I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky, like a tiger defying the laws of gravity. I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva I'm gonna go go go. There's no stopping me (Don't Stop Me Now - Queen)

OK a month of Coldplay is enough!  Let's face it my mood has been low and even I was getting depressed with some of the lyrics I was posting.  So I thought I would liven it up a bit this month. So Queen it is. 

Queen reminds me of my first true love .... Michael Kelly.  He looked very much like Trevor Eve in the 70s and even now when I see Trevor Eve I think of Mike Kelly and when I hear Queen I have Michael Kelly to thank. He loved Queen.   He was the love of my life. But as we all know unrequited love is a bitch. Especially when you are 15.  I sent him a huge Valentine's Day card in which I wrote all the words to As by Stevie Wonder. Nothing. Then at the Steve Maxted Disco one night he copped off with Susan Trott and my world fell apart.  Well of course it didn't but it sure of hell felt like it at the time.

However, this track by Queen reminds me of happier times.  On her last day at Junior School, Megan and her friends sung this song. I have always loved Queen and this song and me being me, just stood and sobbed and sobbed. I was (and still am) so proud of her.  There they all were, ready to leave primary school and go into the big wide world and the words just seemed so appropriate.  However, I guess these words sum up my life now.  Funny how it all goes round and round in great big circles.  As always, enjoy! And Michael Kelly, if you are reading this do drop me a line!

Tuesday:  After such a brilliant weekend it was soon back down to earth with a God almighty crash back to the bloody 9.00-5.00. However, I was determined to run through my head those words that would make me internally giggle. Namely: Ben, Bear, Sophie, snow, Jason, Grayson, Prosecco, Leicester, laughter and anything else that would get me through the day.

It didn't work. I resigned. I sat there and thought 'I don't need this shit', texted Andy, wrote the briefest of resignation letters and that was it.  My boss was utterly gobsmacked. I told her I had an interview on Friday that I have had to turn down because she won't give me 2.5 hours TOIL and I feel that I have no alternative but just go. Not one person, even her, asked me if I had a good weekend. I have never worked in a place like it and never want to ever again. It is suppose to be a Charity, it is like no Charity I know.

So I do not have a job to go to.  I have an interview at 9.30 Tuesday morning so all positive thoughts would be gratefully appreciated and I have five other applications in. I will update my CV and send it to agencies. I do not want anyone in that place (except my Boss as she has to know) where I am going. If they can't ever ask me if I have children, have I booked to go anywhere on my annual leave, did I have a nice weekend then basically they can go fuck themselves. I really do not care if I work in the kiosk at London Zoo as long as the people I am working with are decent.  Bit decision that come easy in the end, considering I could have walked out on my second day in September last year.  I guess I have done well to last this long.  So there is a relief that it is coming to an end; however, I am a slightly anxious about what next.  Andy come home. I was in bed and he come in and we talked then he hugged me.  He rarely hugs me. I sobbed and sobbed.  I have to believe that this time will pass and all, eventually, one day, will be well.

Wednesday: I was awake at 5.00am, no surprise but had slept well. I have a mouth of ulcers and a sore throat; a result of too much snogging and gin the weekend!  Sigh (as she sniggers).

Exit interview completed - I was totally honest. If you don't want to know, then don't ask now when I am going!  So I have not even bothered to tell anyone because what is the point, they don't speak to me anyway, so they can find out when they find out.  I feel as if a great weight has been lifted and I know this will work out well - it has to!


So tonight it was back to yoga.  It is a shame as I love yoga but once again I was rather anxious about the legs over my head thing.  It was a smaller class today as it is half term I guess.  It is funny how the world comes to a complete standstill the minute the children are off school.

So the class was brilliant and I did well.  Then it gets to the bit I dread.  The tutor asked me if I wanted to use the ropes to ease myself nearer the wall and this really helped.  OK no shoulder stand but a lot better and I did not feel totally useless.  I spoke to the teacher afterwards and said will I be able to continue my yoga even though I cannot do the shoulder stands (and probably won't be able to afford it now I am not working) and he said it is fine and I will eventually get it.  He has more faith than I do.  But it was OK.  I guess my new mantra of Leicester, Leicester, Leicester is paying off.

Thursday:  So I have gone from having allegedly only having 4.5 annual leave owing (I knew this was wrong) to 9.5 days.  I will not be doing much more work. I feel I can breathe.  Two applications in tonight. That makes a total of 7 applications in and one interview on Tuesday. CV to agencies and a week off before I go to Barcelona.  I will get this sorted.  It is just another adventure.

Quiet evening after I had completed my homework and Andy and I sat back and watched Game of Thrones and some other 'stuff' we had recorded, well it was like live TV really as we watched back to back episodes of Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie!  

Friday:  So I have done the math and after today I have five more active days a work.  I have checked out.  It turns out that my Boss is off today as well. So that is why I could not have my 2.5 hours toil to go to my interview.  I found this out via an email last night; not even face to face.  I wonder why?!?! However, it is fine.  It just confirms to me that I have done the right thing and these people do not deserve my sparkle ......... not that I have really sparkled since I have been there.

It is so cold in London today.  I am going to work dressed down. Jeans, trainers and top as I am going up West lol tonight as I need to take a dress back.  I love London. All the shops are open until 21:00 tonight! How cool is that. So I thought I would go up town, mooch around and break up the evening.  

I caught the bus up to Marble Arch and fell totally head over heels in love with London again.  This city still totally amazes me and the opportunities it just keeps giving me.  Dress back and other stuff purchased, including my Euros for Barcelona, I finally go home around 8.45pm tired but very happy with how the week finally panned out.

As always, with my love x