Another red letter day, So the pound has dropped and the children are creating, The other half ran away, Taking all the cash and leaving you with the lumber, Got a pain in the chest, Doctors on strike what you need is a rest (Friends Will Be Friends - Queen)

So we are coming to an end almost for Queen this month, just two more tracks. Ironically, I knew which track I was going to have for the final posting yet there were so many I could have had for the penultimate one. I guess just some sentiment for this one.  As always, enjoy.

Saturday:  It has been difficult for me to find my sparkle today.  After yesterdays events: politics and work I felt rather drained.  But today I need to sparkle - today I was, once again, walking in London Pride.

Crown own, flower in hair and boas round my neck, we left the flat - just a normal Saturday in London.  Needless to say we passed two of our neighbours on the way out; we never normally see a soul! Caught the tube and it was obvious by people's attire that many were also going to Pride.  It was so funny as this year we had to go to Regent's Park tube and there amongst the gays, lesbians, queers, trans, puppies, leather men, bears and everything else in between and equally as beautiful, were white middle class families taking their children to the zoo.  I did chuckle as one two year old was shouting out 'Look, look, blue hair'.  Personally, there was a great deal more he could have been shouting out and feel that his parents got off quite well.

The first crowd we stopped to talk to were the puppies. I had recently seen a documentary on Channel 4 about this and was rather intrigued. Basically, it is men who like like to dress up as puppy dogs.  I was really annoyed with myself as I wanted to get some biscuits for them but had completely forgotten and here they were.  Personally, I don't really understand it, I guess it is that slave and master thing, but hey if it makes you happy who am I to question it.

We made our way to our rendevouz point and met up with others and watch the various groups of people pass as by. I love Pride. There is so much love.  Finally, we made our way to our start position which was in Portland Place, right by the BBC.  We were also behind the Ab Fab float. However, even though there was much excitement and speculation, we did not see Patsy or Eddie.  Then before we knew it we were off.  Unfortunately, we did not have a sound system this year but still managed to dance, sing, shout, wave and smile our way down Regent Street.  I was hugging people, holding hands, waving to the crowd.  I cannot tell you how happy I was.  We got to Trafalgar Square far to soon and a guy called me over to the crowd and hugged and hugged me saying 'thank you for looking after my Auntie'. I was so touched. There was just so much love in London yesterday and before we knew it, the whole thing was over and done with for another year.

We made our way up to Soho and into the pub and that is very much where we stayed for a few hours. There were so many interesting people in there that we got talking to. Such a friendly, happy, relaxed atmosphere.  I did have to giggle as some bloke asked if Andy and I were husband and wife. I thought Andy was going to have a heart attack; I just screamed with laughter saying it was better than people assuming I was his mother!  So quite a few pints, a bit of dancing, a bit of talking and a lot of laughter we decided to go to get something to eat as by now we were really hungry. Needless to say, after eating we were tired and decided to just go back to the flat.  It had been a long and exiting day, filled with so much love.  I had a quick shower and laid on my bed and fell asleep and totally missed Gastonbury!

Sunday:  Bit of a lie in then up, showered and dressed and out.  I was meeting my friend Ian from the Stoke Meet Up group at Euston.  We have not seen each other for a while as Ian has changed jobs so it was good to catch up with each others news and what better place to do this, but in the pub!  We had a good old natter and laugh and finding out what we both had been up to over the past few months.  The afternoon we far to quick and it was time for Ian to catch his train home.  We said our goodbyes and I made my way home.

Once home, it was time to throw some stuff into a suitcase and get myself in gear for my little trip tomorrow.  I cannot believe that I have gone from the woman who was so organised to the woman who leaves it all to the last minute and makes it up as she goes along!

So it has been a busy weekend but one that has shown me that my life is enriched in many, many ways. I am blessed.

As always, with my love x

How do you think I'm going to get along without you when you're gone? You took me for everything that I had and kicked me out on my own. Are you happy, are you satisfied? How long can you stand the heat? (Another One Bites The Dust - Queen)

The irony of this song is two fold.  Firstly, it was number one when I got married the first time. That alone should have been an omen. Secondly, in light of Friday's events the words seem significant.  I am a woman and I will always vote and I am the first one to speak out for democracy.  However, I am finding it very difficult to understand why people have used their vote purely because they do not like immigration.  Mainly immigration from non EU countries.  I shall say no more, just that I have learnt a great deal about people today (Friday) and it is a sad day.  Try to enjoy!

Monday:  Such a lovely feeling knowing I had no work today, well no work there ever again!  Andy was up early and was making his way to try to resurrect his phone ........ good luck with that one!  More (of his) washing put on and I had no plans to leave the flat until later on during the day, so it was time for chores and paperwork.  The sun finally come out and so did I and caught the bus to my favourite gallery in London - Tate Britain.

When I lived up north and it was a wet and cold Sunday afternoon, I used to dream about just popping over to the Tate to see the Pre-Raphaelite art, just to be able to mooch around the gallery. So today, once again I did.  The Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood have always been of interest to me. I think it was because they were pioneers of their time, pushing those boundaries and taking art and shaking it up. Wonderful pieces of art.  However, the irony of it all come home to me as I walked down the steps from the gallery, because as I looked over the river I could see my new office.  I had not made the connection, but I will be able to sit at my desk (well the days I go into the office) and see Tate Britain from my window.  How crazy is that; another circle completed.

All good at my new work place and actually got met at the lift by my boss (she will be leaving in September though to change careers) with a smile and a hug. We completed the necessary paperwork and I was introduced to some of my work colleagues; all very positive.  So I walked home along the Embankment with Parliament to my left, then turning right and walking through the gardens at the Imperial War Museum and back to my flat.  The rest of the evening was seeing England (sign) try to score a goal.  I guess some things never change.

Tate Britain

The amazing floor at Tate Britain

Tuesday:  It is funny how the negative impact of one aspect of your life can shape the rest of it.  I had a fantastic day today.  I met with a friend and she is a friend even though this is only the second time we have met.  I should have been managing this person in my old job but as soon as we saw each other we knew we would get along!  How cool is that.  I met her at her flat which is a fabulous part of London and we walked over to Covent Garden and had a great lunch in a really good Italian restaurant.  We chatted and chatted and laughed and laughed.  Christine gave me a gift for my new job.  Talk about someone who you have only just met you gets you.  She gave me a book called Tired of London, Tired of Life and it gives you something to do in London for every day of the year!  So me.  We popped in M&S and then walked back to Christine's flat for a cup of tea and more chatting and I eventually left at 6.30pm! We both could not believe the time. We have so much in common and I know that we shall be meeting up again really soon.  

I really do feel like things are starting to come together.  I attend a few Meet Up groups which I love and have made some good friends there.  I have Hannah and Emma (who I met at meditation) who have become such good friends. I now have met Christine.  There is Daniele my Italian friend and dear PPLP (Pepe) my French friend.  I do not want to temp fate but also I will meet new people starting a new job.  It is all feeling really positive.

So I sat with a rather nice gin and tonic and watched Game of Thrones.  Well when I say watch it, I watched it through my fingers as it was a blood bath - but so, so good.  It is all good.

Wednesday:  So this morning I started to throw a few things into my suitcase as it is not long now until I go to Barcelona and I have a busy few days ahead. For the life I me I cannot find my old faithful sandals.  I have looked everywhere (and let's face it the flat is not that big) except my wardrobe and the thought of pulling that is is to much to think about today.  So today I caught up on paperwork - new DBS for job but thankfully I can start before this one comes back.  

So tonight I was meeting my new friend The Man.  You may recall we met at a recent Meet Up and he is from Wales and is a Primary School Teacher.  So off I trot on the bus up to Liverpool Street and I have to say I must have fallen love/lust 50 in five minutes.  Oh my.  Then a gorgeous guy come over and asked if he could ask me some questions. I thought, fill your boots sunshine. Him and some friends were starting a new business and wanted some feedback on the names they were thinking of calling said business. We did laugh as I gave him my thoughts on said names.  I was going to give him my card and ask him to let me know what they did call it but decided not to.

I met The Man down on the station and I do not know what was going on but there was a huge police presence.  I guess I forget that the country is on high alert as I just get on with it.  We said our hellos and walked up to Spitalfields to a lovely pub and sat and drunk, sharing stores and laughing.  It was so lovely. We both thought that it was time to get something to eat so I thought about a curry, so off we went to Brick Lane.

Brick Lane is full of curry restaurants and competition is fierce.  We were just passing one and the bloke come out and ushered us in.  To be honest, I think the choice was so overwhelming we would still be there now making up our minds.  I had a vegetable madras, he had a lamb something or the other.  Of course he did, he is Welsh.  It was so funny as The Man said that he thought we had known each other for years and I felt the same. The conversation and laughter just flowed.  I love this when I hear this.  Christine said the same on Wednesday.  I like it because I remember saying to Megan once 'if I am so terrible, so bad why doesn't everyone else see that?' and her reply was 'because you are good at covering it up'.  I know this is not true, but when you sometimes have that little wobble of faith in yourself to get such a natural acceptance from others just reassures me that I am a good person.

We left the restaurant and said that we will definitely do it again and said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.  The rain started and I could see lightening across the skyline - I do not like storms. The heavens opened and the rain was bouncing off the road. I bus hopped and fortunately did not get very wet at all, which was amazing considering how the rain was coming down. Quick catch up with Andy and straight to bed. However, the storms come and the sky was full of lightening.  I laid in my bed wanting to look out of the window but to scared to open the curtains.  I was born in a storm (almost at midnight as well) so obviously this has had an impact on me ha ha.  Finally, snuggled down and was soon safe in the arms of Orpheus.   

Thursday:  London is so humid today.  I thought after the terrible storms last night they air would be fresher; it was not.  I ventured out to the bank and it was closed because of flooding. So went off to vote and got wet as it started to rain again. Went to collect some clothes I had ordered in the sale and then back on the tube to Waterloo.  Big mistake.  Waterloo was so busy as most of the trains had been cancelled.  I was only going one stop to Vauxhall.  

Finally, got to Vauxhall and to Andy's office (and soon to be my new office too) and spent an hour with the LGBT+ group making banners for Pride.  It really is so strange as I know more people there who are so lovely and chat away to me as if they have known me for years, than I ever did in my old job.  I guess that speaks volumes.  Anyway, quite pleased with my art attempt. Oh, oh to be creative.

Back home and tried said clothes on and gave Andy an impromptu fashion show. Every woman should live with a gay man. He was honest with my purchases and actually paid attention to them.  He is happy as he nipped up to Covent Garden to the Apple shop and now has a new phone. Balance has been restored.  So tomorrow I have to return to my old job, just for the day. I feel nothing. I am not apprehensive; nor am I excited. I feel nothing.  I guess time will tell.


Friday: What a shit day! Hardly any sleep as I watched the country implode. We are no longer in the EU! Unbelievable. I struggled originally with this vote, I cannot lie. But I read, listened, asked and thought and when I saw the hatred amongst people and immigration my mind was made up.  It is a sad day and I have seen some other people in a completely different light.  If I could, I would leave this country, we are more divided now as a nation than we have ever been.

So off to work for my last day.  I was not disappointed or surprised. It was at a conference and my name was not on the list, people as in work colleagues, could not look at me.  Thankfully, once again, volunteers and a couple of staff were sincere.  Things that should have been addressed were not and if I had known this I would have take the day off without pay. Photos were being taken at the end and I just put on my jacket and walked out of the door. I am so relieved that such an awful experience has finished.  I put Elbow on my phone, put my sunglasses on and walked - not looking back.

Spent the evening watching the news; trying to look forward to my new career but fearful of the country's future; the future for young people.  

As always, with my love x

Tow the line and play their game, let the anaesthetic cover it all. Till one day they call your name, you know it's time for the hammer to fall (Hammer to Fall - Queen)

A classic Queen track that most of you will know.  Ironically, by Sunday both Andy and I had hammers in our head!  However, I do not think this what dear old Freddie had in mind.  Oh and as you watch the video you will see that Roger Taylor is wearing a Choose Life T shirt.  I want one! As always, enjoy.

So Lynn come back and curled my hair up.  All I have to do is remove the pins and give it a shake.  I went into Andy's room (I always do this with caution) to show him and he said I looked like something out of Beauty School Drop Out

from Grease. I am Frenchie.  He is quite right.  I told him that he can take the pins out anyway because he's gay so he should be hairdresser - touche. I have told him that he must have one gay friend who is a hairdresser for goodness sake.  What is the point of living with a gay man if he doesn't any friends who are hairdressers.  God help me, he is no hairdresser.  Obviously, if I still lived in Stoke I would be in my car driving up to Liverpool to have my make up done in John Lewis.  I remember on a visit to Liverpool I saw a couple of women, rollers in, having their make up done.  I will not be leaving the house.  Andy is to go over to Tesco in a bit to get the

carbs we will need for tomorrow when we are feeling sorry for ourselves. So a lazy day, washing on, tumble dryer on, bed stripped, blog posted, bills paid, no job applications to complete (yay!).  I have my weekends and life back.  

So a lazy day with no surprises unless you think people coming back into your life (yes yet again) is a surprise. But all good.  So make up on, rollers out, frock on then I got ready! No Andy looks lovely in a shirt and trousers and I have a new dress and tonight we are highly overdressed for the 188 bus to Greenwich to a wedding.  Well I am the plus one but hey ho it is a free bar!

So we scrubbed up well I think and then decided to do some Hello Magazine photo shoots whilst we were drinking a cocktail.  Left the flat to get the bus and had to wait ages.  This normally never happens and the journey to Greenwich took ages.  The venue for the wedding was in the Old Royal Navel College, such a beautiful setting.  We soon met up with Andy's work college and his partner.  I was chatting to her and

telling her about my new job and it turns out that one of the interviews I had lined up for next week is in fact her job!  She is going to train to be a teacher.  The other three were totally amazed; I wasn't because as many of you know this happens around me all the time.  It also turns out that if I had gone for this job and got it, my manager's partner recently left the charity I have just resigned from!  How crazy.  We had a lovely evening, drinking and dancing and chatting and laughing.  I know already one of Andy's work colleagues and met another and we had such a good evening.  When the events started to come to an end Andy decided that we were all going off somewhere else.  In hindsight this was not a good idea.

We walked along Greenwich High Street and Andy decided that we were going into a pub.  It was the same pub I went with on my date with the vegan.

 Thanks Andy.  Next thing I know he has gone off to the bar and comes back with eight, yes eight, bottles of Corona ...... I don't even like it.  We did some dancing and I sat and chatted to Andy's friend and partner, with me asking him if he had any relatives I could date.  He has an Uncle Joe lol.  So funny.  Then we realised we had lost Andy.  It turns out he was in the toilets, well so I was told.  I go to the men's loo and his work colleague said he would go and look, but me being me, is in there looking .... no Andy.  I found him coming out of the ladies toilet.  He looked terrible.

We all left the pub and Andy could hardly walk.  We were suppose to be getting the bus.  So the last time I was at this bus stop I had a snog with the vegan. But nothing like that today.  Andy was lying on the ground hugging the bus stop telling me to leave him there.  I am telling him to get up.  Trying to pull him up whilst he is saying just leave me just leave me.  I flagged down a taxi and the taxi driver really did not want to take us, well him.  I think he felt sorry for me in the end and said ok but that Andy must not be sick.  It was apparent that he had been sick and goodness knows how I got my head around that because I do not do sick!

Steve, our taxi driver made Andy put his head out of the window.  He looked like a little puppy dog taking in the air.  I have my hand on pack and pushing out of the window.  Andy's gums are still going.  So I told him to shut up.

Steve the taxi driver told him to shut up.  It was so funny.  Well it wasn't but you know what I mean.  We get home and Andy just falls out of the taxi and walks off and I settled the bill.  £23 lighter and just wanting to get home I have to confess I do not remember walking up the 48 stairs to our flat.  Andy went into the bathroom and subsequently exploded.  I made tea and toast. He went to his room and I cleaned up the bathroom.  I really do not know how I managed to do this, I have surprised myself.  I went in his room (I never go in his room) to make sure he was ok and he said he was, so I went back to my room and ate my toast.  I went in to check on him before I went to sleep, by now it was around 3.00am and he was dead to the world.  He is going to have a lot of washing to do, I thought to myself.

I cannot remember getting out of my dress, I had been struggling with it and had to have Andy help me, but somehow this morning, it was on the floor.  I also texted my friend Jackie in Stoke, I do not remember this until later on. It was such a good night and I knew that I would not be seeing much of Sunday.

Sunday:  I woke at 9.00 and went to the bathroom and realised that I had really not cleaned it that well.  So cleaned it again and went back to bed and drifted on and off and finally crawled out of my pit at 1.00pm.  Andy was up doing his washing and he looked terrible.  We did laugh. I was ok and made us some tea and toast and decided I was not going to be doing anything today.  I explained to Andy how we had got home (he could not remember) and we did have a giggle.  We spent the day drinking tea and watching back to back episodes of Miss Marple and Poirot.  The day took a turn for the worse as Andy realised he had broken his phone.  We are not surprised. He was throwing himself like a 2 year old child on the floor at the 188 bus stop in the middle of Greenwich High Street.  So as we speak, he is now online to Apple looking for a lifeline.

He has been given the error code 1671 which we think means 'another piss head has dropped his phone so just give us £250 and we will reset it for you'. It is a stressful moment as Andy's phone is fused to his hand for most of the day.  I have given him my old iPhone to see if his sim card will work in that for him; it doesn't.  So the evening was spent watching Andy slowly meltdown as the realisation that his beloved phone is on life-support whilst the washing machine when round and round and round ........ just like those joggers!

As always, enjoy x

Storm the master-marathon I'll fly through. By flash and thunder-fire I'll survive. Then I'll defy the laws of nature and come out alive ........... Then I'll get you (Seven Seas of Rhye - Queen)

The aftermath of the awful events in Orlando are still filling the news today. I watched Owen Jones on the Sky News Paper Review last night get so angry as they anchor man would not recognise the events as a homophobic terrorist crime and just kept saying it was people enjoying a night out. Owen Jones eventually took off his mic and walked out.  I am not LGBT+ but this community have been so dear to my heart since the mid 80's.  I fill like I am a honorary member.  Love is love.  It is that simple; others make it complicated.  The world needs more love.  It is that simple. I have a heavy heart today.  Once again I will be taking part in Pride on Saturday 25 June; walking, dancing and singing through the streets of Central London in celebration of living your life. It is that simple.  We all should be able to live our life - nothing more, nothing less.  It is that simple.

This song by Queen I adore.  The words are deep and heavy.  There were a couple of lines I could have used for the title from this song 'I will destroy any man who dares abuse my trust'.   As always, enjoy.

Monday:  A grey day.  The 9.00-5.00 got even worse (as if it could, but it really did) and throughout the day Andy found out that someone he worked with at Disney in Orlando was murdered in the shooting at Pulse.  I just wanted to go home (he had gone home) but I had to sit it out.  I walked home in the rain and got changed and we caught the bus up to Soho.  We were going to the vigil. 

We went to the Admiral Duncan pub, itself a place of homophobic terrorism in 1999, and met some friends.  I am going to say friends and not Andy's friends,

because since I have arrived in London they have become my friends too.  The bar was so busy and it was good to see people talking and laughing and coming together under such tragic circumstances.  I did have to say to our group that so much for putting some balance back in my life and trying not to meet more guy men.  I was surrounded by them (and many, as usual, were very easy on my eye ........... sigh!).  We took our drinks outside and it was heaving. We managed to find somewhere to stand (just) and then Jeremy Corbyn and Sadiq Khan walked by. The crowd were so happy to see them stand in solidarity with the community. People were holding flags, banners and beautiful flowers.  We stood, in silence, together. It was very emotional.  49 rainbow coloured balloons were let off, one in memory for each victim.  Andy whispered in my ear that one was for his friend Jerry and that was it I cried.  It is just not right that people have to live in fear of

discrimination or persecution because of who they love. The Gay Men's Choir started to sing Bridge Over Troubled Water.  I was so proud to stand there with the community singing (and crying).  I think that song will now always remind me of that moment (it previously reminded me of something else)  'Your time has come to shine, all your dreams are are their way.  See how they shine, if you need a friend.  I'm sailing right behind. Like a bridge over trouble water, I will ease your mind'.

We walked through a very, very busy Soho and found a pub and had another drink.  So much for readdressing the balance of alcohol and gay men!  We had a lovely evening under the most tragic of circumstances and I mean that in a

positive way. Then a strange thing happened.  I saw a woman waving in the pub and thought she was waving at me.  I looked behind me and there was no one there so she was waving at me.  I waved back then walked over to her and it was a woman who works in another office to me.  Someone from work was being social!  We stood and chatted about the evening and she said 'you always look so happy; you have a lovely smile'.  I guess you do not realise what people can see about you. So after a good old natter with the girls and boys Andy decided it was time to go home and let's face it I have a job interview tomorrow. We caught the bus, nipped in the chip shop downstairs.  

The guy who runs it always reminds me of my dear friend Steve.  He does not really look like him but there is something there, a similarity that just makes me smile and think of Steve.  So it was chips and Game of Thrones and bed.

Tuesday:  No sunshine this morning.  I had an hour typing up my blog and catching up on stuff.  Today I had another interview and I managed to dodge the heavy rain showers and arrive at the venue dry.  It was a challenging interview.  45 minute test then 45 minute questions and I did feel quite drained afterwards.  I really did not think at my age (29) that I would be in a position to be competing for a job that will pay me an income to basically survive. Strange how things turn out.

Met Andy from work and we walked home together and popped into Tesco (I really do need a different supermarket.  There was hardly any choice for vegetarian food).  So just a quiet evening, but all is well.

Wednesday:  Last day in the office.  A couple of lovely surprises.  A gift from someone in a different department who always has a beautiful smile; a gift from a volunteer which was very kind of her and a beautiful orchid (I have always wanted one of them and I hope I do not kill it) from two colleagues in the office who always spoke.  I went to lunch come back and found a card just left on my desk signed by the people in the office.  I laughed. Just left there. If I wanted any confirmation (and I didn't) this was it.

Later in the afternoon my phone went and it was one of the women who interviewed me the day before.  I have a new job.  They only wanted to fill one position but ended up recruiting myself and another.  I cried. I did apologise and say it was not very professional but they were so lovely.  I guess the past five years have taught me, albeit slowly at times, that I need to listen to me and recognise my worth. I took a chance to change my life (again) and only I can do that.  I was so happy.  I spoke to Andy and texted some people and returned to the office with such a smile, but obviously never told anyone. Time to leave and I went without a bye or leave.  That was that.  I have never felt happier in such a long time.

Back home and quick catch up then off to yoga.  Tonight was the last one of my six week course and I now have four beginner's classes I can attend. I really want to carry on with this but it is rather expensive and time consuming so I will have to see how my new job pans out.  But it is good to be doing yoga again.  I was so tired and literally fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I wonder why?

Thursday:  I had an appointment at the GP's this morning for some breathing tests. What a complete waste of time that was. It transpires that when the receptionist made the appointment they should have booked it differently.  The practitioner that I was seeing was vile.  She was so rude.  I really did have to bite my tongue but trust me, when I go back next time and if she is the same I will be saying something.  I appreciate that we all have bad days, I mean look at me, but if I spoke to her how she was me there would have been questions asked.  

So had time to do some hunter gathering stuff.  There really are role reversals in this flat.  Me hunting gathering and watching football and Andy well actually not, no cleaning, ironing but a bit of cooking but you get my point.

I took another phone call from my new employer and was asked do I drive, would I like to have a car or a travel allowance.  What can I say? I am having the travel allowance.  There is no way (as lovely and taxable as it would be) I will be having a car where I live.  So it is all looking very, very good.

I met Andy at the Southbank and we went to our favourite, Wahaca.  We both smiled when the waiter said have you been here before.  We had a great table over-looking the river and I had one of those moments where I thought, I really cannot believe I am living here.  We had a fantastic meal, we always do here, I cannot praise it enough  and then sat on the Southbank perving at the blokes going by.  I tell you, you can fall in love every 30 seconds. Sigh.

Tonight we had tickets to go and see 1984 the George Orwell book. Some of you may remember that Olivier was working on this production in the States. Well, as far as I know, he is working on this production back in London.  Originally, I was suppose to be getting some freebie tickets, but that was no longer going to happen, so Little Miss Independent bought her own.  We were up in the Gods (personally I deserved to be in a box but not going there with that!) and the leg room was non-existent and let's face it both Andy and I are not tall.  That aside, the show it's self was really good.  I just wished I had been more comfortable watching it.  I remember Oliver telling me that when they were in the States, many people walked out during the torture scene as they found it upsetting.  In London, people were laughing.  You have to love the Brits.  It was a great play and a good production and would highly recommend it.  However, it is obviously a dark play and we all know (well you do if you have read the book) that it doesn't have a happy ending.

Friday:  I went to visit a friend today out in the suburbs and spent a lovely morning drinking coffee chatting and laughing.  Back home and a quick shop and it was then time for my hair to be done.  I have not really found a hairdresser I have been happy with since arriving in town and also it is so bloody expensive.  However, back in February I went to a place in Dulwich and really liked the way the hairdresser coloured and styled my hair.  I rang her a couple of weeks ago to see if she worked Saturdays but she does not, but I did give her my number as she does mobile.  So today was the first time I was to have my hair done at home.

What a delight this was.  I am having it done in two halves. Tonight Lynn coloured it and got rid of my roots and my ever increasing grey streak ..... well I am 29 remember. Then gave it a good old cut and dried it off.  Tomorrow she is coming back and blow drying it and pinning it up so all I need to do before we go out is unpin it a voila. Well actually Lynn has got to be somewhere tomorrow so this was our compromise.  But it is all good and so much cheaper too.  

So it has been a strange week of ups and downs. The downs have been terrible and the ups have been brilliant.  I guess Roland Keating was right ..... life is like a roller coaster!  

As always, with my love x

Each morning I get up I die a little, can barely stand on my feet (take a look at yourself). Take a look in the mirror and cry Lord what you're doing to me (Find Me Somebody To Love - Queen)

Remember: 8 million people in London (plus traffic passing through); 4 million men, probably only 500,000 straight, half of them married ......... is it any wonder I do not do math!  As always, Freddie feels my pain.  Enjoy!

Saturday: It is so warm today.  Our flat gets so hot.  All the windows are open and it is still like a sauna.  I cannot keep my window open at night as the traffic is so noisy, so most mornings I wake up in a hot, sweaty bed ..... how divine is that? I wouldn't mind if someone was sharing it with me!  So today, when Andy goes out, I will do semi-naked housework.  It is the future you know.

I was watching the Trooping of the Colour on the TV and then saw the planes fly over, right outside of my window.  It was amazing. It was really impressive and got to see them before the Queen. So chores done it was time to complete more application forms.  I cannot tell you how time consuming they can be. However, I two third completed two so felt that was enough for one day, plus I had a stonking headache.  Not sure if that was a result of the paperwork or the warm, muggy weather again.  Either way, enough was enough.  I sat back and watched Death on the Nile.  I have seen this film countless times but do you know what, I did't care.  I had no intention of going out today, so it seemed the OK thing to do.

To be honest, by now I wished I had gone out somewhere.  I always do this! But now it is 18:15 and my hair is a mess so I can't be bothered.  But it is all

good as it doesn't hurt now and then to keep busy at home.  So tonight it was football, England at the Euros.  Back in my past life football played a huge part. I met JF at Italia 90, well not in Italy, but in a pub in Newquay and I guess that set a precedent of what would follow.  Every year since then, we as a family, celebrated the ups and many, many, many downs of the England team.  We used to put the flag out of the window, stock up on the beers, get the nachos and pizza and scream at the TV.  I remember the first time I watched an England game at home on my own after my terrible time.  It was sad and felt strange, but I have always continued to keep the faith.  So last night I poured myself a huge glass of dry white and made a toast to Megan and JF, wherever they are and wished them well and told them to enjoy the match. I smiled.  Liked Andy said it is important to remember the good times.

Andy come home and found me screaming at the TV with a wine glass in my hand.  Talk about role reversal.  He's not interested in football and turned into my usual gobby self.  So as usual, we did not win.  Andy and I then watched the film Deadpool and it really was a funny and good film.  I really enjoyed it. I guess I am slowly turning into a geek.

Sunday:  This week I have spent more on coffee and alcohol than I have on food.  In my cupboard I have four vegan stock cubes, two bags of coffee, a jar of mayonnaise, three tins of beans, some wheatabix, noodles and tomato

ketchup.  What a sorry state of affairs.  There is also some additional balancing that needs adjusting in my life as I have met more gay men this week than Andy. Welcome to London living.  I would be hard pressed to cook anything with that.  Caught the bus and up to meditation and once again it was very quiet. I was talking to a woman who attends who names sounds like I know her. Anyway, she is Spanish so I was telling her about my forthcoming trip to Barcelona. She suggested that I catch a train and go further south to find better beaches.  She suggested Stiges. I sighed and reminded her that Stiges is the gay capital of Barcelona! We did giggle.  No don't get me wrong and I do not want to be labelled as a homophobic FW, but only I would rock up in Barcelona and end up in gay town. I will not be going to Stiges. My friends Hannah and Emma turned up and we meditated and then decided to go to Islington.  We had a lovely walk, in the rain, along the canal to Islington, chatting and laughing.  They really are such two lovely women and I feel so privileged and lucky to have them as my dear friends.  

First stop was Paul A Young chocolates.  Now Hannah and Emma are beautifully formed - you may remember these were my friends who recently run the London Marathon.  We opened the door and straight away I put on 4lbs. I just love this shop at Camden Passage.  I had seen on Twitter that they had created a new chocolate for the summer which was a Pimms Cocktail chocolate based as in Pimms, cucumber, mint and strawberry. Absolutely amazing.   So I had a bag of six chocolates (one for Andy) and resisted the temptation to buy up all the shop.  The staff are always so lovely in this shop and would highly recommend a visit anytime you are passing.  Such a lovely treat.

Emma and I went to Pret for a drink whilst Hannah went to get some clothes as they are both off to Italy tomorrow for their holiday.

Emma and I had a good giggle talking about men and sex and all that stuff. Hannah then joined us and we continued the conversation.  So funny and such a good laugh.  They really are such beautiful souls.  We then went our separate ways and I nipped into Sainsbury's to stock up.  Well when I say stock up I purchased some butter, fruit juice and a jar of marmalade which now sits on its own, in my food cupboard next to the vegan stock cubes.

I had such a lovely afternoon with the girls and the time just flew by. Bus home and back to the flat to the absolutely awful news of the gun shooting well massacre, of people in a gay night club in Orlando.  This news makes me so sad for so many reasons.  I just wish America would wake up! They call themselves a civilised nation. Really!  Pointless, totally pointless.  I know I am a dreamer and can't for the life of me understand why we just can't all get along together.  We are all walking this journey.  Terrible.  The LGBTQ community is not my community as such, but I feel that I am an honorary member.  Love is love.  It is that simple.

As always, with my love x

I don't want my freedom. There's no reason for living with a broken heart. This is a tricky situation - I've only got myself to blame. It's just a simple fact of life It can happen to anyone. You win - you lose It's a chance you have to take with love. Oh yeah - I fell in love. But now you say it's over and I'm falling apart. (It's A Hard Life - Queen)

Oh Freddie feels my pain.  But he would, he's gay! Sigh. When you hear dear, sweet Freddie sign the above opening lines to this song, you can hear his pain. A wonderful song and I feel he was slightly conservative in his dress in this video.  Oh Freddie you and me would have had a blast (adds yet another gay man to her list. Remember, you know our Karen has always liked the gays) and as always, enjoy.

Monday: Such a beautiful morning in London and I will be able to walk to work with out a jacket for the first time this year.  It is also the first Monday morning that I have not felt anxious about what I was walking into. Presentation is completed and downloaded on a memory stick for tomorrow morning and tonight I will just relax.  Andy is working away tonight so I have the flat to myself.  The strange thing is that the more life-changing and huge decisions you make in your life, the easier things become. I guess it is because over the past five years (almost to the day now) my life has been one continual change that now I just accept this as the 'norm'.  Like my dear GP in Stoke said to me before I left .... 'if you keep doing the same thing then you will keep getting the same results.' So whilst I am slightly anxious about a new job, I am also so happy to be leaving this one. Yin and Yang. 

Day One of Five completed. The sun is shining and I am home alone tonight so just catching up with accounts and looking for jobs.  Had a lovely conversation with my friend Jackie in Stoke and I filled her in with all the details of the past few weeks - the good and the not so good.  But we finished laughing and that is always a good sign.  So presentation on memory stick, clothes out of the wardrobe all ready for the interview tomorrow.  Come on Universe, shine on me please.


Tuesday:  Slept surprisingly well considering Andy was not at home and the events of today.  Up, showered, dressed and caught the bus right outside my flat to a place near to Euston. Costa for a flat white pick me up (I was introduced to the flat white when I went to Sydney and now if I fancy milk this is my coffee of choice. Oh and Sydney has some of the best coffee I have ever tasted) and then off to my interview.  I do not get phased with interviews.  I had a brilliant teacher at Grammar School called Pat Wilson.  She was inspiring. She told us all that we should approach an interview knowing that the job was ours but do we actually want them to have our skills.  I have always carried this thought with me at every interview I have attended.  It is a shame I cannot use the same theory in much of the rest of my life.

Presentation went well and I answered many of the questions before they asked them, which is always a good sign.  We laughed and it was all very relaxed.  But, you never know.  I was first up and like to think I set the bar, but we shall see.  Back home two more applications sent off and two more ready to be printed by my PA (Andy) tomorrow.  However, London is very stormy this afternoon.  I do no like it.  That reminded me of the Prosecco debacle. I do not like it. The sky is full of storm and there has been a huge bolt of fork lightening right over The Shard.  I hope this is not a sign!  Well it was a sort of sign.  Email to invite me for another interview on 22 June for another position.  I am getting a positive feel about all this.  It's going to be OK.

Wednesday:  Just counting down the days.  It is funny how people want to speak to you when they want to find something out isn't it? I am telling them straight: it is none of their business where I am going, they have never been interested in me all the time I have been here, so don't bother asking now!


Good and bad news today.  I got an email to say I never got the job I went for yesterday.  I have to admit I am a tad disappointed, but it means that it was not where I needed to be.  I also received an invitation for another interview next Tuesday.  This was at the same place where the interview was last Friday that I was not allowed to attend because two people were off.  It is a different job but the same place. So fingers crossed for that one.  That one would be really good to get for so many reasons, of which I am not going into at this point.  So still feeling positive about it all.  At least I am getting interviews and more importantly, I am feeling a great deal better myself.  All is well.

Yoga was very hot, but very good.  I enjoy the class but if I am honest, it is a trek up there each week.  You can see how 'London' I have become. The tube fare is £5 before you start paying for each class (after my course has finished) fee of £15, makes it an expensive night out and one that I could only justify doing once a week.  I will continue with the course and the review the whole situation.  Needless to say, I was so tired when I got home, so it was a quick shower, piece of toast and bed; I slept so well. In fact, these days I am sleeping so much better.

Thursday: Oh yesterday I was told who would be taking over my role when I leave.  Was I surprised? Not one little bit, in fact I did say I would have put all the money I have in the bank on it being that person because that is what they wanted all along.  The Groovy Gang will be complete and they are welcome to it. Karma my friends, karma.

After work drinks tonight with my Meet Up Group and tonight it was a lovely pub up near Euston Station.  Some new faces which is always good and I got talking to a really nice guy who I shall call 'The Man'.  I really should not drink beer/lager.  I was doing so well then it all went down hill.  'The Man' told me that he went to another Meet Up Group called Gaming Men and Beer so I said oh my friend goes to a gaming group, what games do you play. He looked at me a bit confused and said he liked Monopoly. Oh says I my friend plays more geeky games.  So this conversation progressed for about ten minutes until 'The Man' says did you hear what I said? I said I went to a Gay Men and Beer Group. Yep a typical Karenism.  We did laugh.  So another new friend.  I said to Andy only I could go out and find a date for him and not me!!!! 

So I had a lovely veggie burger which was really tasty and a few more beers and lots of really interesting conversation.  It just reminds me that things are good, I am getting out and meeting people and all is well.  This is London a huge mixing pot of diverse and interesting people.  However, I do have to smile as obviously my vocation in life is meet Karen Mother of the Gays. It was a good night and I just love that group.

Friday:  So no work today because of all the annual leave.  Had a lazy start, typing up this blog.   I was met by a dead magpie in our garden.  I cannot help but think this is not good omen.  Caught the bus and got a free ride as the

Oyster Card machine was not working (this happens quite a lot) and was planning on going to the Museum of London, however, change of plans and got of at the Southbank and went along to take a look.  Today was the start of Meltdown. This festival takes part every year and is hosted by a person.  This year it is the lovely Guy Garvey from Elbow.  No sign of Guy.  I also found out that he got married last week (sigh, another opportunity taken from my grasp) to Diana Rigg's daughter - I think I will just give up now.  Not much happening so walked over to the Playhouse Theatre to get Andy and I some tickets to see 1984.


Now, you may recall Olivier was (and still is) working on this production and I was going to have free tickets.  However, when Olivier decided that he did not want to date, well he did not know what he wanted to do to be honest, I knew the freebies would be no more.  That aside, I wanted to see this play last year so I thought what the heck.  Lovely guy behind the ticket office (gay - I am gong to count every guy man I come across as I am sure I am meeting more than Andy!).  I then decided to take a walk along memory lane.  I walked from the Embankment Tube through the gardens, passing the Savoy and I had to

smile as I always promised my Meg that I would take her there for lunch one day.  This was when she was in her highchair trying to finger feed herself and got in a terrible state. This was my route to work back when I first left school.  I walked to Temple Gardens and sat, in the sunshine, reading my book.  I saw a guy meditating. I love this city. No one noticed; no one cared. He was in his zone. Happy.

I left the park and walked up past my old office, which is now be converted into luxury flats - no surprise there then.  Past Australia House that fed that dream of mine to one day visit Australia and then over my favourite bridge - Waterloo and back to where I started, the South Bank. Still no sign of the recently married Guy (not that I am not happy for him ..... sigh) and then I saw a small exhibition about Guy.  In the cabinet was a small Chinese cigarette case. This will probably not mean anything to any of you.  One of Elbow's albums is called The Seldom Seen Kid and the

exhibition stated that his was in fact a guy called Bryan Glancy who Guy used to go drinking with at a bar called The Temple in Manchester and the Chinese cigarette case belonged to him. A line, in the song, Grounds for Divorce, which itself is a track that I adore and played many times when I was going through my horrible time in my room. Anyway, back to the point, in the song Grounds of Divorce there is a line that states 'There is a Chinese cigarette case and the rest you can keep' and Bryan gave Guy this cigarette case, hence the line. I liked this, I liked this a lot. A song with words than are personal. But that is why I like Elbow.

Back home and I lay on my bed and fell asleep for an hour and woke up when Andy come home. Quiet evening watching Game of Thrones and Ab Fab. Plenty of laughter and all good stuff.

As always, with my love x