And I will sing, waiting for the gift of sound and vision, Drifting into my solitude, over my head (Sound and Vision - David Bowie)

Another blast from my past.  How can you not like this one.  OK there are not many lyrics on this track and I did wonder what to use.  But the music is, well in my opinion, wonderful.  Blue, blue, electric blue, that's  the colour of my room, where I will live ............... well you all know by now how I love to feel safe in my little room!  As always, enjoy!

Monday:  I spent the early hours of the morning with my dear old friend 3:33 until 5:00, then when the alarm went of course I did not want to get up. But hey it was cool as I was greeted by my other new friend: headache! I walked to work this morning and the first thing that literally crossed my path was a lorry from Stoke on Trent. I was listening to Creep by Radiohead.  I could really relate to the lyrics which include lines such as:  'what the hell am I doing here, I don't belong here.  I treated myself to something for my desk today during my lunch break. Just a little something to keep my focussed.  I ended up leaving work at 17:45 but it was OK I needed to do some work.

Back to the flat and dinner warmed up, cup of tea made and feet up. Had a lovely catch up chat with my friend Jackie: tears and laughter. Then finished off the evening watching X Files. Oh how I used to love watching this.  I said to Andy that David Douchovny still ticked some boxes: tall, dark then Andy said weird ..................

Tuesday:  It happened.  I have a cold! Yuk and pants.  So quiet day at work.  I just kept my head down, headphones in and worked and worked. Slow walk home and I cooked dinner tonight as Andy was out, I made the soup for lunch too. Then just lazed in my room.  I should have been at Aquafit but to be honest, I cold not face it and getting wet and cold isn't going to help is it.  There is nothing I can do or take.  I will just have to get on with it.  There are plenty of people I know who would like to be here still with a cold.

Wednesday:  Yuk. That is how I feel.  I dragged myself to London Bridge to a meeting that transpires was eight days ago!  How I managed to sync that to my diary I haven't a clue, but I did.  Bus back to work and all was not good.  I felt so ill.  I went home and had a shower and change of clothes and back on the bus for my outreach.  I could not face food but had my dear old Dad in my head saying have some toast sweetheart.  What is it with toast and being ill?  I shared my bagel, due to the lack of a toaster in the park, with two robins and a crow.  

After work it was to the hairdressers.  I have struggled to find a hairdresser since arriving.  I thought I had found one then when I had my highlights put in they were more like streaks ....... I was not happy.  So I have been putting it off until I really had to do something about it.  So I went somewhere new tonight. I am pleased with it.  She used a warmer colour and warmer highlights which do look natural.  She then blow dryed my hair and put long curl/twirls in it.  Just call me Beyonce! Andy loved it so I am going to by him/me some rollers and we will try to relive it. I told him he is gay so he should be artistic rather than autistic!  So watch this space. 

Thursday:  So I washed my hair.  I thought, what is the point going to work with it ......... there wasn't any.  Needless to say, no one said a word about it anyway.  It has been a long, long week.  I think because I do not feel well has not helped.  Also, we had some news this week which, may, may, impact hugely on our future.  But I am really trying not to worry about that until I know more. I also had a bit of a shock today.  My phone rang at work and it was an 01782 number - which is the area code for Stoke.  I was like a Pavlov dog.  My heart sank and so did my face as one of my colleagues asked when I returned to my desk if everything was OK? That alone was amazing.  It something of nothing but it proved to me, once again, as if I need any proof, that the past is still very much in my present.

I was out with PPLP tonight.  He is moving from his room across the road to Raynes Park which in London speak is another continent.  To be honest, I really did not feel like going out, but I made the effort.  He called over to the flat to drop off a bag for me to look after and we just went to the local pub. I thought it would be quiet; it wasn't.  We had a lovely catch up, sharing both our news. Tomorrow he flies home to France for a couple of weeks, then back to his new place.  We said of course we shall keep in touch.  We will.  

Friday: Well I have been awake since 4.00am! This is not good.  All sorts of stuff racing through my mind, coupled with cold, coupled with meh.  Like I said previously, it has been a long week and I feel today shall be a long day.  I started to watch the BBC programme about elderly 'celebrities' trying to see if they could retire to India, as in the film the Most Exotic Marigold Hotel.  Even though this was at 5.00am it filled my head with even more anxiety and thoughts.  No wonder I could not get back to sleep.  

However, I did have a bit of brainwave this morning and something I need to explore fully.  So hopefully, my early start to Friday was not a wasted one.  We shall see (I always say that but I never seem to see anything lol).  It has been a long week.  I feel terrible this evening but hey ho, there are plenty in the Crem who would rather be here with a cold than not here at all.  But hey it is now the weekend.

As always, with my love x