Look at the stars, Look how they shine for you, And everything you do, Yeah, they were all yellow (Yellow - Coldplay)

This is one of my favourite Coldplay songs ever ......... and Andy absolutely hates it. In fact, he recently said and hence me now using Coldplay, that if I ever hear that song coming from his room it is because he has killed himself. I automatically started singing it and have had it in my head every since.

I remember seeing Coldplay at Glastonbury in 2000 on the Saturday afternoon. Meg was playing and I was ironing and watching Glastonbury on the TV and Coldplay come and and sang this and I thought then ....... Oh I like this. I guess the rest, unfortunately, is history.  I also remember JF and I went up to Northumberland and we were walking in torrential rain along the beach and I started to do my impression of this video whilst singing Yellow.  Fond memories that I can smile about because I just love this song and as many of you know, I just love the stars and I love the sea. As always, enjoy!

Monday:  Andy had left the thermostat turned up on the heating last night and subsequently I woke at 6.00am coughing because the flat was so bloody hot. Fortunately, for him and me, I managed to get back to sleep until 9.00am. I treated myself to boiled egg and dippy Marmite solders for breakfast, can life get any better I have to ask myself?  No plans for today.  Andy invited some of his friends over to play boardgames ........ sigh.  I am always welcome to join in but to be honest, and he knows this, I would rather stick hot pins in my eyes. So I decided to sort out my room.  I packed away all my winter clothes and got out my summer collection and packed up two backs to take to the charity shop.  That in itself is a major thing.  I have mentioned it before, there are no charity shops and they do not collect.  So I have stuffed them in a suitcase and will wander out in the week and take them somewhere.  I must admit, I did feel good afterwards though.  A job well done. 

Lazy afternoon catching up on 'stuff' then spent the evening in the Lounge with Andy watching MasterChef and laughing so much, which proved once again that my asthma is not controlled, at Peter Kay.  The show highlighted one of the funniest things I have seen on TV for ages from the show Car Share.  Episode Three is hysterical.  It just makes me laugh so much. Unfortunately, I could not find a clip to use for this blog.  But if you every want to see me really laugh, just close your lips and try to say 'Lady Diana'.

Tuesday:  Just when you think you are getting somewhere, boom.  I am fed up typing about it now so you all must be frustrated reading about it.  A beautiful morning in London.  I decided I needed to get a grip and use this silent, resting time to my advantage.  So a productive morning.  All positive.

Ventured out in the afternoon to get some 'fresh' air. However, new complication which is a side affect of coming off medication - heart palpitations.  Horrible.  I just laid on my bed waiting for the next skip of my heart.  I guess it shows I still have one; albeit it damaged.

Wednesday:  Woke up and instantly felt so low.  I kept telling myself to dig deep but my mind starting thinking again!  I have not been 'settled' (whatever that is) for five or three years - depending on you look at it.  Three years ago I was 'homeless' and since then I have moved from place to place; job to job. Wandering.  Looking for who knows what. Trying to make the most of every opportunity but I guess the top and bottom of it is (and I said this to someone recently) we are all damaged - some more than others.  I hear people tell me you are unique, you are strong - I guess the fact is that I am as weak as a kitten and some days I just wish that it would all just go away.  I think today is going to be one of those days. 

How right was I.  I will not go into detail but today I heard from a voice from the past (the transatlantic past with skateboard ...... you can fill in the clues). Note to self:  when the past comes knocking, remember you do not live there any more.  Beautiful afternoon spent in the park, meditating, chilling and reflecting and it all come to an abrupt end with a message from Andy saying he did not have his keys and his mates were coming around this evening.  That put paid to my peace and quiet. I was in the East at Victoria Park; we live in the South East.  Needless to say I packed up my bag and made the trek home only to find Andy and three of his mates sitting on the lawn outside of the flat. What can I say? It kind of sums up the day really.  I read somewhere that mercury is in retrograde which means breakdown in communication ....... I think I will just park that thought.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/people-are-freaking-out-about-mercury-in-retrograde-this-is-what-s-really-going-on-a7009566.html

Thursday:  Awake at stupid o'clock but it gave me the opportunity to have an online chat with my dear friend Jackie who lives in Wellington, New Zealand. Jackie and I go back years.  I met her through mutual friends and we hit it off straight away, especially as we had to pretend to be lesbian lovers to get access to our holiday accommodation (as they did not permit single sex

Indeed!

parties and me, being me, argued the fact that they could not discriminate against 'us' as we were a couple - we were not, but it worked).  We kept in contact on and off, as you do, during the years I was in exile and ironically, I used to correspond fairly regularly with her dear sweet Mum, Peggy. Then in 2013 after, well after too many years, Jackie come to stay with me in my new home.  

I met her at the station and I was like a caged tiger, just walking up and down the platform waiting for her train to arrive.  We just screamed, hugged, cried and laughed.  It had been around 22 years, if not more.  We had a great time and I will always remember New Years Day 2014 as we sat in our PJs eating chocolates and watching the Vienna New Year's Day concert followed by the film The Glen Miller Story.  Then in the Spring of 2014 she uprooted and went to live with her lovely Kiwi partner in New Zealand.  A woman of my own heart. Brave, fearless and adventurous, but oh how I miss her.  

Olivier called over this afternoon.  It was good to see him.  We do have so much in common.  It is not spooky, it is just what it is.  We spent the afternoon chatting (probably me to much) and laughing and then we went to grab a coffee and a walk down by the Thames before he had to get a tube and train back home.  It was a lovely afternoon and I really enjoyed myself.  Said goodbye to Olivier at London Bridge station and then popped in to see my Dad at the chapel at Guy's and just sat in the peace and quiet, reflecting. Back home and Andy and MasterChef.  A good day but let's face it after yesterday anything would have been an improvement

Friday:  Terrible night's sleep; it was so warm.  Called the Doctors this morning due to the fact that I have no inhalers left.  They told me to come up straight away.  I cannot really complain about that.  Change of plans ..... sigh. No tests today as she said there is no point as I am still on the steroids as it will not give a true reading.  So more inhalers, all different types.  But, I do think I am finally getting there!

Walked up to the Peace Garden at the Imperial War Museum and sat in the sunshine reading my book.   Not going to really comment on the rest of the day. There is no point. I really do not like this grown up thing or a retrograde Mercury! Almost five years and look at me.  Rang the bell on the coffee table ............ sigh!

As always, with my love x