I was looking for a job and then I found a job and heaven knows I'm miserable now. In my life, why do I give valuable time, to people who don't care if I live or die (Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - The Smiths)

You have just got to love The Smiths. I remember saying this back when I was working at Lloyd's in 1980's. They have a song for every moment in your life and for ones that you never want to happen either.  So my friends, this month we (well me) shall celebrate the music of The Smiths and Morrissey. How could I not start a the month and Monday with the lines from this song.  I shall let you draw your own conclusions, but as always enjoy!

Monday: It is typical.  The night I would not mind being on transatlantic time because of the Oscars ...... I do not wake up.  Spotlight won best film, which I am really pleased about and my lovely, lovely Sam Smith won too and dedicated it to the LGBT community around the world!  Bless him.  So a sunny, but cold, Monday morning.  So begins another week.

Leap year day!  I got married on leap year day.  The story goes (and this is totally true) that JF wanted to get married and did not want children unless we did, even though he was considerably younger than me.  After being once very, very bitten, I did not want to go through that pointless exercise again and kept saying no.  However, if I wanted children I had no choice. I eventually told him that I would marry him the next leap year that falls on a Saturday (thinking I was being smart). That turned out to be the following year! Sigh. Note to self after that: Always, always do your research first.  In hindsight and gut feeling, I really should not have bothered as look where it finally got me ......  again!  So I have decided that every Leap Year Day I shall celebrate it.  I can't remember what I did four years ago to be honest, that period is a total haze. But this year tonight, I am going to The Globe to see a production of The Tempest.

Work was interesting.  We had a talk from a local LGBT charity which I found really interesting.  Work done it was time to go to the theatre.  I arrived at The Globe and took my seat. This time it was in the Sam Wanamaker Theatre, which means inside. The woman sitting next to me was very well groomed and told me, just as the play was about to start, that tomorrow was her 94th birthday. She looked amazing.  I thought that I would have a chat with her in the break. I never made it to the break.

Half way through the first half of the play I felt really ill.  My stomach was going over, I was sweating, I could not keep my eyes open.  I eventually, and reluctantly, left, got the bus home and spectacularly threw up. Then again at midnight and again at 3.00am. I am so annoyed as I really wanted to see this play.

Tuesday:  Well not much to write today. I stayed in bed and spent the day sleeping on and off and feeling terrible.  Fortunately, I have not been sick again, but I guess that is because I have not had anything to eat! I do not do sick! I spent the entire day in bed, sleeping on and off.

Wednesday:  Feeling slightly better today but still have a terrible headache and my neck and shoulders ache. No work again. There is no point. I would have to hit the ground running and I can't face it.  Once again the stark reality of being totally alone has hit home.  I hate it.  I am trying not to get upset about it but I guess, because I am not feeling well, I am also feeling emotional.  Best I don't write any more now.

When I left the frozen North for pastures new, I had to leave behind so many 'things', both physical and emotional. One item was my lovely Buddha that used to live in my garden. I have always had a Buddha in the garden and also have many around the house. I no longer have a garden; hence no Buddha. So I asked my dear friend Margaret, who has the most amazing cottage garden, if she would care for my Buddha and she said yes. He really could not have gone to such a loving home. This week, just when I needed to be lifted, Margaret sent me a picture of him (she has done this before) with the beautiful spring snowdrops all around him. He really is being looked after and I found him the perfect home and who knows, one day I may have my own garden again.  Thank you Margaret for caring from him and thank you for your friendship.

Thursday:  Feeling a great deal better.  Ribs still aching like hell and I don't have my appetite back yet, but I am looking at that as a positive. Every cloud and all that.  I work for 8.00am and left at 16.30 and never left my desk once ...... seriously! 

Home.  His Lordship is away with friends all weekend, so I am, once again, home alone.  Had a lovely long phone call with a friend in the frozen north and it got me thinking about people who were in my life who now just seem to have drifted off.  Communication is a two way thing; phones make and receive calls. We all have 24 hours in the day. Some of us have to fill it with work (unfortunately); others, for whatever reason, do not have to work. We are all walking a journey and I guess we just walk part of the journey with some people and then we drift away.  I do not like it, but at times, what else can you do. Fortunately, I have regular, verbal contact with two friends in the north and I shall just be thankful with that.

Got the flat all ready for my guest and caught up with some bits and bobs and then just enjoyed reading my book.  All rock and roll my friends, all rock and roll.

Friday:  No work today! I walked from the flat to Farringdon, taking in part of my favourite route. Grabbed a coffee and then caught the bus to Euston.

 Today, some 25 years later, I am still hanging around Euston station waiting for wayward Stokies making the break to travel south.  My dear friend's 14 year old daughter is coming to stay for a few days. I offered to do this to give them both a break but also to show her (the daughter) that there is a life out of Stoke.

After a quick turnaround at the flat we were out. We walked along to the Southbank (my favourite place) and I took her to see Leake Tunnel and all the urban art, then the House of Vans to see all the cool skateboarding stuff. I got talking to a great woman there (I never got her name .... sorry) about 

photography and she asked for my card. We then went back along the

Southbank and by now it was dark and London was looking even more beautiful. I took her for dinner at Wahaca (one of my favourite places) on the Southbank which is housed in old shipping container units. I was so proud of her. She was brave enough to try three different dishes and enjoyed them.  We flirted with the waiter and she was thrilled to bits when he winked at her!  It was so sweet. Bus home and the end of a great day.  But more fun and games tomorrow! 

As always, with my love x