Be good to yourself Because nobody else Has the power to make you happy (Heal The Pain - George Michael)

So the last post of the year my friends.  I am not sure what happened.  It was January and the death of David Bowie and now it is December and the death of George Michael.  I thought the lyrics from this song were a great way to end the year.  For me, personally, it has been a year of moving on with my life. This year I have achieved so many things that I never ever thought I would be in a position to do or have to do.  So, for now, as always, enjoy the song.

Saturday:  Yet another PJ, lazy morning.  This will have to cease. Finally, once again, drugged my sorry carcass out of my bed and went to the shops to buy a new toilet seat!  As you can see, it is still all rock and roll.  I never thought buying toilet seat would be so complicated.  I mean aren't they all the same? Well apparently not!  I stood in B&Q look at the various models on display and finally thought that there are far more important things in life than wasting valuable time looking at toilet seats.

To further torture myself I then went to Asda to buy Andy some 'nibbles' for this evening, as I had other plans and would not be staying in with him.  I call this guilt food. At the same time I found a toilet seat and thought it would do.  The days of walking around supermarkets are now long gone and I was soon home.

Andy put the seat on whilst I gave 'direction' and then it was soon time for me to be off.  Made my way over the East as tonight I was off to see Grayson. One bus ride and overground train later I was at his and me being me, rolled up the same time as his neighbours (who he does not get on with), so I waited for them to go into the flat then rang him for him to come down and open the door.

We had a lovely evening laughing (as always), talking (as always) and drinking (yep, as always).  He was drinking his Christmas drink of Jack Daniels so I had a few; don't as me why, it seemed a good idea.  He had purchased a lovely real 
Christmas tree and it really did look so lovely.  We sat on the bean bag watching Jools Holland and I did find myself, just for a few moments, thinking who would have thought this.  The last time I watched Jools Holland with someone was many, many years ago and here I am now, in a flat in Hackney, with Grayson who I thought I would never ever get a date with in the first place, seeing in the New Year.  It was really lovely

Sunday:  Lovely breakfast of croissants and Bucks Fizz.  Well I say breakfast, I guess it was more like Afternoon Tea but you get the point.  Grayson was asking me about my blog today.  I assured him that I give people a pseudonym and told him what his was and how I do not really l like it.  He told me that he now wants to be known as Jack the Lad, the artist previously known as Grayson.  He will now be known as Jack (as in Daniels). So this morning we spent three hours, yes three hours, talking about the situation in the Middle East, the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, the Old and New Testament and King David.  I shall leave that there!  However, it was very interesting and great fun.

It was agreed that I would stay at Jack's and go home first thing on Monday morning when he had to be up and out do to personal commitments. I did smile as he had been to Marks and Spencer and purchased a vegetarian curry for me, some lovely salad side dishes - remembering I was vegetarian.  He cooked the curry with some rice and we sat at the table eating, talking and laughing.  Same old good patterns, sharing our life stories with each other.

We then sat in the lounge on the bean bag.  He has huge bean back which when he got up to get a drink, moved and I ended up getting stranded on.  I could not move.  I was saying to him 'Jack I am stuck'. I could not move for laughing and I guess I resembled something between Free Willy and a grub from Bug's Life. We watched the weekly ritual of Match of the Day (Arsenal won he was happy, Tottenham won he was not so happy) then channel hoped various films.  It was so relaxing, snugged up on the bean bag looking at the Christmas Tree, counting my blessings.

Monday:   Alarm clock set for 7.30 (yes you did read that right) neither of us wanted to get up by Jack has commitments and that is fine, that is how it is.  He made some coffee and we both washed and left his home (after me saying good by to the Christmas Tree again) at 8.30.  He walked down to the Overground with me and we said our goodbyes and he went to catch a bus.

Liverpool Street was so quiet and I popped into Tesco to get some orange juice and croissants and on the bus and home.  Sat with Andy catching up on our news and then it was Operation Get The Christmas Stuff Put Away. I kept telling myself I would feel better when it was done.  I then had a lovely shower, put my PJs on and was feeling very tired as I snugged up on the sofa.  I have had such a lovely Christmas and New Year.  I never thought I would ever get this time back or that I would allow myself to have this time. So it has taken six long, painful, emotional years. But I guess I have finally reclaimed my Christmas. When I was at Jack's I was looking at his Christmas Tree and thinking how lovely it was.  Just a simple tree with lights and red and silver baubles, but that tree was so significant for me.  I am feeling very blessed and it is a great feeling to start the New Year.

As always, with my love x

You take the grey skies out of my way You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day Turned a bright spark into a flame My beats per minute never been the same (Wake Me Up Before You Go Go - Wham)

You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day.  I love that line.  I guess the clues were there all the time, if had bothered to look for them.  Not that it matters.  I used to joke with Andy that me and George would be a lovely couple. I could swan around his house at Highgate, which is such a beautiful property and certainly my kind of place, and he could go for a walk on Hampstead Heath and all would be well!  Alas, as if it was going to happen it most certainly will not now.  So enjoy my friends.

Tuesday (I think):  Cold and frosty morning.  I made my way to The Tate an upgraded my membership to admit myself plus one other.  I first went to see the Rauschenberg exhibition.  I have said before I wanted to be muse and today I saw what I could be a mud muse.  Rauschenberg's work is like Marmite; you love it or hate it.  Bits of it I loved; others I did not.  That aside I really enjoyed looking around.  

As I am now a member I am entitled to go to the Member's Bar and so I did to grab a coffee and some quiet space before I set off to the exhibition I really wanted to see - The Radical Eye.  This was an exhibition of modernist photography from the collection of Sir Elton John and what a treat this was.

I have never seen such wonderful photographs.  Some of them just took my breath away.  If I could get just one, one photo of me looking as half as lovely as some of the women in the photos, I would be delighted.  I had a few favourites but the work of Man Ray was amazing. Those eyes. That contrast. Amazing.  I will definitely be gong back to see this exhibition again. I had such a lovely time and this was one of my better ideas buying an annual membership.

Back home and the fun and games did not stop there.  I went on the Qantas website and checked the prices again and bingo.  Flights booked to Wellington for November 2017 for three weeks and a really good price.  I was delighted and booked it.  Just need to get my passport changed now as that is still in my old name.  I resent having to pay just to get my name changed but I also want to reclaim my identity and my passport is the remaining document that needs to be changed; so it will be changed.

We all think we have time, yet time is the one thing we really do not have. We all have an invisible date stamp on us somewhere and when that date is up, that is it.  Yet so many of us still put off what we want to do for another day.  Like that Spanish guy said to me on Christmas Day - manana is the busiest day! Don't give yourself the privilege of time, just do it and live!

Wednesday:  Slept well, well well for me.  When Grayson stays over or I stay there I sleep well and when Andy is in the house I sleep better.  This was half the problem of when I was living on my own; I just did not sleep, hence the 3.33 thing.  We both had a lazy morning then I got dressed and out and took myself off to Oxford Street.  Goodness knows why I know, but the bus when on a wild goose chase and I ended up at Russell Square, one of my favourite parts of London. * Amendment - the bus was no re-routed, I got on the wrong bus. I actually had got on the Hampsted bus - obviously still thinking of poor old George. I should have got on the Marylebone bus! Still, I got off and found myself at the British Museum.  I was going in then saw the crowds and crowds of tourists waiting to be bag searched and though, stuff that.

Wandering around I then found a lovely Oxfam bookshop, needless to say I had to go in.  What a little gem. I ended up buying a travel book on NZ and then headed for Oxford Street.  I managed to get all the way down to John Lewis without killing anyone but by the time I got to Debenhams it was too much. Quick trip into Boots for some hair stuff, Wasabi (again) for food and home.

London is really cold tonight and I sat in the lounge watching The Glenn Miller Story.  I love this film and music.  I remember when my friend Jackie come up to spend NYE with me three years ago, we sat and watched this film. Lovely memories.  However, I just could not get warm so decided to go and snuggle up in my bed and watch TV there.  All good.

Thursday:  This morning London is so cold.  It is like a scene from Frozen! Andy said it was icy last night when he come home and that he had almost slipped a couple of times.  This is not good.  I had no intention of getting up early and I am so pleased that I decided to take today as annual leave.  So here I am, still in bed, typing this.  I have just booked two tickets for Andy and I to see the new Star Wars film later on this afternoon.  I heard something amusing on the radio this afternoon.  The Jeremy Vine show were talking about a recent survey about over 50s having more sex! This, apparently, is news. They were interviewing a guy who was 79 who said that him and his 85 year old wife have sex, every Saturday morning. Jeremy Vine said something which I thought was hysterical.  He asked the guy if he could not surprise his wife say on a Friday instead!  Priceless.

I am just looking out of my bedroom window at the lovely blue skies.  A big plan has just flown over The Shard; what a view those passengers are having. London is full again.  People have returned from their Christmas trips to family and tourists have arrived to celebrate NYE and London is getting ready for the celebrations.  Personally, there is no place I would rather be right now than living here.  I love this city.

Friday:  Another grey, foggy day in London.  So much so, that I have not been able to see The Shard all day again.  Lazy start then off to the Post Office to change my passport.  My passport, which is so dear to me, is the only thing left in my old name.  The reason being was I had only just renewed it and the good old UK government wanted me to pay £80 to renew it just to change my name. So it never got done as I was too tight to pay it. However, New Year; new start and the passport is being done.

Once again, whilst I was out, I turned into the TFL tourist guide to complete strangers asking me for directions.  Please do not get me wrong, I do not mind helping people, but when you actually give them the advice and then they question it, my patience do start to run a bit thin.  London life my friends; London life.

As always, with my love x

I'd say love was a magical thing I'd say love would keep us from pain Had I been there, had I been there I would promise you all of my life But to lose you would cut like a knife So I don't dare, no I don't dare 'Cause I've never come close in all of these years You are the only one to stop my tears And I'm so scared, I'm so scared Take me back in time maybe I can forget Turn a different corner and we never would have met Would you care (Different Corner - George Michael)

Well as you know I was blogging the Pride soundtrack from Spotify this month. But last night, I heard the devastating news that my lovely, sweet George Michael was dead.  I cannot tell you how upset I am about this. I am totally heartbroken.  This Christmas Day was a good one (you will read about it in a minute), I was happy.  I should have known really shouldn't I that something would come along and take it away from me. George Michael has been on this amazing journey with me.  Wham, all that energy, the lyrics, the songs they are the soundtrack to my twenties; then just George who, like me, in 1987 found himself on his own. Starting over again, alone, confused.  Faith was one of the first CDS I every bought and I played and played it.  Meg was brought up with it! It is the sountrack of her childhood. When she went to Berlin with the school she was in The Hard Rock Cafe and she said that Faith come on and she sang along and just loved the bit where he says 'Baby' (you all know the bit).

Last Christmas always reminds me of my Dad and Brother.   I can see us now at the Bowater's Club on Boxing Day all those years ago thinking that we should get back home to my Mum and then thinking stuff it let's have another drink (gin for me and my Dad) and singing along to this. Priceless.  Even Ian gets a mention.  A Different Corner was our song and I will use this one to front this blog.  The line is .... 'turn a different corner and we never would have met'. That was us, we used to laugh at this line as it summed us up.  In 2006 Ian and I went to see him (well I wanted to go) in Manchester. What a gig.  It was a karaoke evening of George and I sang and danced, hit after hit after hit.  I have never heard a bad word said against him.  Even this year at work we had a quiz and there was a George Michael question and of course I got it right! I told me colleagues that I would never hear a bad word against him.

We all have our demons and George had his but he could laugh about them and embrace them.  I just loved the song Outside where he just takes the piss out of himself for being caught in the toilets with a bloke. Priceless. The Sun hounded him, finding any excuse to make a homophobic comment. But George was George. Even when he went to prison it was said that every night the lads on the wing would play pool with him and ask him to sing!  This makes me smile. George Michael made me smile, he was there with me every step of the way. He 'made the sun shine brighter than Doris Day'. Then the first Christmas I feel happy again, he dies. My first Christmas was his Last Christmas.  Thank you George for the songs, the lyrics, your beautiful voice and amazing smile, for not allowing your music to be sold in South Africa during apartheid, for staying true to your working class roots, for speaking out for freedom of sexuality.  For laughing at himself when inside he was dying, for probably being the first gay man I have fallen in love with (there have been many more since) and for sharing part of my journey with me. Thank you my dear friend,  I shall miss you.

Christmas Eve:  The first time since 2010 I did not wake alone on Christmas Eve.  It has taken me six long, painful years to let someone back into my life. I always told myself that I would build this wall around me that would not allow anyone to harm me again.  But by doing that you stop so much from happening. I never thought, back in May this year, that I would get one date with Grayson, let alone eight.  He thinks it is amusing that I have counted them!  We had a lovely morning/lunchtime but it was soon time for him to go.  He had 'family' commitments and I get that, it is Christmas this is what happens and this is how it is. But he has now left his toothbrush in our bathroom and I think that is kind of cool.  It made me smile. I thanked him for making this Christmas different to all the others.  I feel I have come a long, long way ............ finally.

With Grayson gone, I tidied up and had a shower and then sat back and relaxed. I had quite a nice evening to be honest.  I think have got to the stage now where I know there is nothing I can do to change things, Christmas Day will come and go, but feeling in a really good place and intend staying there, because let's face it, I am sure that no one else is sitting there thinking of me!

It was a good day. I went for my annual walk to Guy's Chapel to spend some time with my Dad then walked along the River.  It was so busy; so many tourists.  I am sure I was the only one there who actually lives here.  Managed to find some coffee and sat on my favourite bench watching the people go by. I started talking to a rough sleeper.  I never caught his name, he was from Spain but normally 'lives' in Ramsgate but wanted to come to London. He was lying by Waterloo Bridge.  I asked him how he was and how was his Christmas Day and he said he was happy, he had this lovely view, a priceless view that would, as we both agreed, would cost millions to live there! He was reading some books and we spent time talking about those. He had plenty of food, I asked him, We just enjoyed our conversation.  He said that the Spanish have a saying that Manana is the busiest day! Ain't that the truth. He had such a lovely chat. We should not judge, but we do.  None of us know, and me in particular, know how our life will pan out, what shocks or surprises are in store for us.  This man brightened my Christmas Day Morning.  The families walked by and some of the children had their new toys and it reminded me of my dear Meg. I still cannot believe I live in London.  This place has given me a life back and for that, I will always be so thankful.

Back home, sushi and gin and Frozen. All rock and roll my friends, all rock and roll. The line in Frozen I laughed at the most was 'Take me up the North Mountain'! I know, childish but so funny.  I had some lovely presents too. I felt so blessed. Andy had put me together a Survival Pack for Christmas.  Gin, chocolate, Bridget Jones' Baby music CD, the complete set of Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie and the AbFab movie. What a star he is! Jackie in NZ sent me a beautiful calendar and a plaque about friendship, so lovely. I had chocolates and even some money, hand cream, a beautiful paperweight, a mug, more gin and a colouring book with Peppa Pig crayons.  What more could a girl ask for.

It had been a good day. Then I heard the news about George Michael. I laid awake until 3.33 watching the news, crying and just feeling terribly sad. Tragic news.  Anyone who knows me will know that I will be heartbroken

Boxing Day:  I What's App Andy last night but he was asleep; his message woke me when he read the news.  He could not believe it! I still cannot believe it. I can't stop crying, which I know is sad but true.  They have just had a tribute to him on Radio 2 song, after song, after song! George Michael you have left us with so much to be happy and thankful for.  Then the homophobic comments start to appear on friends of friends FB pages.  I am not having it. I reported them as a Hate Crime.  One of my friends said what is the point, he has challenged FB in the past and they do nothing. Sadly he is right. But as I pointed out to him, I live my life by the following mantra and I just cannot remain silent:

First they come for the socialists and did not speak out because I was not a socialist;
Then they come for the trade unionists and did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they come for Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew;
Then they come for me then there was no one left to speak for me

Powerful words but ones I try to live my life by.

I decided at noon that I should get showered and dressed.  I did, dressed in my PJs. Didn't feel like going out to be honest. I really cannot tell you how upset I am, but it will pass.  So a quiet day watching back to back episodes of Bad Girls (yes I know) and stuffing my face. A long, sad day. I was in bed (alone) for 18:00. But tomorrow is another day and I will be out and about, but will have George on my headphones.

As always, with my love x

I've been in love and lost my senses Spinning through the town Sooner or later, the fever ends And I wind up feeling down I need a man who'll take a chance On a love that burns hot enough to last So when the night falls My lonely heart calls (I Want To Dance With Somebody - Whitney Houston

Oh the gays love a bit of Whitney, well not literally, but you know what you mean. Personally, some of her music I like; others I can leave.  However, this one makes me want to dance.  I have wanted to dance quite a bit lately. So always, enjoy.

Monday:  Personally, I think when it is your birthday you should be able to have the day off work.  This was not the case for Grayson (or me). He had to be the other side of London first thing and I had to be in an all day meeting.  Monday morning and his birthday and arrived with grace.  Meeting done and dusted and I was home.  I had no intention of doing anything this evening.  Grayson texted to say how much he had loved the card and present I got him.  All Arsenal related.  It was amazing how much tat you could buy related to Arsenal, or any football team to be honest.  So he was happy.  So Andy and I had a quiet night. All is well.

Tuesday:  Since moving to London I have not had a car. I sold my car when I left Stoke as because I am living in Central London there really is no point having a car.  However, the one time I do miss it is when I am going grocery shopping and this was apparent this afternoon when I took the bus to go to Aldi. I went to Aldi to buy two bottles of their Bailey's as it is only £3.45 a bottle and I do like a 'Bailey's' and Cointreau.  So whilst I was there I got a few nice bits for Christmas and amazed myself that I had judged it precisely to fit into the two bags I had with me.  The fun and games started as soon as I got on the really crowded bus.  

I managed to get a seat and all was well until the guy sitting next to me wanted to get off which then meant I had to move and then took the seat by the window. My bag toppled over, the bag with the eggs in of course.  Fortunately nothing fell out and no eggs were broken.  Shopping in London really should be an Olympic sport and then throw Christmas in the mix and you, like the turkey, are well and truly stuffed.

So quiet night in chez flat! Bank statement (sigh) checked and chores done and time to sit back.  In other news today, I actually will now be finishing work on Friday for Christmas.  This is the first time since 2010 that I have taken any annual leave over the Christmas period.  I am really feeling that I am reclaiming my Christmases at long last.  All is well.

Wednesday:  I guess it had to happen sooner rather than later; the crash and burn.  Ironically, nothing to with Meg and all those feelings that come back to haunt me even more this time of the year, but with a work related incident. Basically, without too much detail, I set myself up to be disappointed and it happened.  It would be just nice that if just for once, something good come to me easily.  It rarely does  One, slow step forward; six back. I was upset and went to bed (best place for me). I have survived a lot worse, especially at this time of year, so this will not kill me.  I am just annoyed at myself allowing it to happen.

Thursday:  Quiet day today. Working from home so got a lot of rotten office jobs done and dusted.  You know the type of things that never get done but are great when they do.  I was supposed to be going to Hannah and Emma’s tonight, however I had to message them around 11.00am to say that I am not feeling well and will not be able to go. I am fighting off a cold. It is no wonder. Andy has had one for a week which is just going now and Grayson rocked up on Sunday with a cold.  No wonder really as he had spent four hours the previous day lying in his bath, topping up regularly with hot water, whilst he recovered from the hangover from hell.  Men!

So feeling sorry for myself tonight but at least I had Andy for company.  All wanted was noodle soup for dinner; alas I had to make do with pasta.  However, those of you who know me will know that when I have been kicked in the teeth I do not fight, I flight .............. been checking out flights all day.  Exciting stuff.

Friday:  That time of the year again; Andy goes home for Christmas.  We had such a fun afternoon playing on the Playstation, having a drink and a laugh, but then it was time for him to go.  We said our goodbyes.  It was time for him to catch his train.  He has just left when the buzzer to the front door went and I thought, what has he forgotten; but it was Grayson.  He has texted me yesterday to see if I was free.  

I had been down to Borough Market earlier this morning to get some cheese,

bread and other bits and bobs and tonight I had cooked a mushroom risotto for us.  Andy had is earlier.  Grayson and I sat and ate and chatted and laughed so much.  He have me a bottle of Hendrick's (gin) for Christmas! We had such a lovely evening and it was great to be spending more time with him.   All is well my friends, all is well.

As always, with my love x

You were workin' as a waitress in a cocktail bar When I met you I picked you out, I shook you up and turned you around Turned you into someone new Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet Success has been so easy for you But don't forget, it's me who put you where you are now And I can put you back down too (Don't You Want Me Baby - The Human League)

Once again, I wonder how many of you read this and started singing.  There are just some songs that you automatically know; this is another one of them.  A timeless classic. So as always enjoy.

SATURDAY:  This morning, London is bathed in fog. I feel sorry for the tourists as today they will not see a thing!  I could not even see The Shard. She appeared sometime late in the afternoon, but by the evening, she had disappeared again.  Quiet start to the morning then on the bus to Bermondey as I had booked myself in for a pedicure and manicure.  Or as Andy put it, getting my claws looked at.

I have not had this done since I arrived in London as I am rather anxious about my feet but decided to bite the bullet.  The woman who had the awful task of trying to make me look somewhat normal, was from Vietnam.  I am not surprised with this as the majority of the people who work in the nail bars are from there.  This place was in a hairdressers salon and I think they were Polish, so it was like the United Nations.  That aside, she did a brilliant job and my feet look fine and my hand look lovely.

Back home and today we had our Christmas Dinner.  We cooked a meal and sat watching Christmas films.  We watched Nativity and I have never seen it before and thought it was lovely. However, by the early evening we were both feeling stuffed.  Andy is not well either; he has a rotten chesty cough. So I am trying to keep away from him as I do not want this, thank you very much.

Sunday:  So this Sunday was 'Let's depress ourselves and watch Its A Wonderful Life'.  I have seen this film so many times and it had only been on ten minutes and I was crying and eating my Christmas chocolates ..... all good. Today was date day with Grayson.  In typical Grayson tradition I had not heard anything grrrrrr. However, it transpires that he had sent me a message; I had not received it.  I made my way to the Tate Modern and purchased an annual membership for all Tate galleries.  My Christmas treat to me.  Grayson rocked up in his usual laid back way and we walked up to the Southbank (holding hands which I absolutely love). We went to the Winter Wonderland type thing there and had a couple of ciders, whilst sitting out side.  When we were both frozen to the core we decided to go back to mine and grab some food.  

However, much to Grayson's amusement I had a Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction and after a couple adjustments, resulting in absolutely nothing, we decided to go to the toilets at Waterloo and grab some Wasabi.  I have come along way since our first date in May where I was absolutely terrified of meeting him to tonight were my tights, much to his amusement, were falling down. Like I said to him, I am such a classy bird.

Wasabi purchased and on the bus and went home.  We went to my room and when Andy woke up (he has not been well) he come in to meet Grayson and we all had a good chat.  It was like bringing him home to meet the parents. We just chilled in my room watching Breaking Bad (Grayson has not seen it but is off to buy the box set now).  Tomorrow is his 35th birthday and I had got him a card and present (of course I had) as well as a few bits for Christmas. So a lovely evening had by all.

As always, with my love x

Ha ha ha I have just realised I have used this song twice! I am so tired tonight but it goes to show how much I like this song!  Just enjoy it twice x

Greta Garbo, and Monroe Deitrich and DiMaggio Marlon Brando, Jimmy Dean On the cover of a magazine Grace Kelly; Harlow, Jean Picture of a beauty queen Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire Ginger Rodgers, dance on air They had style, they had grace Rita Hayworth gave good face Lauren, Katherine, Lana too Bette Davis, we love you Ladies with an attitude Fellows that were in the mood Don't just stand there, let's get to it Strike a pose, there's nothing to it (Vogue - Madonna)

This song holds fond, fond memories for me.  Firstly, I can remember dancing to it in a night club in Gillingham with the Girlie Glees but more importantly I can see me now singing it to my Meg in our first home. She said 'Mummy, mummy you know all the words!' of course I do; and still do.  Andy and I were singing it this weekend, and striking the pose.  So now it is your turn ...... strike a pose and as always, enjoy!

Monday:  Life is very busy this week and today is Thursday.  But let's go back to Monday.  Busy day.  Tonight I had to work late for a meeting and got home around 9.00pm. So tired but all good.  

Tuesday:  Our team's Christmas lunch today. It was wonderful.  We were in a staff meeting at The Oval cricket ground and it was not much of a meeting more of a reflection on the year and a laugh. We had a quiz and I did so well; people were amazed about how much rubbish I can store in my head.  We had a lovely lunch and some wine then all went to the pub ............ It also transpired that back in the early 80's I lived just up the road from one of my colleagues.  How weird is that? Well not really as many of you know this stuff happens around me all the time. 

So I drunk far to much Malbec and staggered up to Vauxhall station with a colleague, got on the bus and kept giggling. Off the bus into the chip shop downstairs, back to my girlie glee days that is, you have to have your chips. Andy had his team's meal this evening and come home to find all my post just thrown on the floor on the landing, me in bed, door open and tv on. He walked into my room and I instantly woke up so funny.  All in all a really good evening and I feel so lucky to be working with such lovely people.  What a difference a year makes.

Wednesday:  I did not feel the love this morning. I had to be on a bus to Lewisham Hospital for an event at 7.00am! Yes you did read that right. I did not feel well.  Warm bus, stopping and starting, full of smelly people. I so needed carbs.  Managed to grab an egg may sandwich which kind of helped the little battle going on in my stomach.  However, I did struggle with the coffee but by 11.00am I was back to my usual self.  Good day and well worth the effort of going.

Tonight The Shard has provided once again.  This year the lights are amazing. They change from silver to gold and then pulsate and even turn into a glitter ball with beams of light coming out of the top. Amazing! Obviously, this has been arranged just for me again to celebrate the fact that I am in London. Why would I need a Christmas tree when I have this wonderful light show every evening.  I went to bed tonight with my curtains open just looking at The Shard thinking how lucky I am and how resilient I am.

Thursday:  The week is marching on and my liver is trying to keep up.  Meeting in the office this morning so I set off early to clear a 1001 emails. Lunch with a colleague which was really lovely and gave us a good chance to have a lovely chat. Quick trip to Waitrose for a few Christmas treats for me and then bus home.  This afternoon I worked so hard get so much done.  Really rewarding. I really love working for this organisation.  Just love it.

A very much a restful night, thank goodness, it really has been a busy two weeks.

Friday:  Work done and dusted once again this evening I was out.  I walked up to Borough Market and met my friend Ian who lives in Cheshire. Once again, he was in town.  London, this evening, was heaving!  The world and it's wife were out and I do not think I have ever seen the pubs so busy.  We walked along to Bermondsey Street and grabbed a drink and started to catch up with our news. We then went for dinner at The Garrison.  It was, like everywhere else in town, really busy but the food was ok and least we could hear ourselves talk.

We then walked back towards London Bridge and went into the pub to have 'one for the road' or tube in Ian's case.  It was so funny as we got started talking to a bloke called Laurence who kind of made himself known.  He was OK, drunk, but OK. It amused Ian and like I said to him, welcome to my world.  This always happens to be, I always find someone to talk to.  We said our goodbyes and Ian went off on the tube and and I walked home.  It was a lovely evening.

As always, with my love x

Everywhere I go Every smile I see I know you are there Smilin back at me Dancin in moonlight I know you are free Cuz I can see your star Shinin down on me (Together Again - Janet Jackson)

I have always loved this song by Janet Jackson.  Rumour has it that she wrote it about a dear friend she lost to AIDS. I like the line 'I know you are there smiling back at me'.  I have been thinking a lot recently about my dear friend Steve so I guess this song is rather apt.  Steve had, how can I put this, the most colourful language and I was telling Grayson about this and it just makes me smile. So as always, enjoy!

Saturday:  I had some urgent paperwork to do today, which I thought would take me all weekend, it didn't, with Andy's help it took me a couple of hours and it was a great relief when I hit the send button.  We then had a large Bailey's with Cointreau and felt slight ...... drunk.  It was 1.00pm.  I went out, I did not want too but kind of had too.  Up to Soho to get my lovely Paul A Young Chocolates.  It was so busy, then it started to rain so I come home again. The day did not get light at all!

Andy had some of his friends over this afternoon, so I stayed in my room.  I did not have too, but I did not want to play board games.  So I spent the afternoon/evening watching Netflix.  They are lovely people and I did keep popping my head around into the lounge.  We all ordered pizza and by then I was exhausted.

Sunday:  Up and out and off to Trews.  I stayed for the meditation and then left via Hoxton High Street to get a bag for some Christmas presents oh and another bottle of Cointreau.  Back home, and ironing done (well just the bed sheets these days) then we, well me, put the Christmas decorations up.

Andy went out for a few hours and I kicked back and wrapped some presents. So a quiet weekend but it has been a busy week and another busy week to come.  I said that in London you do not have an advent calendar but you have at least one drink a day instead.  Happy days.

As always, with my love x