The lights go out and I can't be saved. Tides that I tried to swim against have brought me down upon my knees. Oh I beg, I beg and plead, singing (Clocks - Coldplay)

Well this will be the final song by Coldplay. Once again, there were so many tracks to chose from and I know when I look back I shall ask myself why did I not use this one or that one. I like the piano on the start of this one and this track has been used so many times on the BBC over events and filming.  So as always enjoy. 

Saturday:  So I wanted to wake up this morning 5 stone lighter.  Guess what? It never happened.  But 5lbs lighter so pleased with that and a few more weeks until I need that dress.  Not sure if tonight is happening. Suppose to be but no definite rendezvous at this stage. But I am used to that now so just getting on with my day. Flat cleaned, washing done, room tidied. 

I love summer and whilst summer in London is wonderful, the dust and pollution is not. I could be dusting morning, noon and night. I don't. Those of you who know me from a previous life know how much I like cleaning. But now I get over it, I have to, or I would be dusting every day.  It is warm today as well. Overcast, but warm.  I will stay in today pottering around and just be kind to me.


So where shall I start? I received a text to say my date was on and where we were going to meet.  Major meltdown. I kept repeating my mantra: Leicester, Leicester, Leicester in my head.  Left the flat in plenty of time, only to get to the bus stop to realise that when my handbag had dropped on the floor, my lipstick had rolled out. Grrrr. I had to walk back home then spent five minutes trying to find where I had left my lipstick. By then I was in a right tizz.  Back to the bus stop and just missed a bus and then received a text from my date to say he had go the times muddled and would meet me at a pub instead of our previously arranged meeting point. Now, many of you will know that I cannot walk and text at the same time as I need my glasses.  

Get to Shoreditch and put glasses on and I had a rough idea where I was going. By now I was stressing out about being stressed out and not so much about my date.  I rock up at the bar and he was there waiting for me with a large gin and tonic .......... my kind of guy.  We hit it off straight away and we spent the whole time in the pub chatting and laughing.  I told him that I blogged and asked him what he wanted his name to be as you know I like to give people a pseudonym to protect them. I was going to call him Saatchi but he preferred Hirst.  We settled on Grayson which got changed to Jason after a few drinks and plenty of laughs when instead of saying Grayson Perry he said Jason Perry.  My date manages a gallery in East London and works in the Arts; hence me thinking I was punching above my weight.

Grayson and I had a great time in the Barley Mow in Shoreditch.  The pub was closing up and I went to the toilet only to come out to find the whole pub empty. That is the first time I have cleared out a pub.  We stood outside still talking and laughing.  He has such an interesting job and was absolutely fascinating. Likewise, I was full of my stories of my careers and funny stories and I was being my usual chaotic self.  We decided the night was young and he thinks he is still 35 and as you know folks I am only 29, so we went to a club.

We get to the club and there was a big doorman who said we had to join the queue - there was no queue just us two.  The doorman then asked for some ID.  I said really, obviously I did not look old enough to get into a club in Shoreditch.  Jason, had no ID but the guy let us in.  The first thing we both wanted was the toilet.  A sign of our ages (oh forgot to say Jason is a year younger than me).  I got the drinks in and by now Jason had come over to the dark side and was on the gin. We found a table by the door that had reserved for Sophie on it, but was totally empty.  We sat there talking and laughing and then Jason said shall we have some of the Prosecco that was in the bucket on Sophie's table. Me being Miss Goodie Two Shoes said no as he poured two glasses.  It was vile and this is very much how the evening continued. It was a magnum of Prosecco! So the evening continued with Jason drinking the Prosecco telling me to drink it up and me saying 'I don't like it'.  I have told him since that next time I will not be so bloody polite but it was because I had Leicester, Leicester, Leicester in my head!

Then a strange thing started to happen. People who were going outside kept coming up to us two asking us to look after their drinks so they did not get spiked, because we both looked honest.  It was hysterical. We were drinking good old Sophie's Prosecco whilst others were saying we looked honest.  We said that they probably thought we were Sophie's Mum and Dad at her Hen Party.  It was so funny. Then the doormen were removing someone from the club right in front of us and the Police were called and we decided that it was Sophie's husband-to-be who had found her with the best man in the toilets. We both decided that we needed to speak with Sophie and tell her don't get married especially if all he could provide was a huge bottle of vile , cheap, Prosecco that I really did not like!  The girl could do a lot better.  Time to go so we had a bit of a dance and went to find a bus.  It was snowing in Shoreditch. Yes, I know I had a lot to drink by now but there was a snow machine in Shoreditch in May ........ as you do. 

Poor old Jason was slightly more pickled than me by now and thought that it was only 12.00 it was 2.30am. Got on a bus and we were off.  It was so funny as I got off the bus I saw a signpost that said Tottenham which I said to Jason Oh OK Tottenham.  He supports Arsenal and said NOOOOO I cannot say Tottenham.  I said to him that by now I thought I was guesting on an episode of Match of the Day: Arsenal, Tottenham and bloody Leicester.  I have never laughed so much on a date.  The next day my ribs ached where we had laughed so much. I had such a great time.  Jason was telling me about the work he exhibits and the artists he meets and the wonderful people he has worked with for so many years who are like family to him.  Such an interesting person and this would never, ever, ever, ever have happened in Stoke.  We were making up stories about Sophie and her hen night and had decided that Jason could get some Channel 4 money for us to make a new programme called Sophie's Choice where people on a first date have to compete in certain tasks such as how much gin can you drink, pinch the alcohol and find a bus home rounds.  I think it is winner myself and we both thought it could be our pension plan.

I cannot tell you how much I laughed. I think the last time I laughed like this was when Andy and I went to Amsterdam.  My ribs ached and still do.  Jason's plans had changed and he asked me if I wanted to go and grab some food at the local pub so off we trotted.  Some of you will like this next bit, doors were opened for me and he insisted on paying.  Now you know me, I did argue and it was agreed that he would come over to mine at some point and I will repay him with Sunday Lunch at my local. 
Little Miss Independent.  It was time to go our separate ways.  Jason was going to meet a friend off a flight at Heathrow; I was going home.  We said our goodbyes on the train at Bank and I made my way home.  I had just had a 24 hour date.  Andy said in gay world that would have been a marriage and divorce by now! He had assumed that I was have fun if not he said he really did need to give me some coaching on escape tips!

Back home and a catch up with Andy and bed for me.  This is why I just love London.  I get to meet some amazing, interesting people who enrich my life with their stories and experiences. I am just living in and enjoying the moment and I really did enjoy the time Jason and I spent together. We did talk about what we were looking for in a relationship earlier on in the evening, whilst we were sober.  I explained my side of things and told him a bit of what had happened to me. Unfortunately, he too has had a difficult past but I guess people of our age do not get to that age without some baggage and sadness. It looks as if we both are looking for the same thing.  Separate lives where we do our own thing and do not lose our independence and have our own interests and career but also someone to walk part of the journey with; to enjoy the moment. I think we will see each other again.  I hope we do, I really do. I do not think he is the kind of guy that will just disappear. But for now, he will return to his life and I shall return to mine. All is well.

Monday:  So I finally check the 62 emails I have received during my 24 hours off radar and straight away I am reminded of a line from Bridget Jones as follows:



One of the emails was from Legs! Do you remember Legs? The guy who lives in Zurich ...... is it all coming back to you now, I can see.  Legs was inviting me to spend a few days with him next week in Amsterdam.  Yes, really.  That would never have happened in Stoke either.  I cannot get a few hours off for me to attend a meeting let alone to fly off to Amsterdam.  Also, I have not heard from him in over 9 months and then get this email.  Which is, well it is what it is.  I have replied to say thank you so much for thinking of me but I cannot reschedule at such short notice.  I received a reply back and like he says, I am sure that our paths will cross again one day. Random, totally random.

So a quiet day today.  It is grey in London and whilst I could drag myself off to an photographic exhibition I want to see at the Barbican, I am, instead, going to spend the day chilling and catching up on 'stuff', like writing up my blog. Plenty of boring, yet necessary, paperwork completed so I guess that is a plus.

Andy has 7 of his mates coming over.  I love his friends. They are such a great bunch of guys and they all like me.  He is playing a board game with them all day (yawn) so I am on door duty, letting them in as they buzz.  So the boys are in the lounge and I am in my room, but they all pop in to say hello, love them.  My life is very blessed.  

So all and all, it has been a brilliant weekend.  I have met another person who is so interesting and amusing and have laughed so much my ribs still ache. I have also proven to myself that anything is possible and the only person who has an issue about my insecurities, is me! I have also reminded myself that when I sparkle, I truly sparkle and being 29 and living in London is fantastic.

As always, with my love x