You're on the road, but you've got no destination. You're in the mud, in the maze of your imagination. You love this town, even if that doesn't ring true. You've been all over and it's been all over you (Beautiful Day - U2)

How many of you read the title to this weekend's blog and actually started to sing it?  I would love to know.  It is one of U2's classics. It's A Beautiful Day. This song has so many wonderful lines in the lyrics, it was difficult to choose which one to use.  But I thought the ones above kind of sum up me at the moment.  But more about that later.  The meaning, apparently, of this song is about a person who thought they had found loved but their world was turned upside down.  They could not live in the town where they lived and had to get away ......... sounding familiar?  It is about losing everything; but finding joy in what you still have; such as it is a beautiful day, don't let it get away!

Saturday:  I woke up at 9:30! I had a restless night's sleep but woke totally confused; that feeling of not knowing where you are or what time it is.  Andy was just on his way out!  This would never have happened in past life.  It is an OK day, weather wise, but in U2's world and mine, it is a beautiful day.  But I am restless.  I do not 'do' winter very well.  I never have and normally by now I am planning to fly East to get some sunshine.  That is not happening this year. Also, I had to give myself a talking to (I do this, it is ok) this week about doing the same old thing and therefore getting the same old results.  Cryptic I know, but hopefully it will all come clear in the next few months.  So today I need to spend some time on paperwork and finding a way to a new destination. But the song is right, I love this town and in my case, yes it does ring true!

The paperwork never got done. I seized the moment and went on a date! The little devil that I have become.  I caught the bus to the Southbank as the weather was vile.  On the bus and just as I was getting off, a woman got on and started to preach to us all.  I have witnessed this before since arriving in London.  She wished her captive audience all Happy New Year and then started to say that God loves us but we are all full of sin.  Sigh!  One couple got up and moved upstairs on the bus.  Another couple, tourists, just sat there totally bemused by the scenario being played out in front of them.  I got off the bus saying to the tourists 'Welcome to London' and hoping that her declaration that I was full of sin was not an omen for the afternoon to come!

Met my date, who I shall call McBeal and we went for tea at the National Theatre cafe. I do have to pinch myself at times that even going for a date in London is nothing like meeting up Hanley duck by the clock! I had a great afternoon, full of fun, laughter, intelligent conversation and stories. McBeal is returning to work in China at the beginning of March.  He has worked extensively out there before and is now returning.  He comes from Manchester originally and you are going to love the next bit, went to school with my lovely Guy Garvey from Elbow and considers him as 'one of his mates'.

We went to a pub near to where he is living for dinner and plenty of gin and carried our chatting, laughing and swapping stores of our travels.  He has travelled to so many places and highly recommends that I try to get to the Cook Islands when I eventually go to New Zealand to see my dear friend Jackie. It was just so great to be with someone who just 'gets it'.  Not many of you will understand what I mean by that, but I needed to be reminded that there are still people out there who 'get it' and McBeal is one of them.  He told me about a book, one of his favourites, called Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy.  The quote I loved the most is:

'The universe is no narrow thing and the order within it is not constrained by any latitude in its conception to repeat what exists in one part in any other part. Even in this world more things exists without our knowledge and with it and the order in creation which you see is that which you have put there, like a string in a maze so that you shall not loose your way.  For existence has its own order and that no man's mind can compass, that mind itself being but a fact among others'

McBeal and I had a great conversation about modern day dating. He told me about an ethnic group in China called the Mosuo.  This is a matriarchal society, where women live in their own individual homes and their roles are to clean the house, cook and feed the animals. The men live outside together and it is their role to fish, hunt and slaughter the animals.  Mosuo women have 'walking marriages' or 'visiting relations'.  There are no husbands or wives, relationships are based on mutual attraction.  Men are invited by the women, after dark, to come and spend some time with her and then they return back with the other blokes in the morning. The Mosuo women can have as many sexual relationships as they want.  Any children who are conceived are raised in the mother's home and female family.  Now, this sounds like the kind of relationship I need ......... 

I needed to be reminded by the universe that all is well, people are out there. Riches are not just monetary but come in many shapes and forms.  McBeal has restored my faith and this has been confirmed again, by a line from the same book:

'The truth about the world he said, is that anything is possible'

Indeed it is, indeed it is.  It is ironic, don't you think that I chose this title for this weeks blog.  Thank you Universe for listening and for sending me someone as a reminder that all is well.

Sunday:  Needless to say I did now wake early which resulted in me not able to attend my mediation group (again) as there was no way I was able to get there

with the time I had.  Went to do some food shopping and then cooked a Sunday lunch.  This afternoon I watched Asif Kapadia's documentary film Amy which has just been nominated for a BAFTA.  It shows the life of Amy Winehouse, from her late teens up until her death in 2011.  It was tragic.  A lost old soul, in a young, vulnerable body. She was never meant to see old bones. Amazing voice and such potential but the documentary showed how she become a cash cow to those in her life, except some very close friends who just wanted her to be their old friend Amy. If you can get to see it, I would highly recommend it. I had a £15 Amazon voucher to use up so treated myself to some new music: Amy, Guy and Elbow. Kind of seemed the right thing to do.

Today I commented on a post by The Guardian.  It was about David Cameron (sigh) wanting to encourage people to parent their children and how funding for this will be found.  I was furious.  I worked for a charity that supported parents in their own home to parent their children.  Exactly what he was banging on about introducing.  However, back in 2011, I lost my job of 12 years because of him cutting the funding! So I posted this on The Guardian post.  To date, I have had 1076 likes!  So I am feeling rather smug I must say.  

So an interesting weekend.  The good things about being singe, and trust me there are many (as well as some disadvantages), are you can do whatever you want; anything is possible.  When opportunity comes your way, just grasp it and go with it.  I have met so many interesting people since I have come to London. People who have done the most amazing things.  So don't be a prisoner in the maze of your own imagination.  Remember:  Anything is possible.

As always, with my love x