Sinatra was swinging, All the drunks they were singing We kissed on a corner Then danced through the night (Fairytale of New York - Kirsty MacColl)

So the final song from Kirsty.  I could not go without mentioning this one.  OK so it is not Christmas but who cares, it is a brilliant song and there were so many lyrics I could have used from it. However, I decided on this one as it is kind of significant.  As always, enjoy.

Monday: Thank goodness I was working from home this morning.  I got home at 8.00, showered, dressed and at my 'desk' aka the dining room table for 8.55am go me.  OK thank goodness I did not have to Skype but topped up on caffeine and the day soon passed.  I felt a bit emotional about the weekend's events, in a good way. Just a bit taken back by it to be honest. I guess it is that faith is restored in something that was so scary for so long. I should have guessed I had no one to rely on to be able to talk about how I was feeling.

Was out after work. I have signed up for a new course but more about that next week.  Got back to the flat and attempted to catch up with Andy, who was more interested in his PC. He was 'listening' but not asking anything. I cut the conversation short and sat and listened to his weekend and what he had been up to.  I went to bed. No girls available to catch up with; all busy with their lives and crisis.  I should have realised really.

Tuesday:  Thinking a lot today and I know it is related to the course I have started.  Grayson said to me on Saturday night that he knew from meeting me the last time that I was a giver.  Summed me up didn't he. I explained I was an ENFJ in the Myres Briggs Test http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/ which basically makes me a giver. The trouble with givers is they can be taken advantage of by takers. I listen to others, I give time to others, I respond to others yet the first time in five years I felt something that I had not felt for five years, no one was around. I had no one talk to about how I as feeling.  So what are my options? Toughen up? Well let's face it, if had to toughen up I would have done so a few years back.  So tonight I have just gone to my room.  There is no point. We discussed last night 'what would a wise person do?' I am not wise, far from it. What should I do?  I should tell people how they have made me feel, but I won't.  I will go quiet (which I have done all day today) and I will think and I will keep my thoughts and my feelings to myself.  So if any of you know a giver, just stop and think that they may need to receive now and then.

Wednesday: A new dawn, new day and threw myself head first into work.  Busy, busy day but all well.  I had to work late to facilitate a meeting.  Andy and I had a good talk and all is now well on that, thank goodness.  I hate it when things are strained.  All is well.

Thursday:  Another busy day at work, back to back meetings and my first 1-2-1 which went really well.  I have been given the green light to work on two projects that are really dear to my heart, which in itself is brilliant.  Tonight The Fall was back on TV with the lovely Jamie Dornan in it.  I loved this series and couldn't wait for it to come back on.  The gorgeous Jamie did not do much in this episode to be honest, but he did spend most of it in a coma.  Saying that, I know of people who spend half of their lives in a coma and still function.  

Friday:  Busy day today eating cake.  It was Macmillan Coffee Morning and I was off to a woman's house in south east London to attend her coffee morning. Andy rocked along with me and we ended up at this block of flats trying to get into Kirsty's coffee morning whilst being surrounded by squirrels and a rather strange woman just shouting Page.  Of course we did.  Why are any of you surprised.  Needless to say we left without cake, which in hindsight was probably a good thing.  By now we were really hungry as we had not had any breakfast. Caught the bus back down to Bermondsey and ended up in really lovely place called The Garrison where boyo had french toast, berries, fat cream and maple syrup and I had eggs royale.  It was lovely and we were stuffed. Lovely place and I want to go back there for dinner one evening.

We then went the Bermondsey Square Hotel for their coffee morning (in the name of work I have you know). It was so lovely and Gemma the Community Manager there had baked some cakes and other members of staff had donated some too.  We explained who we were and I spent some time talking to Gemma who suggested I come and worked one day a week in the hotel (free of charge) with free coffee and also if I need a meeting room or quiet space for meetings she could arrange that too!  I just love my job.

Back home and a back to work, feeling rather stuffed but was very productive surprisingly.  Tonight I was out with PPLP my French friend.  We have not seen each other for ages since he moved to the sticks.  We met at Waterloo and went to the South Bank and caught up on all the news.  He has a girlfriend now and seems to be really happy.  It was so good to see him again and we just picked up where we had left off.  

As always, enjoy x