Since we're skimming the surface darling Now's time to get in deep You've opened up the envelope But there's still one secret you keep (Show Me - ABC)

Well I did warn you that I love this album, it is one of my favourites of all time and this track is no exception.  Great music and wonderful lyrics. As always, enjoy!

Monday:  'It's a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts to go okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces' - Bridget Jones

I should have this quote tattooed on my arm.  Today I was interviewing, so I wore my new dress and looked, even if I say so myself, really smart. I got to work and all was well. Went to the toilet and boom, my back gave way on me (again). Two years ago this happened and it took me 45 minutes to crawl upstairs to my bed, whilst Andy was screaming down the phone that he was going to call an ambulance.  I had never known pain like it. Today was not much better. I must have looked ghastly as when I returned to my desk people were asking if I were OK. I wasn't.  It is my fault. I said to Andy on Sunday that life is good at the moment. A job I adore, our lovely flat and home, friends and a kind of sort of relationship thing with Grayson. Then this.  

I got through the day (I could have gone home but didn't) and then went to my room and dosed myself up with even more painkillers and even took two diazepam and slept. I did not move all night.  This really is not what I need right now and really wish I could just be given a break ..... not literally.

Tuesday:  This morning I cried. I was in pain and Andy was being so caring. He is not my carer, he is not family, he is not my partner. He is my friend. He helped me do some things before he went to work love him and I tried to sit at the table but it was too uncomfortable so sat on my bed and made time to walk around the flat every 30 minutes.  I also found some slow release ibuprofen that someone gave me last time my back gave way so I took one of them.

I am not saying anything. However, as the day has gone on things have got slightly easier, however the side affects from the bucket load of painkillers I took on Monday were rather unpleasant but may result in weight loss. Every cloud my friends; every cloud!

So tonight I was faced with an ethical dilemma and one that I needed to do. Andy had a friend fly in from the States (long story, not going into it) who was travelling with a friend.  I did not want Andy to be outnumbered so I took one for the team. Drugged myself up with everything I had, put on some make up and met the three of them for dinner.  Sigh. Americans. From Florida - of course, there is only one state in that bloody country! I had heard so much about this bloke and I was not disappointed, he's lovely. His travelling companion was a woman who had never left the States before!  Anyway, he thought I sounded posh in comparison to Andy which did make me giggle and he brought me some Reece's and some sweets called Tootsie Roll which I did point out to him means feet roll over here!  Americans. Sigh. 

We ended up at Wahaca as you know my friends, is one of my favourite places. No tequila for me. I was tripping on all painkillers as it was let alone adding alcohol to the mix.  But a lovely evening and it was good to see Andy's friend after all these years.  I said my goodbyes early as I was beginning to feel rather uncomfortable but I was so pleased I made it there for my friend for some moral support.

Wednesday:  The week is flying by, however the fact that I am drugged up may have something to do with that.  Needless to say, I am still working. Actually got quite a bit done today.  Tonight we are hosting the American who I shall call Thomas so that you do not get him muddled up with the American. Even though he is American.  So chip shop tea in my room, on my bed, cutting down on the painkillers.  It was good to meet Thomas though, I have heard so much about him and he was lovely.  Quick catch up with Andy before bed and that was it, Wednesday over and done with.

Thursday:  No diazepam last night but slept ok and actually turned on my side at a couple of points.  Quiet morning working at home.  Andy is off to Manchester this lunchtime with work and I am taking the afternoon as TOIL. So a really lazy day.  To say I am fed up with this now is a slight understatement.

Friday:  One of the best aspects of my new job is that I get to meet some amazing, inspirational and strong people.  Today was no exception. However, the bus journey there and back leaved a lot to be desired.  So it is Friday. No plans tonight but I am now officially going cabin crazy, so tomorrow I am out!

Hopefully, normal service shall be resumed next week.  

As always, with my love x