Each morning I get up I die a little, can barely stand on my feet (take a look at yourself). Take a look in the mirror and cry Lord what you're doing to me (Find Me Somebody To Love - Queen)

Remember: 8 million people in London (plus traffic passing through); 4 million men, probably only 500,000 straight, half of them married ......... is it any wonder I do not do math!  As always, Freddie feels my pain.  Enjoy!

Saturday: It is so warm today.  Our flat gets so hot.  All the windows are open and it is still like a sauna.  I cannot keep my window open at night as the traffic is so noisy, so most mornings I wake up in a hot, sweaty bed ..... how divine is that? I wouldn't mind if someone was sharing it with me!  So today, when Andy goes out, I will do semi-naked housework.  It is the future you know.

I was watching the Trooping of the Colour on the TV and then saw the planes fly over, right outside of my window.  It was amazing. It was really impressive and got to see them before the Queen. So chores done it was time to complete more application forms.  I cannot tell you how time consuming they can be. However, I two third completed two so felt that was enough for one day, plus I had a stonking headache.  Not sure if that was a result of the paperwork or the warm, muggy weather again.  Either way, enough was enough.  I sat back and watched Death on the Nile.  I have seen this film countless times but do you know what, I did't care.  I had no intention of going out today, so it seemed the OK thing to do.

To be honest, by now I wished I had gone out somewhere.  I always do this! But now it is 18:15 and my hair is a mess so I can't be bothered.  But it is all

good as it doesn't hurt now and then to keep busy at home.  So tonight it was football, England at the Euros.  Back in my past life football played a huge part. I met JF at Italia 90, well not in Italy, but in a pub in Newquay and I guess that set a precedent of what would follow.  Every year since then, we as a family, celebrated the ups and many, many, many downs of the England team.  We used to put the flag out of the window, stock up on the beers, get the nachos and pizza and scream at the TV.  I remember the first time I watched an England game at home on my own after my terrible time.  It was sad and felt strange, but I have always continued to keep the faith.  So last night I poured myself a huge glass of dry white and made a toast to Megan and JF, wherever they are and wished them well and told them to enjoy the match. I smiled.  Liked Andy said it is important to remember the good times.

Andy come home and found me screaming at the TV with a wine glass in my hand.  Talk about role reversal.  He's not interested in football and turned into my usual gobby self.  So as usual, we did not win.  Andy and I then watched the film Deadpool and it really was a funny and good film.  I really enjoyed it. I guess I am slowly turning into a geek.

Sunday:  This week I have spent more on coffee and alcohol than I have on food.  In my cupboard I have four vegan stock cubes, two bags of coffee, a jar of mayonnaise, three tins of beans, some wheatabix, noodles and tomato

ketchup.  What a sorry state of affairs.  There is also some additional balancing that needs adjusting in my life as I have met more gay men this week than Andy. Welcome to London living.  I would be hard pressed to cook anything with that.  Caught the bus and up to meditation and once again it was very quiet. I was talking to a woman who attends who names sounds like I know her. Anyway, she is Spanish so I was telling her about my forthcoming trip to Barcelona. She suggested that I catch a train and go further south to find better beaches.  She suggested Stiges. I sighed and reminded her that Stiges is the gay capital of Barcelona! We did giggle.  No don't get me wrong and I do not want to be labelled as a homophobic FW, but only I would rock up in Barcelona and end up in gay town. I will not be going to Stiges. My friends Hannah and Emma turned up and we meditated and then decided to go to Islington.  We had a lovely walk, in the rain, along the canal to Islington, chatting and laughing.  They really are such two lovely women and I feel so privileged and lucky to have them as my dear friends.  

First stop was Paul A Young chocolates.  Now Hannah and Emma are beautifully formed - you may remember these were my friends who recently run the London Marathon.  We opened the door and straight away I put on 4lbs. I just love this shop at Camden Passage.  I had seen on Twitter that they had created a new chocolate for the summer which was a Pimms Cocktail chocolate based as in Pimms, cucumber, mint and strawberry. Absolutely amazing.   So I had a bag of six chocolates (one for Andy) and resisted the temptation to buy up all the shop.  The staff are always so lovely in this shop and would highly recommend a visit anytime you are passing.  Such a lovely treat.

Emma and I went to Pret for a drink whilst Hannah went to get some clothes as they are both off to Italy tomorrow for their holiday.

Emma and I had a good giggle talking about men and sex and all that stuff. Hannah then joined us and we continued the conversation.  So funny and such a good laugh.  They really are such beautiful souls.  We then went our separate ways and I nipped into Sainsbury's to stock up.  Well when I say stock up I purchased some butter, fruit juice and a jar of marmalade which now sits on its own, in my food cupboard next to the vegan stock cubes.

I had such a lovely afternoon with the girls and the time just flew by. Bus home and back to the flat to the absolutely awful news of the gun shooting well massacre, of people in a gay night club in Orlando.  This news makes me so sad for so many reasons.  I just wish America would wake up! They call themselves a civilised nation. Really!  Pointless, totally pointless.  I know I am a dreamer and can't for the life of me understand why we just can't all get along together.  We are all walking this journey.  Terrible.  The LGBTQ community is not my community as such, but I feel that I am an honorary member.  Love is love.  It is that simple.

As always, with my love x