Hide on the promenade, etch a postcard. How I dearly wish I was not here. This is the coastal town, that they forgot to close down (Everyday Is Like Sunday - Morrissey)

I guess I had to chose this one for a wet Bank Holiday weekend in England. Once again Morrissey sums it up a treat. I bet you will be singing along before we get to the end.  As always, enjoy!

Friday:  Once again I was awake at 5.00am.  I did manage to get off to sleep again around 6.15am then woke at 9.45am to a beautiful spring morning in London.  Lazy start to the day, then off out to walk to the nearest big supermarket which is about a 20-25 minute walk.  Had a mooch around there and treated myself to a new jacket and top and some nice food for dinner and back home on the bus with three bags of shopping.  Fortunately, as it was a Bank Holiday the bus was quiet and I managed to get a seat.

I spent the afternoon in my room as I was not feeling well again. I cannot get rid of this rotten cough I have. It has been hanging around for ages now and is really getting me down.  A strange thing happened today.  Well not strange

Bangkok 2014

really as it is me for goodness sakes.  I noticed that my friend Daniel, who I met two years ago in Bangkok, then last year in Siem Reap was posting from Brighton, where I was planning on going either today or tomorrow (weather permitting).  You could not make it up.  Of all the places in the world, but any of you who know me know that this is normal in my life.  So tomorrow I am going to Brighton, which, let's face it is not going to help the 'I do not need any more guy men in my life' campaign as Brighton is the UK's gay seaside capital. Hopefully, Daniel will still be in town as that would be totally amazing. But he is a free spirit. I guess once again the

Siem Reap 2015

Universe will decide. But it has amazed me that out of the blue there he is in Brighton of all places. No other seaside town on the south coast but the one place that I have been aiming to get to since I have moved back South.

There are stranger things happening my friends than those we just chose to see.

Saturday:  Guess what? I was awake early again.  I was at London Bridge on the 9.10am to Brighton.  The journey only took one hour and there I was, in Brighton.  Today I was meeting Daniel.  I was so excited as I turned to corner to the road where we were meeting.  I walked in the Nero's and there he was. We hugged; I cried.  We just hugged and hugged.  He introduced me to his

Brighton 2016

travelling companion Amy.  We spent hours just chatting and I really do not expect any of you go get the next bit, but I could just feel the energy around us three. I was so meant to meet this person, I truly, truly believe this.  Amy wants to stay in Europe; Daniel wants to, and belongs, in Asia. It was time for us to go our separate ways again.  Each time we part I always say to him 'until next time my friend'.  

I left, emotionally exhausted, confused, feeling loved, understood and alone. I made my way down the Lanes to the sea front and said hello to my dear friend the sea.  It was so windy today and the sea was angry and I loved it. I got some chips and sat in shelter on the sea front (very much like the one in Morrissey's video at the start of this blog) eating my lunch and watching the children pass me by. I started to think of my Meg and that compounded to the confusion and emotion.  I walked along the beach, feeling the wind and salt in

my face and onto the pier.  It was so windy. I stayed in Brighton and eventually got home around 18:00.  I really liked Brighton and will be going there again.  I think it was challenging because I was so pleased to see Daniel and it is like finding a kindred spirit when I am with him.  I do not have to explain, he gets it. Then I was confronted with my previous life being played out by anonymous families. I will figure it out.  All I do know is I will see Daniel again.  I am just not sure what continent it will be next time. Safe travels my friend, safe travels.

Sunday:  So this morning I am blogging 'live' from the Trew Era Cafe.  I have decided that I have some paperwork to do and there is no better place for positive energy and peace than here.  So I have dragged my laptop up on the bus and will be working out form here for the afternoon.  Hopefully, with the love and positive energy that surrounds this place, I will be in a good position to complete my necessary, yet annoying, paperwork.  

Lunch at Trew Era

Home, missing the hailstones, tempest and storm and had a lovely Skype chat with my friend Sarah who is now in Santiago in Chile.  How cool is that.  It was amazing.  It was as if she was in the next room, well apart from the dodgey forest wallpaper.  We had a good old natter and it was so great to speak with her and hear about her travels.  We said that we will definitely hook up again in the next few weeks.  I left her going to get some lunch, well an ice cream, whilst I hang around the flat.  

Finally, this evening, I took some Covonia cough mixture. I should not take it because of the other medication I am on, but to be honest, I am totally exhausted by the whole thing now and could have quite easily taken the diazepam so a few swigs out of the Covonia bottle was tame.  I said to Andy how awful that would be to actually die and be found overdosing on Covonia.

Monday:  I did not die.  In fact, under the circumstances I had a good nights sleep.  The Covonia is obviously loosening the rubbish on my chest so I will carry on self-medicating with stuff I should not really be taking.  Vacuumed the flat and tidied up (as you do) and we both awaited for the arrival of the new TV. Our TV, which is Andy's TV is seeing better days and it is just a matter of time before it dies.  I saw a Bank Holiday offer at Curry's and the top and bottom of it is we have purchased a new TV.  Seriously, we are like an old married couple. We now have joint assets. We own a TV, a DVD player, a box set of the West Wing and Sex and the City, six portions of salmon and a bag of rice macaroni. It's a match made in heaven, a solicitor's dream.  Andy said if we 'divorce' he will eat the salmon and rice macaroni out of sheer spite.  What he does not know is, I will replace the box sets with episodes of Storage Wars UK Series One.

So that was Easter.  Completely different to last year.  Last Easter (which fell a week later) I moved to London.

As always, with my love x

There's a place in the sun for anyone who has the will to chase one and I think I have found mine. Yes, I do believe I have found mine (Let Me Kiss You - Morrissey)

So this week I am using the lyrics of a song by Morrissey.  Love him (I do and Marmite) or hate him you can't beat a good song.  I love how he sings this song so gentle and the lyrics are so moving.  As always, enjoy!

Monday: Today would have been my dear old Dad's 82 birthday. He died a year older than I am now. That scares me when I think all that he missed and how he was at my age.  I always have flowers for my Dad in the flat. In fact, I have always done this since he died. No matter how difficult money may be, I always find some to buy him some flowers.  He normally has yellow roses or white lillies and today will be no different.  The only problem is, living where I do buying flowers is not always that easy. So after the most awful day at work (nothing to do with me but awful nonetheless) I made my way finally to Guy's Hospital and sat in my little pew in the chapel.  It gives me some comfort (and pain). I lit my candles and started my walk home.

Andy had known about the awful events at work and had a stiff gin and tonic waiting!  What more can a girl want? Well dinner was cooked too. So we just chilled whilst drinking our gin and reflecting on the day's events.  Tomorrow is another day.

Tuesday:  Awake before the alarm clock again. I have to admit, yesterday's events at work are playing on my mind and the extra work it has resulted in. I will be on it today and get it all sorted the best I can. I do not like things over my head, especially when it is not my stuff in the first place.  

Then the stark reality of 'real' life hits home.  Terrorist attacks in Belgium.  The place I visited four weeks ago.  It is so sickening to see places you sat and had coffee watching the world go by, now in total lock-down.  Awful.  It reminds me again how fragile we are and how, with a blink of an eye, so much can change.

After work this evening I was off to the theatre.  I met Andy, his work colleague Cathy and his friend Dan at The Ivy Market Grill.  This was my choice of restaurant and even if I say so myself, the girl did good.  All four of us had a scrumptious dinner and I will definitely go back and eat here again. Then we made our way down to the Strand as tonight we were going to see Kinky Boots. We have been waiting a long time to see this and trust me, all four of us were not disappointed.

Kinky Boots is based on the film with the same name that was based on a true story of  Northampton shoe manufacture who was facing closure. However, they found a niche in the market making boots for women who are men dressed like women!  It was a really good show and the music was co-written by Cyndi Lauper.  The actor who played Lola had the most amazing voice and could certainly dance; such energy.  I can thoroughly recommend this show for anyone who wants a fun night out at the theatre.

Wednesday: I have once again congratulated myself by not murdering anyone today.  Back home and I sorted out my monthly finances ......... sigh! Andy had not had a good day at the 9-5 either so it was just a quiet night in.  I did have some tentative travel plans for the weekend but I have just seen the weather forecast and of course it is not looking good, it is a Bank Holiday! 

Thursday: Awake at 5.00am! Really! I am still not feeling well. I am rarely ill and I am getting exhausted by all this now.  Thank goodness tomorrow is a Bank Holiday. All of my colleagues have booked at least one day's annual leave and I really wished I had done the same now. But I do not like wasting my leave and I do not like taking it when the place is full of children either.

After work drinks tonight with one of my Meet Up group.  It was fairly local but got the bus and wished I hadn't.  The traffic was horrendous.  In the end I got off the bus and walked.  Lovely evening (even though I felt absolutely awful) and they pub sold the beer I enjoyed in Belgium.  But I have to ask myself am I always going to be surrounded by gay men.

The guy behind the bar was lovely, so polite and gay! The second time I went up to get another drink he had remembered me and what I had drunk and said that I had a lovely smile. Well it is either that or that I am cool! But he was gay.  I could be going out for a brunch on Saturday with Andy and his friend; who are all gay.  Don't get me wrong, I am certainly not a homophobe, far from it, but I seem to be surrounded by gay men everywhere I look.  Even one of the guys I get on well with at work is Spanish and oh yes gay!  I was going to Brighton tomorrow but those of you who do not know it, Brighton is the gay seaside capital. Sigh!  I often thought my ex was gay. The signs were always there. Flowery shirts, music such as Erasure, Pet Shop Boys, Kylie and Mikka.  I really hope the Universe is listening to this and will do something to restore the balance soon.  

As always, with my love x

I would go out tonight but I haven't got a stitch to wear (This Charming Man - The Smiths)

Well I should be going out tonight, but it is not because I haven't got a stitch to wear it is because I still have not got a voice! You all all know this song. I bet man of you started to sing this song when you read the line. A Smith's classic. As always, enjoy!

Saturday:  So no voice.  I said to Andy last thing before I went to bed, that if he goes to get his hair cut in the morning could he bring me back an avocado for my breakfast. I then joked oh and some sough bread too.  He laughed and said you are so middle class.  I had a terrible nights sleep and finally woke around 10.00. I had two messages from Andy. He had gone to get his hair cut and was on his way to Borough Market where he bought some avocados, some of my favourite mushroom pate (you can only buy it at Borough Market) and some sough dough bread. That was so sweet. I cried. I said to him that I am going to stay a Raggy Doll.  Why do I want any other bloke when he went and done that for me because I was feeling yuk. So kind.  

He come home and we cooked some scrambled eggs and mushrooms, tomatoes and shallots and had a banquet of a breakfast at our little table in our lounge. I even got the tea pot out and my Blue Italian cup and saucer.  So we sat there, me in my PJ feeling like poop eating the most delicious brunch.  I did say to Andy that he is the most easiest guy I have ever lived with. There are no arguments. No confrontations. We both watch each other's backs and just gel along.  It is the perfect relationship.  Obviously NO SEX (I can't even think of that) but I guess I could argue that in many people's 'normal' relationships there isn't any of that either! Just saying.  So another thing to put on my list of demands for the next candidate to walk part of my journey with. Must be a good soul; above all else, a good, kind soul.  I wonder if that is going to be easier to find. I am not holding my breath!

A lazy day in PJs, voice coming and going. I am sitting in the lounge and it is looking like a care home. Tissues, blanket, hot Ribena and my hair looking as if I have been pulled through a bush backwards! Such a good look (not). It is normally times like this if my life was a film, that there would be a knock at the door and the man of my dreams would be standing there and I would look like death ...... sigh.  Well that never happened either so I spent the day watching Netflix, catching up on those little jobs that never get done and feeling sorry for myself.  I don't think I have ever been so pleased to see my bed when that time arrived.  How can you be so exhausted doing absolutely nothing?

Sunday:  No Trews for me this week. I never woke up until 8.30, then made a drink and went back to bed until 10.00.  I decided then that I needed to get a grip and being a typical Virgo I did what we do best ................ I cleaned. Nets down, windows cleaned, floors mopped, dusting done, vacuuming done, ironing done and anything that needed washing was washed.  Andy just lets me get on with it. I am like a whirling dervish clutching a bottle of bleach.  However, he did go and tidy his room, cleaned his window and vacuumed his room and lounge!  I decided that my poor old Nan would turn in her grave if I put the same nets back up at the window. To say they are grey would be a slight understatement. So spent the morning looking on eBay to try to find some (reasonably priced) that I could buy to replace them.  This may only be a rented flat, but it is my home and I want it to looked loved and cared for.

Andy went out and I had a lovely soak in the bath whilst reading my book. Bliss. There is something luxurious of giving yourself the time to soak in the bath these days and today I took it.  At least I am feeling a great deal better and my voice is coming back - yay!  So a quiet weekend; not what I planned. However, there are just times when you just have to listen to your body and give in. Thank goodness for Netflix, tissues, paracetamol and Andy.

As always, enjoy x

And if the people stare, then the people stare. Oh, I really don't know and I really don't care (Hand in Glove - The Smiths)

The thing is I do care.  I wished I didn't; but I do.  I think people look at you (and I am using that word loosely) and think just because you are getting on with your life all is fine.  Those people who are in your life realise that this is not always the case; the others do not have a clue and draw their own conclusions. Like any situation it is about how you react to it and how you allow it to impact on you.  Like some one said, you have to make sacrifices and if people who suppose to care for you do not like it, then certain friendships are a tough price to pay for my freedom.  I can see why my friend Sarah does not do sentiment.It has to be easier! You have to love The Smiths they sum it up a treat!  As always, enjoy!

Monday:  Well this morning I woke up with yet another head cold ... yuk!  So much for sitting in the sunshine yesterday, reading my book. But the sun was shining again and that always makes me smile.  Quiet night tonight as Andy and I caught up on some TV we had recorded then I had a lovely chat with my dear friend Jackie.  We had a good old girlie natter; so much laughter. So begins another week.

Tuesday:  Today flew by. I decided, reluctantly, not to go to Aqua Fit this evening. I am still getting over this chill and it would have been kind of silly to go really.  I cooked dinner this evening as Andy had had the day from hell. He is working at the moment on a tele-conference so I come to my room.  So here I am snuggled up in bed.  I am trying to save money at the moment as it has been an expensive month.  But hey, that is London living.

Wednesday:  I am getting concerned.  I have had three good 9-5 days in a row! I shall say no more.  Today has been a day of catching up.  I received two lovely phone calls from friends in the frozen North.  It was so lovely to hear them and to catch up on all their news. We just laughed and laughed.  Happy times.  Then this evening I received my first 'celebrity' following on Twitter. Andy is very impressed and I am stunned.  I tweeted them back to say thank you and they even liked that!  Obviously, I will not let this new found fame go to my head but I will be signing copies of my appearance in Hello magazine for those of you who would like it :)  

Tonight I watched the final episode of a TV serial PPLP (my French friend) recommended to me which is strange when you think that he has been watching it in Icelandic, reading it in English and he is French.  It is called Trapped and has been showing on BBC4. It is a drama set in Icleand with subtitles.  Two things here.  I am not adverse to watching a programme with subtitles but I do get distracted and tend to wander off.  Obviously, you cannot do this as my command of the Icelandic language is zero.  Secondly, I know of quite a few people who have recently been to, or want to go to Iceland.  Those of you who know me will know that I do not do cold.  However, I have to say after watching this programme, that it looks absolutely stunning. Cold. But stunning. I really do not think I could go in the winter months but maybe in the Summer.  Perhaps I will put it on the bucket list now clubbing in Ibiza is coming off the list this year! 

The days are just flying by which means the weeks are too.  It is crazy where the time is going.  I am looking forward to having a few days off over the Easter period.  I have also carried over some annual leave from this year which is good as I do hate wasting my annual leave.  I would rather just take it when I am doing something special, than to just take it to hang around the flat.  Unlike Andy bless him, who is having this Friday of to just chill.  But hey, it would not pay for us all to be the same would it now.

Thursday:  Well prayers have been answered.  I have lost my voice. Well not entirely, but enough to sound ridiculous.  Bloody cold.  Still, like I always say, there would be plenty of people in the Crem who would like to just have a cold. Beautiful sunny day today. I met Andy in the shopping centre and we went and got some food.  Things were getting a tad dire. Back home, we cleared out the freezer, disposing of some food that had been in there for ages.

Andy had been given, by a friend, a Sky package that will give us loads more packages including box sets for less than we are paying now. I have left him to it. But it looks now as if we are going to be transferring to Sky.  He is excited about it anyway ...... bless him.

There was something on the news that said there are now 8.9 million people leaving in London.   This got me thinking.  If you half that number so let us say 4.5 million are female and 4.5 million are male. Take off 1.5 million on both gender for children.  Leaving 3 million men and 3 million women.  We are both interested in men.  Therefore, we have 3 million to choose from.  Half of them are gay, leaving 1.5 million straight.  Out of the 1.5 million straight men at least half of them thing any hole is a goal, leaving 750,000.  My odds of finding someone are crap! Andy's odd are far greater than mine!  Come to London he said, plenty of people to meet he said.  Sigh!  

So early night as I was feeling yuk, snuggled in bed with my book and thinking of the 750,000 men there are out there somewhere for me.  I guess I will have to keep looking.

Friday:  This morning I awoke to find I have no voice! World Prayers have been finally answered.  I went to work, of course I did, but did not answer the phone. I left, taking TOIL at 15:00 and made my way up to King's Cross station. Tonight I was meeting my friend Ian who I know from the Stoke Meet Up group. We decided to go for a drink first, so we made our way up to Granary Square which is just north of King's Cross station.  We went to a place called Caravan. I warned Ian before we went in that it was very hipster, I was not wrong. I counted four man buns, beards and waiters wearing beanies. I ordered a gin. I thought sod it, it will wash the paracetamol down.  Gin is not just poured into a glass it is dropped from a great height after being shook and shook.  Just get me a drink!  We had a couple in there, chatting (well croaking in my case) away then decided to go to eat.  We were going to Dishoom which is another of my favourite places to eat in London.  However, we were told the queue would be around 90 minutes!

We decided to go and eat at The Grain Store instead, another hipster place! Welcome to London.  The service was not brilliant however the meal more than made up for it.  We both had the same; vegetable chilli.  Ian was off out later. He had invited me along with him as he was going clubbing and you know me, any other time I would be the first one there.  However, as I am not feeling so well I thought better of it.  We went to a pub along the Euston Road for a last drink then made our way up to Tavistock Square where I caught the bus home. It was such a lovely evening and great to catch up our each other's news. I am so lucky that people want to meet up with me when they are passing through. It was a lovely evening.  All I need now, is my voice back.

As always, with my love x

If you are wondering why all the love that you long for eludes you and people are rude and cruel to you, I'll tell you why ........ you just haven't earned it yet baby you must suffer and cry for a longer time (You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby - The Smiths)

Well another classic Smith's song.  However, I was reminded something whilst going through their back catalogue that Kirsty MacColl sang a version of this, but more about her another month.  Once again, a song with lyrics about real life and I guess that is why I have always liked The Smiths and Morrissey.  I guess I will have to remind myself of this line every now and then. So here we are again, enjoy!

Saturday:  It's amazing what you can turn your hand to if and when you have to.  I woke this morning to find the boiler flashing at me.  Actually, let's just rewind that for a bit.  I woke at 6.00am again! Even though I put a blanket up at the window to keep the light out ..... sigh.  Back to the boiler.  The pressure was low in it, so I get the manual out and wait for Andy to wake up. Between us, we actually did it; with the help of You Tube, a torch, packing tape (to seal down the crap lino that was caught under the washer) and an enormous sense of achievement.  We now have, once again, hot water. I have been busy this morning go through some papers that I have been putting off for ages.  I have a box that I keep 'official things' in.  I have my old school reports and photos of my childhood, not many, just a few and other personal things.  I did not get too upset but it is so odd when I look back now.  That all done and I now have room on the top of my desk in my room again.  Quick whizz around the flat with the vacuum cleaner and duster and it was time to start looking at other paperwork.

Tonight I went once again to yet another of my new found love since coming to London; the Opera. I was at the Royal Opera House Covent Garden to see a performance of La Traviata. Yes, this is the girl who can book Pete Tong tickets one day and then go to the opera the next.  Who says I am a complexed contradiction.  Before I went to the Opera House I went to find a woman collecting for Marie Curie. I heard her on Simon Mayo's Drive Time show on BBC Radio 2 on Friday.  She said she was going to be fund raising.  She was lovely.  We stood and had a chat and she said so many people had been over to say hello to her.  The power of the media.

 Back to a night at the Opera. So I wore Chanel ................ perfume and my not so little black dress by ................ Asos.  This is the third occasion I have been to the Royal Opera House and every time I feel like a Princess.  La Traviata was everything you would expect it to be: passionate, warming and tragic.  The opera was in three acts, which means three breaks.  I told myself next time I go, I shall have champagne, now that I have a taste for the 'good' stuff.  It really was a beautiful evening. I do believe Opera is one of my new loves since 

arriving in London.

Sunday:  My Sundays are so magical and today was no exception.  I just missed the bus up to Hoxton.  Don't you just hate that, when you turn the corner and see the bus pulling way from the stop.  I decided to walk to the next stop.  Off the bus and along the canal with the joggers, dog walkers, cyclists and strollers.  I received a lovely warm welcome from Rose at Trew Era Cafe and Andre.  Soon Paul, Hannah and Emma arrived and a guy I had seen before called (I think) Abdul who was over from Paris for the weekend.  He was telling us that he will call in every 3-4 weeks.  I explained to him that we really would not mind going over to see him to meditate ..... you have to try.

I really cannot express how much I enjoy my Sunday mornings.  The atmosphere and energy is wonderful. I really wish I could start every day this way.  Such lovely, warm people.  By now the foggy start to the day had cleared and it was a lovely blue sky morning.  I left the cafe and made my way to Somerset House.  I had intended seeing an exhibition but when I got there I realised I had to pay to get in.  Now, here lies the problem.  Due to the fact I got my Pete Tong tickets; coupled with my friend's daughter coming to stay last weekend means that I am rather skint.  In fact I have £35 plus the £20 in my purse to last me to pay day.  Yep, living life as a student.  Needless to say, unfortunately I did not get to see the exhibition.  But it was fine.  I sat on the terrace of Somerset House reading my book and soaking up the early Spring sunshine.  I still find it hard at times to believe that I am living here.  On the way home there was a woman and her two small children on the bus.  We started chatting and the children were so adorable.  Oh what I would give to have those days back.  I told her to enjoy every minute of them as they grow up too quick.

So another wonderful weekend.  There is just so much to see and do in London. I know I have said it before, but it gives me opportunities I never thought I would have.  I feel truly blessed.

As always, with my love x 

There's a club if you'd like to go you could meet somebody who really loves you so you go, and you stand on your own and you leave on your own and you go home, and you cry and you want to die (How Soon Is Now - The Smiths)

Spring is definitely on her way. The light coming through my bedroom curtain woke me up this morning at 6.00am and that is always an indicator to me that the days are certainly getting longer.  So this week's song.  Oh, oh, oh, how I love this.  In fact, I do believe it would be up there in my top ten singles of all time.  It is the guitar that makes it for me.  Good old Johnny Marr (again).  I bet all of you have heard this song at one point in your life.  It is used a great deal for background music in trailers and was also used as the theme tune to Charmed (a US TV series).  I guess the best way to sum the meaning of this song up is that it is about someone who is incredibly shy who cannot find a partner and that they just need to be loved; 'I am human and a I need to be loved, just like everybody else does.' As always, enjoy.

Monday:  Sigh! Back home and Andy had cooked us a lovely dinner of freshly filled spring rolls, quinoa and a Thai flavoured salmon. Yum! I met PPLP (my French friend) at Waterloo tonight for a drink. He is out in the sticks now but we said that we would still keep in touch.  We had a lovely evening.  Laughing and joking and losing things in translation.  However, his English has really come along so well and he is more confident with speaking it now.  I am going to go over to his new flat in a couple of weeks so he can make me a cup of tea!

Tuesday: International Women's Day today so I shall wear my purple, green and white scarf I wore on my graduation day that represents the colours of the Women's Social and Political Union.  Spent time today at work watching the planes come into Heathrow. You can count them every 30 seconds. I have decided that I will leave my desk and do this at least twice a day.

Tonight I was back at Aqua Fit. I have not been for a few weeks because of illness and other events.  I need not have worried, it has been closed anyway. I have decided that Aqua Fit is a cross between Free Willy and that water hog in the Lion King.  That aside, there is a nice little group going on now and I had a chat with a couple of the other girls and I do enjoy it.  However, trust me when I say it really is not a pretty sight!

Back home, favourite food: avocado on toast with mushrooms and tomato and caught up with Andy and his events.  Then I went to bed because I was tired.  It turns out, when I woke again turned midnight, that I had fallen asleep sitting up in bed with all my pillows around me, book fallen on the bed and TV playing to itself.  See, I said I was tired.

Wednesday:  Grey, stormy day in London. Just a quiet day really but to be honest I enjoy them every now and then.  Lazy evening - all good.

Thursday:  Drinky poos tonight after the 9-5.  Tonight we were at the Lord Nelson in Southwark and what a quirky little pub this turned out to be.  I have passed this pub on numerous occasions and have always thought it looked busy; I can now see why.  They serve 7 different vegetarian burgers there and 14 different meat burgers ......... I shall be going back for dinner one evening. The Meet Up was, as always, lovely.  Good company and plenty of laughs as well as meeting people from all over the world. Tonight I met an American, two Italians and my friend from Finland.  We had some interesting conversations and I really must have an Italian man in my life, they are so funny.  I thought at one point we were about to act out the scene from Shirley Valentine and he loves my stretch marks scene.  All good fun.

Tomorrow morning I have a task at 9.30 sharp.  Fingers crossed it all goes to plan.  If not, I will have to revert to Plan B.  More later.

Friday:  Very exciting day today.  I managed to secure tickets for me and my two new London friends Hannah and Emma to go on 1 December 2016 to see Pete Tong at the 02.  Last year I saw Pete Tong at the Proms doing the Ibiza Classics to an full orchestra.  I was so annoyed that I was living in London and had missed this.  However, I had my own little rave, my room, watching it on the TV.  I found out this week that he was repeating the event at the O2 in December.  I asked Emma a Hannah (who I know from the Trews Cafe on a Sunday) if they were interested and of course they were!  So this morning, I sat at a PC for 30 minutes, patiently waiting my time to get some tickets.  They were not the tickets I wanted but hey I have three tickets and we are going. Going clubbing in Ibiza is on the bucket list and I think this will certainly tick the box.

Let me tell you about Pete Tong.  Me and him (he does not know it) go back a long way. He is my age and was born a few miles up the road from me and went to school a few miles down the road from me, in the opposite direction. He used to DJ at the disco I went in my home town, then later at various pubs in the area.  Later on, he did a regular set at a place in the sticks so the only way we could get there was when one by one, we passed our driving test and could borrow our parent's car.  Happy days.  I guess this is my claim to fame.  I cannot tell you how excited I am about going to this party.  Now, two friends from Stoke are coming down to the event too, so it is going to be a blast.  I shall wear flowers in my hair (even though it is December) and for me, I shall be clubbing in Ibiza.  Remember, you are never, ever too old to do anything you want.

As always, with my love x

Take me out tonight, where there's people and there's music and they're young and alive! (There's A Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths)

I wanted to find a song by The Smiths that expressed love and light.  Even though there is another line in this song that I was going to use, which let's face it is morbid but does amuse me, I thought the first few lines were quite appropriate.  Young people keep us alive.  They have a naivety and passion for life.  They see something that perhaps us older people see as the 'norm' as something totally alien to them. We see the same situation with a completely different view point. That keeps you alive, their energy in turn, energises you ............ if you let it!  As always enjoy!

Saturday:  It feels odd, a good odd, having a teenage girl in my life again.  It has been some time. You forget little things (and this is certainly no criticism, just observations) such as why do they spend so long in the shower and how they have one speed ..... slow! But it is all so good and I am enjoying the company.

Eventually, both of us washed, dressed and ready to roll.  A few chores needed to be done locally and then it was on a bus.  We walked through Leicester Square and China Town.  I found a Chinese bakery and got all excited as I found something to this day I have no idea what it is, that I used to buy from the street vendors for breakfast when I was in Hong Kong. Delicious. We walked up Regent Street and went into the Apple shop. This was the first time my friend had been in one and she was so excited.  I needed some new hand cream in Molton Brown and the people thought we were mother and daughter and took our photo for Mothering Sunday. My friend will just love this photo of us both.
Then into Oxford Street. I forgot how much teenage girls like make up!  Trust me when I say I saw make up today that I did not know existed. I am normally a Clinque and Boots No.7 girl. I must admit I did hear myself think at one point do people really put that colour eye shadow on their eyes!

We then went into Boots as I needed some new make-up which must have seen pretty dull to my friend.  We were served by a lovely woman called Zara.  I sat there like a model lol as she checked my make up then put it all back on again for me.  I treated myself to another red lipstick and then she gave me some eyebrows back! I have not had thickish eyebrows for years.  This is yet another downside of being old, well 29.  I was amazed at my eyebrows and just hope that I can put them back on tomorrow lol. Zara told me to book myself in for a make over and I promised her the next time I was going out somewhere I would do so.  She was such a lovely woman.  By now we had a few bags and went for a coffee. Then walked back along Oxford Street, into Selfridge's to give her that experience.  By now our legs were aching so got the bus home.

I ordered pizza and a we sat on my bed watching Taken (as I have never seen it). I do not do violent films, but it was ok I kind of enjoyed it and let's face it, anything with Liam Neeson in is a bonus. We then watched Love Actually (yes I know, again) as my friend had not seen it. So there we were, sitting on my bed, stuffing our face with a huge pizza laughing (and me crying as I do) to Love Actually.  A perfect day.



Sunday:  Today is Mothering Sunday.  How do I feel? I remember Meg's first Mothering Sunday. I received daffodils.  I have some daffodils in my room today.  I guess I am dammed either way.  If I remember and sit and think it hurts; if I don't remember and look at it as another Sunday, it hurts.  This time will pass.




Why is it when you do not have to wake up early, you do?  Lazy morning around the flat. Put my eyebrows on lol and are so pleased with them. It is great having another girlie around the flat.  Andy would be going insane if he were here as there is make up spewed all over the coffee table and I am now awaiting to have false eye lashes administered lol! I then had my false eyelashes applied and my eye liner lol and looked very ....... glamorous.

We caught the tube up to Angel.  I do like it there.  We had a look at all the little shops and then went into Paul A Young chocolates. Some of you may recall I first went here at Christmas and treated myself to a box of the most delicious chocolates.  Today I wanted to buy some for my friend back in Stoke.  I chose four, hand made chocolates and they boxed them up so beautifully for me.  My friend's daughter chose one for herself and the guy behind the counter would not allow me to pay for that one. That was so kind and she really enjoyed it.  I paid the bill and then the guy gave me a small Easter egg as well.  Such kindness. I told him I would make a drink and treat myself when I got home.

We caught the bus up to Euston and it was soon time to say our goodbyes. I have to admit that I felt quite a panic looking at the departure board and seeing Stoke on Trent.  I really do not like the feeling it gave me.  Back home and Andy was back and we caught up on our news and events of the weekend. 

So it has been a lovely weekend.  It was lovely having a teenage girl back in my life, doing all those girlie things like make up and perfume and giggling.  The flat kind of feels empty now!

As always, with my love x

I was looking for a job and then I found a job and heaven knows I'm miserable now. In my life, why do I give valuable time, to people who don't care if I live or die (Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - The Smiths)

You have just got to love The Smiths. I remember saying this back when I was working at Lloyd's in 1980's. They have a song for every moment in your life and for ones that you never want to happen either.  So my friends, this month we (well me) shall celebrate the music of The Smiths and Morrissey. How could I not start a the month and Monday with the lines from this song.  I shall let you draw your own conclusions, but as always enjoy!

Monday: It is typical.  The night I would not mind being on transatlantic time because of the Oscars ...... I do not wake up.  Spotlight won best film, which I am really pleased about and my lovely, lovely Sam Smith won too and dedicated it to the LGBT community around the world!  Bless him.  So a sunny, but cold, Monday morning.  So begins another week.

Leap year day!  I got married on leap year day.  The story goes (and this is totally true) that JF wanted to get married and did not want children unless we did, even though he was considerably younger than me.  After being once very, very bitten, I did not want to go through that pointless exercise again and kept saying no.  However, if I wanted children I had no choice. I eventually told him that I would marry him the next leap year that falls on a Saturday (thinking I was being smart). That turned out to be the following year! Sigh. Note to self after that: Always, always do your research first.  In hindsight and gut feeling, I really should not have bothered as look where it finally got me ......  again!  So I have decided that every Leap Year Day I shall celebrate it.  I can't remember what I did four years ago to be honest, that period is a total haze. But this year tonight, I am going to The Globe to see a production of The Tempest.

Work was interesting.  We had a talk from a local LGBT charity which I found really interesting.  Work done it was time to go to the theatre.  I arrived at The Globe and took my seat. This time it was in the Sam Wanamaker Theatre, which means inside. The woman sitting next to me was very well groomed and told me, just as the play was about to start, that tomorrow was her 94th birthday. She looked amazing.  I thought that I would have a chat with her in the break. I never made it to the break.

Half way through the first half of the play I felt really ill.  My stomach was going over, I was sweating, I could not keep my eyes open.  I eventually, and reluctantly, left, got the bus home and spectacularly threw up. Then again at midnight and again at 3.00am. I am so annoyed as I really wanted to see this play.

Tuesday:  Well not much to write today. I stayed in bed and spent the day sleeping on and off and feeling terrible.  Fortunately, I have not been sick again, but I guess that is because I have not had anything to eat! I do not do sick! I spent the entire day in bed, sleeping on and off.

Wednesday:  Feeling slightly better today but still have a terrible headache and my neck and shoulders ache. No work again. There is no point. I would have to hit the ground running and I can't face it.  Once again the stark reality of being totally alone has hit home.  I hate it.  I am trying not to get upset about it but I guess, because I am not feeling well, I am also feeling emotional.  Best I don't write any more now.

When I left the frozen North for pastures new, I had to leave behind so many 'things', both physical and emotional. One item was my lovely Buddha that used to live in my garden. I have always had a Buddha in the garden and also have many around the house. I no longer have a garden; hence no Buddha. So I asked my dear friend Margaret, who has the most amazing cottage garden, if she would care for my Buddha and she said yes. He really could not have gone to such a loving home. This week, just when I needed to be lifted, Margaret sent me a picture of him (she has done this before) with the beautiful spring snowdrops all around him. He really is being looked after and I found him the perfect home and who knows, one day I may have my own garden again.  Thank you Margaret for caring from him and thank you for your friendship.

Thursday:  Feeling a great deal better.  Ribs still aching like hell and I don't have my appetite back yet, but I am looking at that as a positive. Every cloud and all that.  I work for 8.00am and left at 16.30 and never left my desk once ...... seriously! 

Home.  His Lordship is away with friends all weekend, so I am, once again, home alone.  Had a lovely long phone call with a friend in the frozen north and it got me thinking about people who were in my life who now just seem to have drifted off.  Communication is a two way thing; phones make and receive calls. We all have 24 hours in the day. Some of us have to fill it with work (unfortunately); others, for whatever reason, do not have to work. We are all walking a journey and I guess we just walk part of the journey with some people and then we drift away.  I do not like it, but at times, what else can you do. Fortunately, I have regular, verbal contact with two friends in the north and I shall just be thankful with that.

Got the flat all ready for my guest and caught up with some bits and bobs and then just enjoyed reading my book.  All rock and roll my friends, all rock and roll.

Friday:  No work today! I walked from the flat to Farringdon, taking in part of my favourite route. Grabbed a coffee and then caught the bus to Euston.

 Today, some 25 years later, I am still hanging around Euston station waiting for wayward Stokies making the break to travel south.  My dear friend's 14 year old daughter is coming to stay for a few days. I offered to do this to give them both a break but also to show her (the daughter) that there is a life out of Stoke.

After a quick turnaround at the flat we were out. We walked along to the Southbank (my favourite place) and I took her to see Leake Tunnel and all the urban art, then the House of Vans to see all the cool skateboarding stuff. I got talking to a great woman there (I never got her name .... sorry) about 

photography and she asked for my card. We then went back along the

Southbank and by now it was dark and London was looking even more beautiful. I took her for dinner at Wahaca (one of my favourite places) on the Southbank which is housed in old shipping container units. I was so proud of her. She was brave enough to try three different dishes and enjoyed them.  We flirted with the waiter and she was thrilled to bits when he winked at her!  It was so sweet. Bus home and the end of a great day.  But more fun and games tomorrow! 

As always, with my love x