The more you see the less you know, the less you find out as you go. I knew much more then than I do now and I miss you when you're not around (The City of Blinding Lights - U2)

So as promised, we are carrying on with the U2 theme for January - pure self indulgence for which I make no apologies.  This song is apt because on New Year's Eve the City of London looked so beautiful with the fireworks.  U2 wrote this song after they toured the US just after the 11 September attacks.  Bono looked at the crowd and said 'Oh you look so beautiful tonight', which is the chorus of this song.  London looked so beautiful in all her glory at midnight.  The sky was alight with light. Also, the opening lines, which I have quoted speak volumes for me.  As I get older and my life has changed I have learnt and changed so much; yet there is still so much I need to know.   So I thought this song sums it up a treat.  Enjoy!

Monday:  A day off, but no lying in bed for me today.  Today I have a date. A grown up, proper date at 10.00am   (yes you did read that right) at   the Millennium Bridge by the Tate Modern.  Even if the date wasn't a success, the rendevouz location was rather special. Well, as always, I spectacularly fucked that up! Andy says we are all damaged.  We are.  We may not think that of ourselves, but he is right.  I am damaged.  Damaged by past wrongs and injustices and no matter now much I try not to drag them along with me, I do and it is wrong of me, but I do it.  It's that trust thing!

I went for a walk along the South Bank, my favourite place and something really quite bizarre happened.  I was going to sit on my favourite bench, but it was wet.  Then all of a sudden from nowhere a female Buddhist monk appeared. She approached me and gave me card, an amulet, a card, which the words 'work smoothly, lifetime peace' were printed on it. She also handed me some prayer beads.  She obviously wanted some money for them, but I only had £1.10 in change as I had already given a homeless guy a quid as I was feeling bad about the earlier events.  She smiled, gave me a book and told me to write my first name then peace.  I have her the £1.10, she smiled and put her hands together and bowed and said Namaste; I did the same and then she was gone.  It really was quite surreal.  I put the bracelet on and put my purse away and I could not see her, she had gone.  I really do not know what I make of this if I am honest. The were other people around but she had not obviously stopped to speak to them; she approached me.  So I have Googled it and of course it is scam.  Articles about it from Australia, Germany and the States.  People giving loads of money, not like me £1.10.  No wonder she looked.  But it still is rather strange don't you think? Many of you know the significance of a Buddhism in my life. Crazy! It can only happen to me.

Back at the flat and made some soup for work for the week and then did some of my colouring.  I bought a colouring book and pencils today.  I always liked colouring as a child and it is the 'in hipster thing now' to do.  So I thought what the heck.  I actually quite enjoyed myself, sitting at the table colouring away. It is a form of meditation.  Focussing on the here and now.  Had a What's App counselling session with Andy who told me the truth; which I already knew and as always, he is the only bloke I know who is right and tells me what I don't want to hear that's why I love him! We are both on a health kick at the moment.  This day three and I have just said to him 'are we slim now?' We are not.  We both live in an instantaneous world so why isn't this weight loss quicker?  I did explain to him that I have been on this journey for the past 29 years I have been on Planet Earth.  I must nearly be there now.

Tuesday: So back to the 9.00-5.00 (miserable face). I did check my work phone just in case there was an email to say don't bother; there wasn't!  So that done and dusted and I decided to take a detour on the way home. This is the disadvantage of not having a commute, there is not much to see.

Quiet night, watching some TV, reading and listening to music.  I am tired tonight but hey all is good.

Wednesday:  Interesting start to the morning (nothing to do with the 9.00-5.00).  I guess I have to grab those little gems as and when I can and this morning I opened the box on my shoulder and it was OK, in fact it gave me confirmation that hey, yes I did do a good job! Very cryptic but some of you may be able to figure it out.

I decided that I was going to give myself a quiet night tonight. Lovely chat to my friend Jackie on the phone and then just kicked back. It is obviously the post Christmas period now; when no one has any money and nothing much is happening.  Most people are skint or ill and it as if Christmas never really happened. I guess this is why I am normally planning to go East this time of the year.  Well not this year ........... but I am off somewhere!

Thursday:  It is a long week this week!  Are you feeling it too?  It is definitely that post Christmas meh!  However, did notice tonight that the evenings are getting slightly, just slightly, lighter.  This is day 6 of the New Year Health Kick ...... sigh!  Actually, it is a great deal easier doing it with someone.  Andy and I have been planning our meals and both of us have, surprisingly, been remarkably good.  Andy has been out a couple of times with his friends and has been an angel.  I have to smile every time I say or spell the word angel as someone once sent me a thank you card for supporting them (via work) through a difficult time.  It said you are a little angle.  Obviously an acute angle ......... think about it!  The weekly weigh in is Sunday morning.  I can feel your excitement from here!

Friday:  It has been a long week; and I had Monday off! 9.00-5.00 done and dusted and home I trotted.  Nothing planned tonight, but that is OK. Sat and watched Coronation Street and what a downer that was.  Six people on Corrie copped off.  Even the mingers got a date/shag/snog.  Roy's Rolls Cafe was the orgy hot spot of the north.  I am moving from London and returning to the cobbled streets of Manchester to live on Coronation Street. At least I will be guaranteed a date.  Or as someone reminded me more chance of being murdered.  But like I reminded them, they don't know my neighbourhood in London.

So a fairly quiet week but all good.  London is coming back to life.  The cyclists are in their plenty every morning.  The flights are still coming into Heathrow and the numerous building sites in my neighbourhood are back to life.  The weather has been dull and cold but I still have my sparkle and all is well.

As always, with my love x