I don't want my freedom. There's no reason for living with a broken heart. This is a tricky situation - I've only got myself to blame. It's just a simple fact of life It can happen to anyone. You win - you lose It's a chance you have to take with love. Oh yeah - I fell in love. But now you say it's over and I'm falling apart. (It's A Hard Life - Queen)

Oh Freddie feels my pain.  But he would, he's gay! Sigh. When you hear dear, sweet Freddie sign the above opening lines to this song, you can hear his pain. A wonderful song and I feel he was slightly conservative in his dress in this video.  Oh Freddie you and me would have had a blast (adds yet another gay man to her list. Remember, you know our Karen has always liked the gays) and as always, enjoy.

Monday: Such a beautiful morning in London and I will be able to walk to work with out a jacket for the first time this year.  It is also the first Monday morning that I have not felt anxious about what I was walking into. Presentation is completed and downloaded on a memory stick for tomorrow morning and tonight I will just relax.  Andy is working away tonight so I have the flat to myself.  The strange thing is that the more life-changing and huge decisions you make in your life, the easier things become. I guess it is because over the past five years (almost to the day now) my life has been one continual change that now I just accept this as the 'norm'.  Like my dear GP in Stoke said to me before I left .... 'if you keep doing the same thing then you will keep getting the same results.' So whilst I am slightly anxious about a new job, I am also so happy to be leaving this one. Yin and Yang. 

Day One of Five completed. The sun is shining and I am home alone tonight so just catching up with accounts and looking for jobs.  Had a lovely conversation with my friend Jackie in Stoke and I filled her in with all the details of the past few weeks - the good and the not so good.  But we finished laughing and that is always a good sign.  So presentation on memory stick, clothes out of the wardrobe all ready for the interview tomorrow.  Come on Universe, shine on me please.


Tuesday:  Slept surprisingly well considering Andy was not at home and the events of today.  Up, showered, dressed and caught the bus right outside my flat to a place near to Euston. Costa for a flat white pick me up (I was introduced to the flat white when I went to Sydney and now if I fancy milk this is my coffee of choice. Oh and Sydney has some of the best coffee I have ever tasted) and then off to my interview.  I do not get phased with interviews.  I had a brilliant teacher at Grammar School called Pat Wilson.  She was inspiring. She told us all that we should approach an interview knowing that the job was ours but do we actually want them to have our skills.  I have always carried this thought with me at every interview I have attended.  It is a shame I cannot use the same theory in much of the rest of my life.

Presentation went well and I answered many of the questions before they asked them, which is always a good sign.  We laughed and it was all very relaxed.  But, you never know.  I was first up and like to think I set the bar, but we shall see.  Back home two more applications sent off and two more ready to be printed by my PA (Andy) tomorrow.  However, London is very stormy this afternoon.  I do no like it.  That reminded me of the Prosecco debacle. I do not like it. The sky is full of storm and there has been a huge bolt of fork lightening right over The Shard.  I hope this is not a sign!  Well it was a sort of sign.  Email to invite me for another interview on 22 June for another position.  I am getting a positive feel about all this.  It's going to be OK.

Wednesday:  Just counting down the days.  It is funny how people want to speak to you when they want to find something out isn't it? I am telling them straight: it is none of their business where I am going, they have never been interested in me all the time I have been here, so don't bother asking now!


Good and bad news today.  I got an email to say I never got the job I went for yesterday.  I have to admit I am a tad disappointed, but it means that it was not where I needed to be.  I also received an invitation for another interview next Tuesday.  This was at the same place where the interview was last Friday that I was not allowed to attend because two people were off.  It is a different job but the same place. So fingers crossed for that one.  That one would be really good to get for so many reasons, of which I am not going into at this point.  So still feeling positive about it all.  At least I am getting interviews and more importantly, I am feeling a great deal better myself.  All is well.

Yoga was very hot, but very good.  I enjoy the class but if I am honest, it is a trek up there each week.  You can see how 'London' I have become. The tube fare is £5 before you start paying for each class (after my course has finished) fee of £15, makes it an expensive night out and one that I could only justify doing once a week.  I will continue with the course and the review the whole situation.  Needless to say, I was so tired when I got home, so it was a quick shower, piece of toast and bed; I slept so well. In fact, these days I am sleeping so much better.

Thursday: Oh yesterday I was told who would be taking over my role when I leave.  Was I surprised? Not one little bit, in fact I did say I would have put all the money I have in the bank on it being that person because that is what they wanted all along.  The Groovy Gang will be complete and they are welcome to it. Karma my friends, karma.

After work drinks tonight with my Meet Up Group and tonight it was a lovely pub up near Euston Station.  Some new faces which is always good and I got talking to a really nice guy who I shall call 'The Man'.  I really should not drink beer/lager.  I was doing so well then it all went down hill.  'The Man' told me that he went to another Meet Up Group called Gaming Men and Beer so I said oh my friend goes to a gaming group, what games do you play. He looked at me a bit confused and said he liked Monopoly. Oh says I my friend plays more geeky games.  So this conversation progressed for about ten minutes until 'The Man' says did you hear what I said? I said I went to a Gay Men and Beer Group. Yep a typical Karenism.  We did laugh.  So another new friend.  I said to Andy only I could go out and find a date for him and not me!!!! 

So I had a lovely veggie burger which was really tasty and a few more beers and lots of really interesting conversation.  It just reminds me that things are good, I am getting out and meeting people and all is well.  This is London a huge mixing pot of diverse and interesting people.  However, I do have to smile as obviously my vocation in life is meet Karen Mother of the Gays. It was a good night and I just love that group.

Friday:  So no work today because of all the annual leave.  Had a lazy start, typing up this blog.   I was met by a dead magpie in our garden.  I cannot help but think this is not good omen.  Caught the bus and got a free ride as the

Oyster Card machine was not working (this happens quite a lot) and was planning on going to the Museum of London, however, change of plans and got of at the Southbank and went along to take a look.  Today was the start of Meltdown. This festival takes part every year and is hosted by a person.  This year it is the lovely Guy Garvey from Elbow.  No sign of Guy.  I also found out that he got married last week (sigh, another opportunity taken from my grasp) to Diana Rigg's daughter - I think I will just give up now.  Not much happening so walked over to the Playhouse Theatre to get Andy and I some tickets to see 1984.


Now, you may recall Olivier was (and still is) working on this production and I was going to have free tickets.  However, when Olivier decided that he did not want to date, well he did not know what he wanted to do to be honest, I knew the freebies would be no more.  That aside, I wanted to see this play last year so I thought what the heck.  Lovely guy behind the ticket office (gay - I am gong to count every guy man I come across as I am sure I am meeting more than Andy!).  I then decided to take a walk along memory lane.  I walked from the Embankment Tube through the gardens, passing the Savoy and I had to

smile as I always promised my Meg that I would take her there for lunch one day.  This was when she was in her highchair trying to finger feed herself and got in a terrible state. This was my route to work back when I first left school.  I walked to Temple Gardens and sat, in the sunshine, reading my book.  I saw a guy meditating. I love this city. No one noticed; no one cared. He was in his zone. Happy.

I left the park and walked up past my old office, which is now be converted into luxury flats - no surprise there then.  Past Australia House that fed that dream of mine to one day visit Australia and then over my favourite bridge - Waterloo and back to where I started, the South Bank. Still no sign of the recently married Guy (not that I am not happy for him ..... sigh) and then I saw a small exhibition about Guy.  In the cabinet was a small Chinese cigarette case. This will probably not mean anything to any of you.  One of Elbow's albums is called The Seldom Seen Kid and the

exhibition stated that his was in fact a guy called Bryan Glancy who Guy used to go drinking with at a bar called The Temple in Manchester and the Chinese cigarette case belonged to him. A line, in the song, Grounds for Divorce, which itself is a track that I adore and played many times when I was going through my horrible time in my room. Anyway, back to the point, in the song Grounds of Divorce there is a line that states 'There is a Chinese cigarette case and the rest you can keep' and Bryan gave Guy this cigarette case, hence the line. I liked this, I liked this a lot. A song with words than are personal. But that is why I like Elbow.

Back home and I lay on my bed and fell asleep for an hour and woke up when Andy come home. Quiet evening watching Game of Thrones and Ab Fab. Plenty of laughter and all good stuff.

As always, with my love x