 (or it may have been 16) lengths because of my back, but all good. As always, it was lovely to see Emma and hopefully Hannah (her sister) will be able to join us next time.

Back to the flat I looked up and watched the moon; the super moon. She looked so lovely but I know she is having an affect on my mood. So dinner, chill and in bed for 21:30. Let's hope I sleep this time.

As always, with my love x

Who's that lady? Who's that lady? Beautiful lady, who's that lady? Lovely lady, who's that lady? Real fine lady, who's that lady? (Who' That Lady? - The Isley Brothers

I think one of the biggest insults I have ever had is when someone called me 'a normal lady'. My father used to call me Duchess and said that I could always be a lady until I opened my mouth! As for normal? What is normal? Whatever it is I am certainly not it as I do not confirm to social norms. So there you have it! Never ever call me a lady and especially a normal lady.  As always, enjoy.

Tuesday:  So today I am off again.  Bags packed, money in pocket and it is time to fly Pippin.  Today I am off to Vienna ........... yes it means nothing to me! The good thing about living in London is (amongst other things) that you can get cheap flights to much of Europe. Today was no exception as I made my way to Gatwick Airport to catch a flight to Vienna.  I don't know how I ended choosing Vienna, I think because a. I have never been there and b. it was cheap and c. and I liked the song by Ultravox.

The flight was good and I arrived safe and sound and then it went down hill fast. I caught the bus to one of the main stations and then to the underground. No maps on the underground and it was very difficult to negotiate it. I had to What's App Andy to send me a map of the underground for me to figure it out. I was exhausted and it did not help when I got into a lift, a very small lift, a rather dodgy looking bloke got in behind me.  He appeared from nowhere. I gave him a look that would kill. I finally, with the help from a lovely elderly woman who spoke no German, my Airbnb. The host was lovely and so was the apartment where I was staying.  I was so pleased to get to my bed. But tonight was different, it was the US elections. 

I am not even going there with that one.  Needless to say, I was awake most of the night watching it. Words fail me. Totally fail me.  I remember talking to the American last year about this and he said that he was a joke and it would not happen. This summer he said he was ashamed to be American; and now look. Words totally fail me.

Wednesday:  Wonderful breakfast and off and out for a day of culture.  Europe is now expensive so thank you to all of you who voted for Brexit. My first stop was to the Albertina. This was a wonderful building, full of art, contemporary art and the most beautiful state rooms.  I walked around the room, admiring the wooden floor (as I do) and felt the urge to waltz around the room.  I didn't.  The art was wonderful. I love walking around galleries and this one was not exception. 

The main reason for going was to see some Van Gough.  I love this artist, I really do. The pain he went through in his life was horrific. I love this art. So after this I went to the Belvedere to see more art.  This time Klimt.  You will all know this artist and there was his famous painting The Kiss.  I sat there for ages just looking at. I want some man one day to kiss me like that. Am I asking too much?

Time for cake and coffee and more walking around and eventually made my way to Prater, to the big wheel.  A couple of people told me to go on this as it is a famous landmark.  It was a big wheel with magnificent views across the city. OK it is not the London Eye but it was OK.  By now I was exhausted. I had been up most of the night watching the US elections and walked 12 miles around Vienna so I made my way back to my accommodation.

Thursday:  I am not feeling the love for Vienna. I do not know why.  I think the US election has had a detrimental affect on my mood. There is a lot of begging going on; in your face begging, intrusive begging. I do not feel comfortable with this. I am a generous person but you cannot help everyone. Due to the fact that the arse has fallen out of the Euro, everything is expensive. Today I took a tram ride around the city, which was quite good actually as it gave me a view of Vienna that I would not have seen.  There are some beautiful buildings there and I just loved the Opera House.  I wanted to see something there but it was so expensive with tickets starting at E80s I cannot justify spending that. So I went to the Sacher Hotel to have Sacher Torte and coffee whilst looking at the Opera House.  It was a moment.

By now I could have got on a flight and gone home, but I could not. The one good thing about travelling is you learn so much about yourself and this trip has not been any different.  I am tired of doing everything on my own. No one to share moments with or to talk to about things I am seeing. I am tired of it and have decided that I will not be going on any more mini adventures, I am not enjoying them as much as I used to.  I will travel, but not these little trips. Vienna is expensive and I could have just stayed in London and took in some free museums and galleries. I live in one of the most wonderful, diverse cities in the world. This will do.

Friday:  Up and off to the airport and a smooth journey home. I was so tired. I have not slept well and was so pleased to see my bed.  Caught up with Andy and we had a good chat about events and we are both concerned about the world's events. We are living in scary times.  Curry ordered and football on and peace has been restored. I slept well.

Vienna ...... it still means nothing to me!

As always, with my love x

Some random photos of Vienna, enjoy x

Ain't no stoppin' us now We're on the move Ain't no stoppin' us now We've got the groove There's been so many things That's held us down But now it looks like Things are finally comin' around (Ain't No Stopping Us Now - McFadden and Whitehead)

Oh you can't beat a bit of disco can you? This one takes me back with those electronic drum things. I bet you all remember this one. Oh Bridget I get more like you every day.  Here I am, on my bed, fluffy PJs on, glass of wine, listening to this and writing my diary (well blog). Fact or fiction? I do wonder at times. As always, enjoy and do sing along ........ you know you want to!

Saturday:  So a lazy start to the day.  I stayed up late and watched Trainspotting, I do like this film and it did not finished until 1.00am.  Had a lovely surprise this morning too. My friend Margaret in Stoke rang me. We have not 'spoken' since I left Stoke even though we 'chat' regularly via Facebook. It was so, so lovely talking with her and it was a brilliant start to my day.

Up, washed and dressed I left the flat and made my way up to the West End. Firstly, I had to go and collect two new tops that I had ordered, and very pleased I was with them too. Then off to M&S to purchase some Euros.  I was not happy with the rate I got this time compared to the last time I purchased some, but hey ho. As I left the Bureau de Change I saw their Christmas department and went bought a little fairy for Christmas.  I was quite taken back by the lights in Regent Street and London is getting dressed for Christmas; I am rather excited about it. I walked away from Oxford Street as it was so busy and found myself in Grosvenor Square, a part of town I have not visited for years.

Past all the lovely, expensive shops I found myself back in a shop I went in first thing - Penhaligon's in Regent Street. When I past this store the smell coming from it is amazing. I treated myself to a bottle of their perfume and shower gel. It was so expensive and makes my lovely Jo Malone look like Avon.  I had the bottled engraved, as you do, with 'Just because I can!' because let's face it, I can!

Made my way down to Piccadilly and to Picturehouse Central.  Oh how I like this cinema.  I went to get my ticket and went back downstairs to the cafe for a coffee and cake.  Went to the bar and got my large glass of Malbec and made my way to see the film.  Tonight I went to see I, Daniel Blake. I had heard so many things about this film, I was not disappointed.  It was about a guy called Daniel Blake, who had a heart attack and was not well enough to find work, but not ill enough to claim benefits.  I have seen this so many times in my professional life. He meets a young, single mother at the Job Centre and they form a relationship of surviving.  I could be a Daniel Blake. I have no family to rely on, if I do not work, I do not live. Daniel Blake did not live. I cried at one point as the young woman went to a shop to buy food for her children, but shop lifted sanitary towels. It was just so depressingly sad and a world that I could really relate to, as I have seen it.  Everyone should go and see I, Daniel Blake.

I left the cinema and went to wait for a bus, but none come so I walked down to Trafalgar Square to get a bus at Whitehall. I had walked into a riot. Anti establishment protesters raising their voices for 5 November.  I have never seen so many police in my life. As I started to walk down Whitehall the crowd left Trafalgar Square and were following me. They were wearing masks and letting off fireworks. I do not do either. It was a tad scary to be honest so I made my way to Embankment Tube and got a tube home.  I was so pleased to get in and close the door to be honest.

Sunday:  It was so cold this morning as I made my way up to Hoxton to meditation group and it was good meet up with dear friends.  I walked to Spitalfields with Emma and Hannah then caught a bus to my neck of the woods. I had to go to my local Marks and Spencer to collect and item I ordered yesterday, grabbed some food in the supermarket and made my way home to a cold flat.

Heating on, I laid up on the bed and promptly fell asleep.  I was awoken by Andy who had returned from his holiday and we spent the next couple of hours catching up on our week.  I have missed him.  When Grayson come over in the week he saw the pictures of me and Andy on in our lounge and said that we looked like brother and sister.  That made me smile. I have loads of things I should be doing and I am not doing any of them. I am quite tired to be honest. At least I do not have work tomorrow so I can have a slow start. So fell asleep really early and had the most strangest of dreams.  I had a baby, a baby boy then (as you do) just bumped into George Michael and Andrew Ridgely. Old George was in his Faith leather jacket and I was all over him like a rash, but also thought that old Andrew was easy on my eye.  By this time I had abandoned the baby somewhere as I was taking selfies with me and George.  All very bizarre.  I left them and gave George a flirty wave at the door.  I know! I know! What would a psychologist make of all that.

Monday:  Yes you did read that right. It is Monday and the reason why you have Monday tagged onto the weekend is because I am off tomorrow on my travels.  Lazy start to the morning and woke to a rather lovely text message from Grayson, so all good there.  Dragged my sorry carcass finally out of bed and then thought that I really should start making the effort to pack a few things.

I am annoyed as I am having to take my larger case as I do not want to be lifting a case up over my head! Annoying.  So obviously as I am only away for a few days it did not take long to do. So I spent my day with my friend Sarah. She is back in London for a few days and it was so great to catch up again. We chatted and laughed and shared stories. I cooked some food and well all sat and ate together. It was so lovely to hear of all her tales from her travels and now she is off again! I am so envious as she is off to Australia.  Oh how I would like some of that heat. We had such a lovely day and I do miss her.  But we shall Skype and catch up. So all is well.

As always, with my love x

But it was just my imagination Runnin' away with me-once again Seems it was just my imagination Runnin' away with me (Just My Imagination - The Temptations)

November! What happened? I thought I would do something a bit different this month, so I am going to feature tracks from the film Bridget Jones's Baby. I have been listening to this on Spotify and there are so many brilliant songs on there that just make me smile.  So we are starting off the month with a classic. I bet you sing the title when you read it.  As always, enjoy.

Monday:  Andy is off on his holidays today, he is going, with friends to the Isle of White. I wish I had friends to travel with sometimes. He was very excited and he is ready for a break.  Today I was in a meeting all day at The Oval.  I have never been here before, I mean, why should I have been? I have never even been to a cricket match.  I was very impressed by it and thought it was ironic the number of times both in this life, and past life, that I have been past the ground.

Not feeing the love by the time I got home. The day was successful; I do not feel the same. The icebreaker today was Desert Island Discs. So what book would you take? Easy. Wuthering Heights of course. What piece of music? Again so easy. Mozart's Clarinet Concerto in A Major.  Are you surprised by that? I bet you are. Most of my colleagues were. It reminds me of my Meg who used to play this piece on her clarinet. Oh how I miss her. Finally, what would be my luxury item? So I said Bear Grylls.  As you can imagine, that went down well.

By the time I got home, make up off I was feeling quite low. Andy was away and let's face it, why should he be the one to always be there to pick me up and everyone else, well they were busy with Halloween. It didn't help matters when good old Timehop twisted the knife and showed me a post from two years ago which mentioned my dear friend Steve.  I know why I am feeling low, but I am not prepared to share it with you. It will be resolved. So here I am listening to Mozart's Clarinet Concerto in A Major, which let's face it, really is not helping is it. But you know me, always there for everyone else and always hard on myself. Had a lovely Skype chat with my friend Sarah who is in Turkey. It was good to catch up.

Tuesday:  Better day today. I have thrown myself into my work (as I always do). Saving the world and sorting out everyone else's problems are far easier than my own life.  This is why I do the work I do.  Cold and grey in London but a busy day.  I did have chores to do tonight (ironing, cleaning that kind of stuff). None of it got done. I gave myself a lazy night but I really should be getting my backside in gear for next week. Grayson texted, he is off tomorrow so is coming over to mine for a few hours. This will be the first time he has been to mine, so that is a bit scary. Our flat is lovely, but my room tells people so much about me (if they were to take the time to look). He will look and he will ask. I guess that is good.

Wednesday: Worked really hard this morning and was up early to cram as much in as I could. Grayson turned up and we had a lovely afternoon, chatting and laughing. He liked my room and asked lots of questions about the little things I have in there. Sentimental stuff that remind me of people, places and memories. We had a great time. I will not see him now for a few weeks. He has a busy weekend, I am away, he has commitments the week after and then it is mid November. But that is fine. I guess Little Miss Cynical is just waiting for it all to crash and burn. It is all a bit scary to be honest and I really could do with a hug right now.

Thursday:  Where is the week going.  Andy will be back again soon and I have done nothing. I had plans for this week - a trip to the cinema. Nothing. Tonight I finished work at 8.30pm as I am trying to sort everything out before I go on annual leave. Well at least I am not bored.

Friday:  Grey, wet and cold in London. The leaves are rapidly leaving the trees. However, I am feeling rather positive about the festive season. I was like this last year then when Christmas Day come it was boom. I will hold on to these positive thoughts. I saw an old work colleague from the job I absolutely hated today. She, along with her colleague were one of the very few who were kind and talkative to me. We met totally by random and went for a coffee and a chat. It was was so lovely to see her and so strange how we had ended up on the same train. But it was good to catch up and we both believe it karma and thought it really strange that we both ended up on the same train going to the same place.

Back home and busy, busy, busy sorting 'stuff' out before I finally put the 'Out of Office' reply on! Yay! I was quick happy when I found another 45E in a purse, especially as when I purchased them I got them for around 1.35 E to the £.  I may have to have another bottle of perfume now! So a quiet night, writing, catching up, listening to music and doing what I do best, thinking.  However, time is now moving so fast and I really must get my arse in gear this weekend. I have a very busy and eventful week ahead.

As always, with my love x